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One of Those Days Weird Al Yankovic anything good on TV It's just one of those days It's just one of those days Left all my Beatles records out in the sun Got a Coke bottle stuck on the end of my tongue It's just one of those days Good Old Days Weird Al Yankovic again Oh and mom would be fixing up something in the kitchen Fresh biscuits or hot apple pie And I'd spend all day long in the basement Torturing rats with a hack-saw And pulling the wings off of Jerry Springer "Weird Al" Yankovic It's been one week since we got to see Cheatin' lovers and cousins that marry Five days since they had the show With the hermaphrodite, the slut, and the crack ho Three days since we heard the tale Belvedere Cruising Weird Al Yankovic won't find me braggin' 'Bout my big green station wagon Or tellin' 'bout the traffic laws I'm breakin' Everybody knows that I wouldn't dare Match my wits with a red Corvair And just the thought of Jurassic Park Weird Al Yankovic [MacArthur Park/Jimmy Webb,Richard Harris/1968] I recall the time they found those fossilized mosquitoes And before long, they were cloning DNA Now I'm being chased by some irate velociraptors Airline Amy Weird Al Yankovic Met this pretty young stewardess on a non-stop flight She showed me to my seat and it was love at first sight Now lately I've been flying to all kinds of places That I never really wanted to go ' The Biggest Ball Of Twine In Minnesota Weird Al Yankovic Well, I had two weeks of vacation time coming After working all year down at Big Roy's Eating And Plumbing So one night when my family the I were gathered 'round the dinner table I said, "Kids, if 'Frank's 2000'' TV' Weird Al Yankovic city, blocking out the noonday sun It dwarfs the mighty redwoods and it towers over everyone I still remember when that delivery truck came down our block What a lucky guy, I hear he got the last one I'm So Sick Of You Weird Al Yankovic biting their toenails Wo, every time you call you drive me up the wall Honey just the sight of you makes my flesh crawl I'm sure we'd be happy together If only one little thing weren't true Oh baby, I Theme from Rocky XIII Weird Al Yankovic [Eye of the Tiger/Survivor/1982] Fat and weak, what a disgrace. Guess the champ got too lazy. Ain't gonna fly now, he's just takin' up space. I Remember Larry Weird Al Yankovic Say do you remember that guy Larry next door Well he always was the neighborhood clown Like the time he pulled my pants off and he took those color pictures And posted copies all over town Or the time Your Horoscope For Today "Weird Al" Yankovic or Leos with the Ebola virus You are the tru Lord of the Dance, no matter what those idiots at work say Aries The look on your face will be priceless when you find that forty pound watermelon in Couch Potato Weird Al Yankovic [Intro] Look, if you had one shot To sit on your lazy butt And watch all the TV you ever wanted Until your brain turned to mush Would you go for it or just let it slip? Couch Potato (Parody of "Lose Yourself" by Eminem) Weird Al Yankovic Ozzy's family Sho' loves profanity Whoa, the insanity Oh, dogs that crap and pee Home of depravity? Germs "Weird Al" Yankovic Sometimes I really want to be alone But that's one state I'm never in Because I know that I've got millions upon millions Of tiny, one-celled organisms living on my skin (Germs) I rub and scrub Phony Calls Weird Al Yankovic collect call To some guy he doesn't know who lives in Japan He's callin' strangers up at three in the morning Gives 'em pizza pie delivery at four He won't be laughin' when they're tracin' his line One Attack Of The Radioactive Hamsters From A Planet N Weird Al Yankovic Attack of the Radioactive Hamsters from a planet near Mars. The president, he's in a panic. The Pentagon, they're in shock. There's a team of research scientists. Attack Of The Radioactive Hamsters From A Planet Weird Al Yankovic to know They got a little too close to the microwave and then much to my surprise They grew to forty thousand times their original size They started mutatin' right before my eyes Oh my Attack of White And Nerdy Weird Al Yankovic Jock skills I'm a champion of D&D MC Escher that's my favorite MC Keep your 40, I'll just have an Earl Grey tea My rims never spin to the contrary You'll find they're quite stationary All of my action Velvet Elvis Weird Al Yankovic Check out those sideburns, there is nothing greater. You can tell that he's no velvet Elvis imitator. It's all I live for, it's all I need. My velvet Elvis, My velvet Elvis. One More Minute Weird Al Yankovic pictures in two, And I burned down the malt shop where we used to go, Just because it reminds me of you. I Can't Watch This Weird Al Yankovic Wanna cover my eyes and plug my ears It sucks, and that's no lie It's about as much fun as watching paint dry Lowers my IQ one notch And that's the reason why, uh, I can't watch I told you Alternative Polka Weird Al Yankovic like what's on my mind I know it eats you up inside I know you know, you know Here I come I come I come I come Here I come I come I come All I wanna do is have some fun I gotta feeling I'm not the only one Pancreas Weird Al Yankovic love, I really love My pancreas My spleen just doesn't matter Don't really care about my bladder But I don't leave home without My pancreas My pancreas is always There for me Ahh-oooh Secreting those Albuquerque [2] Weird Al Yankovic Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel But I made a a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought Ode To A Superhero Weird Al Yankovic ODE TO A SUPERHERO Parody of "Piano Man" by Billy Joel New Lyrics by Al Yankovic Poor Peter Parker was pitiful Couldn't have been any shyer Mary Jane still wouldn't notice him Even if Girls Just Want To Have Lunch Weird Al Yankovic Some girls like to buy new shoes And others like drivin' trucks and wearing tattoos There's only one thing that they all like a bunch Oh, girls, they want to have lunch Oh, girls just want to have Traffic Jam Weird Al Yankovic Traffic Jam I haven't moved one inch from this here spot Traffic Jam The freeway's one big parking lot Traffic Jam My radiator's boiling hot And I'm stuck right here in the middle (right here in Confessions Part III Weird Al Yankovic confessions Just when I thought I said all I can say I came up with more secrets to tell you today These are my confessions Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me So now I gotta give you part three of Pretty Fly For A Rabbi Yankovic, "Weird Al" Oy vey, oy vey And all the goyim say I'm pretty fly for a rabbi Meccha leccha hi, meccha hiney hiney ho Our temple's had a fair share of rabbis in the past But most of 'em were nudniks and none