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Stop Dragging My Car Around Weird Al Yankovic [Stop Draggin' My Heart Around/Stevie Nicks with Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers/1981] Had to park my car for just five minutes. I had to go inside to use the phone. Dead Car Battery Blues Weird Al Yankovic yeah I got hydraulic fluid leakin' in my shoes And the dead car battery blues You know, can't visit my girlfriend I can't go to school I can't go anywhere Gotta stay in my room like a fool ' I Want a New Duck Weird Al Yankovic One that won't chew a hole in my socks. One that won't quack all night. I want a new duck. One with big webbed feet. One that knows how to wash my car, And keep his room real neat. You Don't Love Me Anymore Weird Al Yankovic Seems you don't want me around The passion is gone and the flame's died down I guess I lost a little bit of self-esteem That time that you made it with the whole hockey team You used to think I I Remember Larry Weird Al Yankovic Say do you remember that guy Larry next door Well he always was the neighborhood clown Like the time he pulled my pants off and he took those color pictures And posted copies all over town Or the time My Bologna Weird Al Yankovic My Bologna [My Sharona/The Knack/1979] Oooh, my little hungry one, Hungry one. Open up a package of my bologna. Oooh, I think the toast is done, The toast is done. Spam Weird Al Yankovic (oh boy) Spam in my lunchbox at work. (it's the best) Really makes a darn good sandwich, any way you slice it at all. If you're running low, go to the store. Why Does This Always Happen To Ne Weird Al Yankovic By Al Yankovic I was watching my TV one night when they broke in with a special report About some devastating earthquake in Peru There were thirty thousand crushed to death, even more were buried Why Does This Always Happen To Me? Weird Al Yankovic I was watching my TV one night when they broke in with a special report About some devastating earthquake in Peru There were thirty thousand crushed to death, even more were buried alive On the Richter The Biggest Ball Of Twine In Minnesota Weird Al Yankovic world, now Where'd you like to go ta" They said, "Dad, we wanna see the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota" They picked the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota So the very next day we loaded up the car Germs "Weird Al" Yankovic Sometimes I really want to be alone But that's one state I'm never in Because I know that I've got millions upon millions Of tiny, one-celled organisms living on my skin (Germs) I rub and scrub Trapped In The Drive - Thru Weird Al Yankovic So we head out the front door Open the garage door Then I open the car doors And we get in those car doors Put my key in the ignition And then I turn it sideways Then we fasten our seat belts As Free Delivery Weird Al Yankovic Late at night, you're hungry You're craving some pizza Let me be the one that you call Olive or anchovy Perhaps pepperoni Anything you want, we've got it all Near, far, I'll jump in my car weenie in a bottle Weird Al Yankovic It feels like I've been alone too long With no girls around, My mind was wondering, Thinking of some way, to release it I looked in the kitchen, Saw some crisco oil and thats when my blood started to Livin' In The Fridge Weird Al Yankovic There's something weird in the fridge today I don't know what it is Food I can't recognize My roommate won't throw a thing away I guess it's probably his It looks like it's alive... Alimony Weird Al Yankovic (cheering) Here she comes now, wants her alimony Bleedin' me dry as a bony bony Workin' three jobs just to stay in debt now Well, first she took my nest egg then she took the nest I said yeah Waffle King Weird Al Yankovic batter any better in this whole stinkin' town One little bite any I'm sure you'll agree Your eyes roll back and your knees get weak Aw, You're gonna lick your plate clean People come from miles around First World Problems Weird Al Yankovic My maid is cleaning my bathroom, so I can't take a shower When I do, the water starts getting cold after an hour I couldn't order off the breakfast menu, cause I slept in till two Then I filled up on bread Bob Weird Al Yankovic BOB By Al Yankovic I, man, am regal - a German am I Never odd or even If I had a hi-fi Madam, I'm Adam Too hot to hoot No lemons, no melon Too bad I hid a boot Lisa Bonet ate no basil Warsaw The Hot Rocks Polka Weird Al Yankovic Hear him with the women just around midnight. Brown sugar! How come you taste so good? Brown sugar! Just like a young girl should. Cable TV Weird Al Yankovic Wizard is on at five I got a satellite dish on the trunk of my car So I can watch MTV while I drive I'm talkin' 'bout real quality programs The kind you just can't get for free Now I never wanna Cavity Search Weird Al Yankovic Listen to the Muzak Hearin' people scream Sittin' in the waiting room Readin' crappy magazines With a toothache This is it, pal Root Canal My molars are impacted I'm gettin' gum disease I'm Midnight Star Weird Al Yankovic I was waiting in the express lane with my twelve items or less, At the checkout counter at the local grocery store. Lame Claim To Fame Weird Al Yankovic One time I was in the checkout line Behind Steven Seagal Once I'm pretty sure Mr Jonah Hill Was in the very next bathroom stall My best friend's brother Well, he was an extra in Wayne's World 2 My neighbour's Albuquerque [2] Weird Al Yankovic Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel But I made a a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought Mr. Popeil Weird Al Yankovic I wanna Krazy-Glue my head to the bottom of a big steel girder! (Please, no C.O.D.'s. Don't miss out on this deal.) Ah, help me. Mr. Popeil! Help me. Mr. Popeil! Mr. Popeil! Mr. Popeil! Polkas on 45 Weird Al Yankovic You're my woman. Got my mojo risin'. Mister Mojo risin'. Hey! [In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida/Iron Butterfly] In a gadda da vida, honey, Don'tcha know that I love you. I Can't Watch This Weird Al Yankovic I can't watch this My my my my TV makes me so bored Makes me say, oh my lord What is this garbage here? Fat Weird Al Yankovic Your butt is wide, well mine is too Just watch your mouth or I'll sit on you The word is out, better treat me right 'Cause I'm the king of cellulite Ham on, ham on, ham on whole wheat, all right My Bedrock Anthem Weird Al Yankovic Yabba dabba, Yabba dabba dabba do now Yabba dabba, Yabba dabba dabba do now Yabba dabba, Yabba dabba dabba do now I get by on all my prehistoric knowhow Betty and Barney got a baby named Bamm-Bamm