I read the news today oh boy
About a lucky man
who made the grade
And though the news
was rather sad
Well I just had to laugh
I saw the photograph
He blew his mind out in a car
He didn't notice that
the lights had changed
A crowd of people stood and stared
They'd seen his face before
Nobody was really sure
If he was from the House of Lords
I saw a film today oh boy
The English Army had
just won the war
A crowd of people turned away
But I just had to look
Having read the book
I'd love to turn you on
Woke up fell out of bed
Dragged a comb across my head
Found my way downstairs
and drank a cup
And looking up I noticed I was late
Found my coat and grabbed my hat
Made the bus in seconds flat
Found my way upstairs
and had a smoke
And somebody spoke
and I went into a dream
I read the news today oh boy
Four thousand holes
in Blackburn Lancashire
And though the holes
were rather small
They had to count them all
Now they know how many holes
it takes to fill the Albert Hall
I'd love to turn you on