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When I Was Your Age Weird Al Yankovic rent When I was your age. I Was Only Kidding Weird Al Yankovic When I said I'd be faithful When I promised I'd be true When I swore that I could never Be with anyone but you When I told you that I loved you With those tender words I spoke I was only kidding Confessions Part III Weird Al Yankovic "diamond" ring is cubic zirconium I killed your goldfish accidentally, just replaced it with another one These are my confessions Just when (oh) I thought I said all (oh) I can say I need to get some Inactive Weird Al Yankovic up in Cheeto dust My belly's covered with pizza crust I'm using my inhaler now wheezes I'm out of shape, fattening up I'm sipping Coke from a solo cup Donut crumbs are upon my lips, whoa The TV's on, I Bedrock Anthem Weird Al Yankovic [Under the Bridge, Give It Away/Red Hot Chili Peppers/1991] Sometimes I feel Like I need a vacation Sometimes I feel Like I wanna go To the city of cavemen The city of Bedrock I'd be a Flintstone Jackson Park Express Weird Al Yankovic what's in store By the way, your hair is beautiful I bet it smells like raisins She looked at me in a way that asked Did you have a nose job or something I'm only asking, cause your nose looks slightly Stop Dragging My Car Around Weird Al Yankovic I had to go inside to use the phone. When I came back again, my car was gone. Well, I didn't know it was a loading zone. What a bummer, I as so brought down. weenie in a bottle Weird Al Yankovic It feels like I've been alone too long With no girls around, My mind was wondering, Thinking of some way, to release it I looked in the kitchen, Saw some crisco oil and thats when my blood started to Albuquerque [1] Weird Al Yankovic Way back when I was just a little bitty boy living in a box under the stairs in the corner of the basement half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop You know the place well anyway, back then Gotta Boogie Weird Al Yankovic , I went out to a party just the other night I was jammin' to the music, I was feelin' alright I was burning up the floor like a disco maniac When my woman said, "Baby, why's your hand behind you back Polkarama! Weird Al Yankovic I say you don't show Don't move, time is slow I say (gunshot) take me out! ["Beverly Hills" by Weezer] Beverly Hills - That's where I want to be! That Boy Could Dance Weird Al Yankovic We all used to call him Jimmy the Geek He was a dumb-lookin', scrawny, little four-eyed freak He never used to hang around with the guys He'd just sit in the corner, attractin' the flies He wasn't The Brady Bunch Weird Al Yankovic Rogers You can watch Three's Company And you can turn on Fame or The Nelywed Game Or The Addams Family I say, you can watch Barney Miller And you can watch your MTV And you can watch 'till The Brandy Bunch Weird Al Yankovic Say, you can watch Barney Miller, And you can watch your MTV, And you can watch Till your eyes fall out of your head. That'll be okay with me. Your Horoscope For Today "Weird Al" Yankovic Aquarius There's travel in your future when your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus Fill that void in your life by playing Whack-A-Mole seventeen hours a day Pisces Try to avoid any Virgos I Remember Larry Weird Al Yankovic forget about Larry No matter how I try Say do you remember when I lost all my hair 'Cause Lar' gave me that Nair shampoo And hey how bout the day he put Ben Gay inside my jockstrap And filled my toothpaste Ringtone Weird Al Yankovic Once, not very long ago, I was respected, I was popular (popular, ooh) But now I hang my head in shame (ahh, ooh) My life is filled with such regret A bad mistake I can't forget And now I'll never be the Everything You Know Is Wrong Weird Al Yankovic I was driving on the freeway in the fast lane With a rabid wolverine in my underwear When suddenly a guy behind me in the back seat Popped right up and cupped his hands across my eyes I guessed I'll Sue Ya Weird Al Yankovic brrr it was cold! Like A Surgeon Weird Al Yankovic Like a Surgeon [Like a Virgin/Madonna/1984] I finally made it through med school. Somehow I made it through. I'm just an intern, I still make a mistake or two. Word Crimes Weird Al Yankovic mission And that's why I think it's a Good time To learn some grammar Now, did I stammer Work on that grammar You should know when It's less or it's fewer Like people who were Never raised in a sewer You Don't Love Me Anymore Weird Al Yankovic Seems you don't want me around The passion is gone and the flame's died down I guess I lost a little bit of self-esteem That time that you made it with the whole hockey team You used to think I Close But No Cigar Weird Al Yankovic Jillian was her name, she was sweeter than aspartame. Her kisses reconfigured my DNA and after that, I never was the same. And I loved her more than Marlon Brando loved souffle. Handy Weird Al Yankovic help when your door jamb sticks heh There is nothing in the world I can't fix yeah I do tiles, I do stone, I do bricks Call me, I'll come rushing over with my bag of tricks bag of tricks Where you go I Lost On Jeopardy Weird Al Yankovic I was tense, I was nervous, I guess it just wasn't my night. Art Fleming gave the answers, Oh, but I couldn't get the questions right-ight-ight I lost on Jeopardy, Baby, (Oooh.) Why Does This Always Happen To Ne Weird Al Yankovic By Al Yankovic I was watching my TV one night when they broke in with a special report About some devastating earthquake in Peru There were thirty thousand crushed to death, even more were buried Why Does This Always Happen To Me? Weird Al Yankovic I was watching my TV one night when they broke in with a special report About some devastating earthquake in Peru There were thirty thousand crushed to death, even more were buried alive On the Richter Jerry Springer "Weird Al" Yankovic They don't care, they've got no shame There was one guy who I'm sure felt a little strange When he found out that his wife had a sex change They have a tendency to scream and yell constantly They have Good Old Days Weird Al Yankovic Oh some times I think back to when I was younger Life was so much simpler then Dad would be up at dawn He'd be watering the lawn Or maybe going fishing again Oh and mom would be fixing up something She Never Told Me She Was a Mime Weird Al Yankovic When we first met she seemed perfectly normal I never dreamed she'd make my life so hard You see, my baby, she started to change Started lookin' kinda strange Wearin' all that white makeup and