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My Own Eyes Weird Al Yankovic whole life Without seeing that With my own eyes I see things that'd drive a normal man insane Wish I could disconnect my brain From my own eyes I saw a mime get hacked to death With an imaginary cleaver Velvet Elvis Weird Al Yankovic My life, it used to be incomplete, Till I saw what I was looking for at a drive-in swap meet. My life it won't be the same again. Now I'm proud to say the king lives on inside my den. CNR Weird Al Yankovic Charles Nelson Reilly was a mighty man The kind of man you'd never disrespect He stood eight feet tall, wore glasses, and had a third nipple on the back of his neck He ate his own weight in coal, excreted Polka Your Eyes Out Weird Al Yankovic That's me in the corner That's me in the spotlight Losing my religion Trying to keep a view And I don't know if I can do it Oh no, I've said too much I haven't said enough The things you Jackson Park Express Weird Al Yankovic eyebrow, ever so slightly Which was my way of asking Do you want my old Hewlett Packard printer It still works, Kinda And I got a bunch of ink cartridges left Then, she let out a long sigh Which, I took 'Frank's 2000'' TV' Weird Al Yankovic blocks away On Frank's 2000" TV (Frank's 2000" TV) Everybody come and see (Frank's 2000" TV) Frank's 2000" TV (Frank's 2000" TV) Everybody come and see (Frank's 2000" TV) I'm gonna get one of my The Brandy Bunch Weird Al Yankovic Say, you can watch Barney Miller, And you can watch your MTV, And you can watch Till your eyes fall out of your head. That'll be okay with me. I Can't Watch This Weird Al Yankovic I can't watch this My my my my TV makes me so bored Makes me say, oh my lord What is this garbage here? Craigslist Weird Al Yankovic mother Didn't you see me hold up my index finger? The Brady Bunch Weird Al Yankovic You can watch Three's Company And you can turn on Fame or The Nelywed Game Or The Addams Family I say, you can watch Barney Miller And you can watch your MTV And you can watch 'till your eyes Money For Nothing/Beverly Hillbillies Weird Al Yankovic Now, looka here, people, listen to my story, A little story 'bout a man named Jed. You know somethin', that poor mountaineer, They say he barely kept his family fed. Dog Eat Dog Weird Al Yankovic Found a job in a great big office And I really love this place I got my very own Scotch tape dispenser And I got a private parking space...ha! That Boy Could Dance Weird Al Yankovic Well, his hair was a mess and his clothes didn't fit He smelled pretty bad, and he drooled just a bit but you gotta admit boy, that boy could dance Now that boy is much older he's got his own Slime Creatures from Outer Space Weird Al Yankovic They wasted everybody on my block. There goes the neighborhood. They'll zap you with their death-ray eyes, And blow you up real good. Run for your lives! (Slime Creatures from Outer Space.) Skipper Dan Weird Al Yankovic I starred in every high school play Blew every drama teacher away I graduated first in my class at Juilliard Took every acting workshop I could And I dreamed of Hollywood While I read my Uta Hagen and Fat Weird Al Yankovic Your butt is wide, well mine is too Just watch your mouth or I'll sit on you The word is out, better treat me right 'Cause I'm the king of cellulite Ham on, ham on, ham on whole wheat, all right My The Weird Al Show Theme Yankovic, "Weird Al" Oh, this is a story 'bout a guy named Al And he lived in a sewer with his hamster pal But the sanitation workers really didn't approve So he packed up his accordion and had to move To a city in Ohio The Weird Al Show Theme "Weird Al" Yankovic Oh, this is a story 'bout a guy named Al And he lived in a sewer with his hamster pal But the sanitation workers really didn't approve So he packed up his accordion and had to move To a city in Ohio Attack Of The Radioactive Hamsters From A Planet N Weird Al Yankovic Attack Of The Radioactive Hamsters From A Planet Near Mars They showed up on my doorstep Just a couple weeks ago. They looked so sweet and harmless. Tell me, how was I to know? Attack Of The Radioactive Hamsters From A Planet Weird Al Yankovic They showed up on my doorstep just a couple weeks ago They looked so sweet and harmless Tell me, how was I to know They got a little too close to the microwave and then much to my surprise They grew Couch Potato Weird Al Yankovic Yo, Remote it ready, eyes wide, palms are sweaty There's Flinstones on the TV already, Wilma 'n' Betty No virgin to channel surfin', and I'm HD-ready So flip Garbage is all I'm getting There's Simon Bohemian Polka Weird Al Yankovic Is this the real life Is this just fantasy Caught in a landslide No escape from reality Open your eyes Look up to the skies and see I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy 'Cause I'm easy come Waffle King Weird Al Yankovic It took a lifetime, but finally found The perfect waffle recipe You'll never find a batter any better in this whole stinkin' town One little bite any I'm sure you'll agree Your eyes roll back and Couch Potato (Parody of "Lose Yourself" by Eminem) Weird Al Yankovic Yo - remote is ready Eyes wide, palms are sweaty There's Flintstones on the TV already Wilma 'n' Betty No virgin to channel surfin' And I'm HD-ready So I flip - garbage is all I'm getting There's White And Nerdy Weird Al Yankovic Jock skills I'm a champion of D&D MC Escher that's my favorite MC Keep your 40, I'll just have an Earl Grey tea My rims never spin to the contrary You'll find they're quite stationary All of my action Everything You Know Is Wrong Weird Al Yankovic I was driving on the freeway in the fast lane With a rabid wolverine in my underwear When suddenly a guy behind me in the back seat Popped right up and cupped his hands across my eyes I guessed Wanna B Ur Lovr Weird Al Yankovic WANNA BE UR LOVR By Al Yankovic I don't have a library card But do you mind if I check you out? Amoeba Weird Al Yankovic The Amoeba is so small you need A microscope to see one It hurts the eyes, but I'll concede, I'd rather see then be one They never sing or laugh or talk Or eat fondeaux or ciche And if you take Genius In France Weird Al Yankovic By Al Yankovic I'm not the brightest crayon in the box Everyone says I'm dumber than a bag of rocks I barely even know how to put on my own pants But I'm a genius in France (yeah), genius in France Party Dt The Leper Colony Weird Al Yankovic PARTY AT THE LEPER COLONY by Al Yankovic Finger food and an ice cold keg It won't cost you an arm and a leg Dance all night to a rotten band Come on, people, let's give 'em a hand Saturday night