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weenie in a bottle Weird Al Yankovic now I can't get it out (stuck my weenie in a bottle today, gonna shove it up all the way, I stuck my weenie in a bottle, oh no, i can't, just can't, someone help me out) Its turning purple, all Buy Me a Condo Weird Al Yankovic Gonna buy me a condo. Gonna buy me a Cuisinart. Get de wall-to-wall carpeting. Get de wallet full o' credit cards. I gonna buy me a condo. Never have to mow the lawn. One of Those Days Weird Al Yankovic Got to work late 'cause my alarm was busted The boss chewed me out and everybody's disgusted 'Cause it's just one of those days It's just one of those days I lost one of my socks in the drier I'll Sue Ya Weird Al Yankovic They never said I shouldn't use their microwave to dry off my cat I sued Earthlink cuz I called 'em up and they had the nerve to put me on hold I sued Starbucks cuz I spilled a Frappaccino in my lap and The Weird Al Show Theme Yankovic, "Weird Al" Oh, this is a story 'bout a guy named Al And he lived in a sewer with his hamster pal But the sanitation workers really didn't approve So he packed up his accordion and had to move To a city in Ohio The Weird Al Show Theme "Weird Al" Yankovic Oh, this is a story 'bout a guy named Al And he lived in a sewer with his hamster pal But the sanitation workers really didn't approve So he packed up his accordion and had to move To a city in Ohio Genius In France Weird Al Yankovic By Al Yankovic I'm not the brightest crayon in the box Everyone says I'm dumber than a bag of rocks I barely even know how to put on my own pants But I'm a genius in France (yeah), genius in France Stuck In A Closet With Vanna White Weird Al Yankovic I fall down a hole and that's when I realize I'm stuck in a closet with Vanna White. I'm stuck in a closet with Vanna White. Night after night after night after night. All right! Lame Claim To Fame Weird Al Yankovic One time I was in the checkout line Behind Steven Seagal Once I'm pretty sure Mr Jonah Hill Was in the very next bathroom stall My best friend's brother Well, he was an extra in Wayne's World 2 My neighbour's Amish Paradise Weird Al Yankovic At 4:30 in the morning I'm milkin' cows Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows... fool And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long that Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone I'm a man of the Ebay Weird Al eBay by Al Yankovic NOTE: A special HTML-Links Version of \"eBay\" lyrics is available. Lyrics: Yeah A used ... pink bathrobe A rare ... mint snowglobe A Smurf ... Bob Weird Al Yankovic BOB By Al Yankovic I, man, am regal - a German am I Never odd or even If I had a hi-fi Madam, I'm Adam Too hot to hoot No lemons, no melon Too bad I hid a boot Lisa Bonet ate no basil Warsaw Belvedere Cruising Weird Al Yankovic Now, you won't find me braggin' 'Bout my big green station wagon Or tellin' 'bout the traffic laws I'm breakin' Everybody knows that I wouldn't dare Match my wits with a red Corvair And just the Living With a Hernia Weird Al Yankovic [Living in America/James Brown/1985] All I do is grunt and groan Hurts me to walk anywhere Went to see my physician, Dr. Livin' In The Fridge Weird Al Yankovic There's something weird in the fridge today I don't know what it is Food I can't recognize My roommate won't throw a thing away I guess it's probably his It looks like it's alive... Another One Rides the Bus Weird Al Yankovic [Another One Bites The Dust/Queen/1980] Ridin' in a bus down the boulevard, And the place was pretty packed. Couldn't find a seat, so I had to stand, With the perverts in the back. The Biggest Ball Of Twine In Minnesota Weird Al Yankovic guy holding a sign that said "twine ball or bust" He smelled real bad and he said his name was Bernie I put in a Slim Whitman tape, my wife put on a brand new hair net Kids were in the back seat jumping Night Santa Went Crazy Weird Al Yankovic Down in the workshop all the elves were makin' toys For the good Gentile girls and the good Gentile boys When the boss busted in, nearly scared 'em half to death Had a rifle in his hands and cheap Dead Car Battery Blues Weird Al Yankovic One, two, a-one, two, three, four Well I, can't go to the park I can't go to work I can't do nothin' I gotta stay in my house like a jerk How come I always lose My car has blown a fuse Oh I Want a New Duck Weird Al Yankovic [I Want A New Drug/Huey Lewis & The News/1984] I want a new duck. One that won't try to bite. One that won't chew a hole in my socks. One that won't quack all night. I want a new duck. Traffic Jam Weird Al Yankovic the middle) Right here in the middle of a traffic jam Trapped inside My automobile Cobwebs growin' On the steering wheel Now, I'm no genius But one thing I know I shouldn't have eaten that bag Polkas on 45 Weird Al Yankovic A fire in the sky. Smoke on the water. [Sex (I'm a...)/Berlin] (I'm a man) I'm a boy. (I'm a man) Well, I'm your mother. (I'm a man) I'm a one-night stand. (I'm a man) Am I by? Albuquerque [1] Weird Al Yankovic Way back when I was just a little bitty boy living in a box under the stairs in the corner of the basement half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop You know the place well anyway, back then TRASH DAY Weird Al Yankovic TRASH DAY Parody of "Hot In Herre" by Nelly New Lyrics by Al Yankovic Rotten So rotten here So rotten Oh It was like, the last day before trash day My place was gettin' kinda nas-tay Even Attack Of The Radioactive Hamsters From A Planet N Weird Al Yankovic Attack of the Radioactive Hamsters from a planet near Mars. A race from a distant place, they came in UFO's shaped just like Cuban cigars. Man, oh man, you oughta hear 'em squeal. Ode To A Superhero (Parody of "Piano Man" by Billy Joel) Weird Al Yankovic one day he went to that science lab That mutated spider came down Oh, and now Peter crawls over everyone's walls And he's swingin' all over town La li la, li de da La la, li le la da dum Sling us a The White Stuff Weird Al Yankovic The first one was a sweet one Second one was a blast Soon I finished off the bag, ate 'em up real fast You can see 'em in my teeth Tell it when I talk Had so many my pancreas just went into shock Such a Groovy Guy Weird Al Yankovic I wear my dark sunglasses in the middle of the night. And when I look in the mirror, oh it's such an awesome sight. It makes me want to kneel down and pray. I'm so adorable and charming. Nature Trail to Hell Weird Al Yankovic Coming this Christmas to a theatre near you, The most horrifying film to hit the screen. There's a homicidal maniac who finds a Cub Scout troop, And he hacks up two or three in every scene. Yoda Weird Al Yankovic [Lola/The Kinks/1970] I met him in a swamp down in Dagobah where it bubbles all the time like a giant carbonated soda, S O D A, soda. I saw the little runt/wimp sitting there on a log.