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Close But No Cigar Weird Al Yankovic You're close, but no cigar. Then I met sweet young Janet, prettiest thing on the planet. Had a body hotter than a habanjero, she had lips like a ripe pomergranite. Toothless People Weird Al Yankovic Toothless people...old and feeble, what I say No more of those pearly whites will they possess Their oral hygiene is frightful...a mess Lots of 'em suffering from trench mouth and gum disease At Trapped In The Drive - Thru Weird Al Yankovic I said "Well you know, baby, I'm not starvin' either But I could eat." She said "So whadya have in mind?" I said "I don't know what about you?" A Complicated Song (Parody of "Complicated" by Avril Lavigne) Weird Al Yankovic No no no I was feelin' pretty down Till my girlfriend came around We're just so alike in every way I gotta say In fact, I just thought I might Pop the question there that night I was kissing her A Complicated Song (Parody of "Complicated" by Avril Lavigne) Weird Al Yankovic No no no I was feelin' pretty down Till my girlfriend came around We're just so alike in every way I gotta say In fact, I just thought I might Pop the question there that night I was kissing her A Complicated Song Weird Al Yankovic A COMPLICATED SONG Parody of "Complicated" by Avril Lavigne New lyrics by Al Yankovic Uh huh... extra cheese Uh huh, uh huh... save a piece for me Pizza party at your house I went just to check Complicated Song Weird Al Yankovic A COMPLICATED SONG Parody of "Complicated" by Avril Lavigne New lyrics by Al Yankovic Uh huh... extra cheese Uh huh, uh huh... save a piece for me Pizza party at your house I went just Amish Paradise Weird Al Yankovic As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain But that's just perfect for an Amish like me You know, I shun fancy things like electricity CNR Weird Al Yankovic disrespect He stood eight feet tall, wore glasses, and had a third nipple on the back of his neck He ate his own weight in coal, excreted diamonds everyday He could throw you down a flight of stairs, but The Hot Rocks Polka Weird Al Yankovic I said ah, no, it's only rock 'n' roll, but I like it. Ah, no, it's only rock 'n' roll, but I like it, like it, yes I do. I really really really really do do do do do, hey! I Remember Larry Weird Al Yankovic toxic waste on my lawn Or those wacky prank phone calls from midnight till dawn What a crazy kid Larry was always foolin' around Boy, what a joker What a funny, funny guy I'll never forget about Larry No Jurassic Park Weird Al Yankovic velociraptors Well, believe me...this has been one lousy day Jurassic Park is frightening in the dark All the dinosaurs are running wild Somone shut the fence off in the rain I admit its kinda eerie But The Ballad Of Kent Marlow Weird Al Yankovic You did a really rotten thing And let Scout take all the blame You wrecked his reputation And left that poor boy in shame Yeah, but now I think it's time To show who really did the crime Kent Marlow Gandhi II Weird Al Yankovic No more Mr. Passive Resistance. He's out to kick some butt. This is one bad mother. You don't want to mess with him. "Don't move, slimeball." He's a one-man wrecking crew. Bohemian Polka Weird Al Yankovic Is this the real life Is this just fantasy Caught in a landslide No escape from reality Open your eyes Look up to the skies and see I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy 'Cause I'm easy come Talk Soup Weird Al Yankovic Listen to me My wife ran off with Elvis My boss shaved off my hair I've got a thing for poodles And rubber underwear And I wanna tell the world about it Right Now I had a close encounter I Albuquerque [2] Weird Al Yankovic Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel But I made a a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought Velvet Elvis Weird Al Yankovic You can tell that he's no velvet Elvis imitator. It's all I live for, it's all I need. My velvet Elvis, My velvet Elvis. She Never Told Me She Was a Mime Weird Al Yankovic She never told me she was a mime She never told me she was a mime, oh no Actin' like she's trapped inside a big glass box all the time She never told me, she nver told me she was a.... Germs "Weird Al" Yankovic Sometimes I really want to be alone But that's one state I'm never in Because I know that I've got millions upon millions Of tiny, one-celled organisms living on my skin (Germs) I rub and scrub Couch Potato Weird Al Yankovic Yo, Remote it ready, eyes wide, palms are sweaty There's Flinstones on the TV already, Wilma 'n' Betty No virgin to channel surfin', and I'm HD-ready So flip Garbage is all I'm getting There's Simon Couch Potato (Parody of "Lose Yourself" by Eminem) Weird Al Yankovic Yo - remote is ready Eyes wide, palms are sweaty There's Flintstones on the TV already Wilma 'n' Betty No virgin to channel surfin' And I'm HD-ready So I flip - garbage is all I'm getting There's Alternative Polka Weird Al Yankovic I am I am I am I said I wanna get next to you I said I'm gonna get close to you You wouldn't want me have to hurt you, too Hurt you, too I know what's on my mind I know you like what's on my mind I know Jackson Park Express Weird Al Yankovic own and operate Our own mobile pet grooming service I couldn't hold back my feelings I gave her a look, that said I would make any sacrifice for your love Goat, chicken, whatever I could never hold you close Generic Blues Weird Al Yankovic like I got broken glass in my underwear And a herd of wild pigs is trying to chew off my head You know what I'm sayin' Well I ain't got not money I'm just walkin' down the road Said I ain't got no Mr. Popeil Weird Al Yankovic (Please, no C.O.D.'s. Don't miss out on this deal.) Ah, help me. Mr. Popeil! Help me. Mr. Popeil! Mr. Popeil! Mr. Popeil! (Wo-o, wo-o. Ohhhhhh.) It slices. It dices. Peter and the Wolf Weird Al Yankovic But no matter how quickly Bruce tried to waddle away, he couldn't escape Seymore the Wolf who was wearing his best pair of tennis shoes. The Wolf was closing in on the Duck. Do I Creep You Out Weird Al Yankovic I know that you Don't know me very well We've barely met But I can surely tell No one will ever Love you like I do I like to feel The warm spot on your chair Sometimes I drool And usually Smells Like Nirvana Weird Al Yankovic I wish you'd tell me, I don't know Don't know, don't know, don't know, oh no Dnn't know, don't know, don't know Now I'm mumblin' and I'm screamin' And I don't know what I'm singin' Crank the volume Baby Likes Burping Weird Al Yankovic You know my baby likes burping You know my baby's kinda nauseating [burps] My little vulgar one is so gross 'Cause when I hold her in my arms so close she goes [burps] And out in public it's