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Why Does This Always Happen To Ne Weird Al Yankovic WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME? Why Does This Always Happen To Me? Weird Al Yankovic " What a drag, 'cause I was taping it and everything And now I'll have to wait for the rerun to see the part of the show I missed Why does this always happen... Gump Weird Al Yankovic Gump was a big celebrity He told JFK that he really had to pee He never feels too dumb because His mom always told him stupid is as stupid does He's Gump, He's Gump He's kinda square He's Gump, He's Gump Word Crimes Weird Al Yankovic mission And that's why I think it's a Good time To learn some grammar Now, did I stammer Work on that grammar You should know when It's less or it's fewer Like people who were Never raised in a sewer Genius In France Weird Al Yankovic By Al Yankovic I'm not the brightest crayon in the box Everyone says I'm dumber than a bag of rocks I barely even know how to put on my own pants But I'm a genius in France (yeah), genius in France Polka Party! Weird Al Yankovic This amusement never ends. I want to be: your sledgehammer. I can be your friend. I want to be your sledgehammer. This can be your testimony, yeah. Ricky Weird Al Yankovic Oh, Lucy, you're so fine, How I love to hear you whine. Hey, Lucy! Hey, Ricky! You always play your conga drums. You think you got the right. The Hot Rocks Polka Weird Al Yankovic [You Can't Always Get What You Want] I saw her today at the reception. A glass of wine in her hand. I knew she would meet her connection. At her feet was a footloose man. NOW That's What I Call Polka! Weird Al Yankovic We clawed, we chained our hearts in vain We jumped never asking why We kissed, I fell under your spell A love no one could deny Don't you ever say I just walked away I will always want you I can't live Handy Weird Al Yankovic rushing over with my bag of tricks bag of tricks Where you go when your disposal is rusted rusted Termite problem making you disgusted yuck When your front window is busted hey hey hey Just one man that's always Mr. Popeil Weird Al Yankovic How does that make you feel?) Help me. Mr. Popeil! I wanna shine some pennies! I wanna mend some leather! I wanna Krazy-Glue my head to the bottom of a big steel girder! (Please, no C.O.D.' weenie in a bottle Weird Al Yankovic No-one wanted to be with me, had to make my dream come true I wanted to hump something, I didn't know what to do It seemed like a good idea, and no-one else was around I stuck my weenie in a bottle, and Pretty Fly For A Rabbi Yankovic, "Weird Al" hiney hiney ho Our temple's had a fair share of rabbis in the past But most of 'em were nudniks and none of 'em would last But our new guy's real kosher, I tyhink he'll do the trick I tell ya, he's to Pretty Fly For A Rabbi "Weird Al" Yankovic hiney hiney ho Our temple's had a fair share of rabbis in the past But most of 'em were nudniks and none of 'em would last But our new guy's real kosher, I tyhink he'll do the trick I tell ya, he's to Inactive Weird Al Yankovic dust My belly's covered with pizza crust I'm using my inhaler now wheezes I'm out of shape, fattening up I'm sipping Coke from a solo cup Donut crumbs are upon my lips, whoa The TV's on, I really hate this Ebay Weird Al eBay by Al Yankovic NOTE: A special HTML-Links Version of \"eBay\" lyrics is available. Lyrics: Yeah A used ... pink bathrobe A rare ... mint snowglobe A Smurf ... Slime Creatures from Outer Space Weird Al Yankovic Well, we tried to hold 'em back, Tried to ward off their attack, But our atom bombs were just no use. They were ugly, they were mean, Biggest heads I ever seen. Toothless People Weird Al Yankovic [Ruthless People/Mick Jagger/1986] They only show you their gums when they smile Ain't got a tooth in their headsnow...how vile Only can eat things like pudding and applesauce They never have to Ebay Weird Al Yankovic TV tray I bought on eBay My house ... is filled with this crap Shows up in bubble wrap Most every day What I bought on eBay Tell me why (I need another pet rock) Tell me why (I got that Alf Ebay (Parody of "I Want It That Way" by the Backstreet Boys) Weird Al Yankovic TV tray I bought on eBay My house ... is filled with this crap Shows up in bubble wrap Most every day What I bought on eBay Tell me why (I need another pet rock) Tell me why (I got that Alf alarm I Can't Watch This Weird Al Yankovic Wanna cover my eyes and plug my ears It sucks, and that's no lie It's about as much fun as watching paint dry Lowers my IQ one notch And that's the reason why, uh, I can't watch I told you Generic Blues Weird Al Yankovic I woke up this morning Then I went back to bed Said I woke up this morning Then I went right back to bed Got a funny kind of feelin' like I got broken glass in my underwear And a herd of wild pigs Such a Groovy Guy Weird Al Yankovic It makes me want to kneel down and pray. I'm so adorable and charming. I'm sure that you can see. And everybody's always tryin' to hang around with me. My Bologna Weird Al Yankovic Such a tasty snack, I always eat too much, And throw up. But I'll soon be back For my my my yi yi wooo! M-M-M-My bologna. Spreadin' on the mustard now, A-show me how. Alternative Polka Weird Al Yankovic Soy un perdidor I'm a loser, baby So why don't you kill me? Soy un perdidor I'm a loser, baby So why don't you kill me? Hey! Jurassic Park Weird Al Yankovic Jimmy Webb,Richard Harris/1968] I recall the time they found those fossilized mosquitoes And before long, they were cloning DNA Now I'm being chased by some irate velociraptors Well, believe me...this Dead Car Battery Blues Weird Al Yankovic One, two, a-one, two, three, four Well I, can't go to the park I can't go to work I can't do nothin' I gotta stay in my house like a jerk How come I always lose My car has blown a fuse Oh Ringtone Weird Al Yankovic long ago, I was respected, I was popular (popular, ooh) But now I hang my head in shame (ahh, ooh) My life is filled with such regret A bad mistake I can't forget And now I'll never be the same Ringtone Why Foil Weird Al Yankovic I never seem to finish all my food I always get a doggie bag from the waiter So I just keep what's still unchewed And I take it home, save it for later But then I deal with fungal rot, bacterial formation I'm So Sick Of You Weird Al Yankovic You tell a joke and forget the punchline Why you always wastin' my time Hey baby, trust me, you just disgust me Your hair's a mess and your make-up's crusty I don't know too many females Who make a habit