Various Artists

[MARK]
TELL THE FOLKS AT HOME WHAT YOU'RE DOING ROGER

[ROGER]
I'M WRITING ONE GREAT SONG --

[MARK]
THE PHONE RINGS.

[ROGER]
YESSS!

[MARK]
WE SCREEN

[ROGER & MARK'S ANSWERING MACHINE]
"SPEAK"... ("BEEEEEP!")

[COLINS]
"CHESTNUTS ROASTING---"

[ROGER & MARK]
COLLINS!

[COLLINS]
I'M DOWNSTAIRS

[MARK]
HEY!

[COLLINS]
ROGER PICKED UP THE PHONE??

[MARK]
NO, IT'S ME

[COLLINS]
THROW DOWN THE KEY

PMARK]
A WIKD NIGHT IS NOW PRE-ORDAINED

[COLLINS]
I MAY BE DETAINED

[MARK]
WHAT DOES HE MEAN...?
(PHONE RINGS AGAIN)
WAHT DO YOU MEAN - DETAINED?

[BENNY]
HO HO HO

[MARK & ROGER]
BENNY! SHIT

[BENNY]
DUDES, I'M ON MY WAY

[MARK & ROGER]
GREAT! FUCK

[BENNY]
I NEED THE RENT

[MARK]
WHAT RENT?

[BENNY]
THIS PAST YEAR'S RENT WHICH I LET SLIDE

[MARK]
LET SLIDE? YOU SAID WE WERE 'GOLDEN'

[ROGER]
WHEN YOU BOUGHT THE BUILDING

[MARK]
WHEN WE WERE ROOMMATES

[ROGERS]
REMEMBER - YOU LIVED HERE!?

[BENNY]
HOW COULD I FORGET?
YOU, ME, COLLINS AND MAUREEN
HOW IS THE DRAMA QUEEN?

[MARK]
SHE'S PERFORMING TONIGHT

[BENNY]
I KNOW
STILL HER PRODUCTION MANAGER?

[MARK]
TWO DAYS AGO I WAS BUMPED

[BENNY]
YOU STILL DATING HER?

[MARK]
LAST MONTH I WAS DUMPED

[ROGER]
SHE'S IN LOVE

[BENNY]
SHE'S GOT A NEW MAN?

[MARK]
WELL - NO

[BENNY]
WHAT'S HIS NAME?

[BOTH]
JOANNE

[BENNY]
RENT, MY AMIGO, IS DUE
OR I WILL HAVE TO EVICT YOU
BE THERE IN A FEW

[MARK]
THE POWER BLOWS...