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My Bologna Weird Al Yankovic My Bologna [My Sharona/The Knack/1979] Oooh, my little hungry one, Hungry one. Open up a package of my bologna. Oooh, I think the toast is done, The toast is done. Inactive Weird Al Yankovic I'm waking up in Cheeto dust My belly's covered with pizza crust I'm using my inhaler now wheezes I'm out of shape, fattening up I'm sipping Coke from a solo cup Donut crumbs are upon my lips, whoa The Dead Car Battery Blues Weird Al Yankovic yeah I got hydraulic fluid leakin' in my shoes And the dead car battery blues You know, can't visit my girlfriend I can't go to school I can't go anywhere Gotta stay in my room like a fool ' My Own Eyes Weird Al Yankovic whole life Without seeing that With my own eyes I see things that'd drive a normal man insane Wish I could disconnect my brain From my own eyes I saw a mime get hacked to death With an imaginary cleaver Stop Dragging My Car Around Weird Al Yankovic [Stop Draggin' My Heart Around/Stevie Nicks with Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers/1981] Had to park my car for just five minutes. I had to go inside to use the phone. Cable TV Weird Al Yankovic leave my apartment 'Cause there's just so much for me to see On my cable TV (Cable TV) Cable TV(Cable TV) Well, if you need to find me You know where I'll be Watchin' my cable TV, yeah Watchin Velvet Elvis Weird Al Yankovic My life, it used to be incomplete, Till I saw what I was looking for at a drive-in swap meet. My life it won't be the same again. Now I'm proud to say the king lives on inside my den. Confessions Part III Weird Al Yankovic Watch this These are my confessions Just when I thought I said all I can say I came up with more secrets to tell you today These are my confessions Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me So Ringtone Weird Al Yankovic Once, not very long ago, I was respected, I was popular (popular, ooh) But now I hang my head in shame (ahh, ooh) My life is filled with such regret A bad mistake I can't forget And now I'll never be the Pancreas Weird Al Yankovic Oooh oooh oooh ee-oooh oooh oooh Ahh ahh ahh ahh ahh ahh-oooh oooh Oooooh I'm always thinkin' 'bout it I don't know what I'd do without it I love, I really love My pancreas My spleen just doesn't Baby Likes Burping Weird Al Yankovic You know my baby likes burping You know my baby's kinda nauseating [burps] My little vulgar one is so gross 'Cause when I hold her in my arms so close she goes [burps] And out in public it's The Hot Rocks Polka Weird Al Yankovic The Hot Rocks Polka [/The Rolling Stones] [It's Only Rock 'n' Roll (But I Like It)] If I could stick my hand in my heart, Spill it all over the stage, Would it satisfy you, would it slide on by King of Suede Weird Al Yankovic (Is my size up there?) We got tailors to fix it, if it comes out wrong. (Is my size up there?) We got all kinds of sweatshirts, you can take your pick. (Is my size up there?) First World Problems Weird Al Yankovic My maid is cleaning my bathroom, so I can't take a shower When I do, the water starts getting cold after an hour I couldn't order off the breakfast menu, cause I slept in till two Then I filled up on bread You Don't Love Me Anymore Weird Al Yankovic of self-esteem That time that you made it with the whole hockey team You used to think I was nice Now you tell all your friends that I'm the Antichrist Oh, why did you disconnect the breaks in my White And Nerdy Weird Al Yankovic Jock skills I'm a champion of D&D MC Escher that's my favorite MC Keep your 40, I'll just have an Earl Grey tea My rims never spin to the contrary You'll find they're quite stationary All of my action Syndicated Inc. Weird Al Yankovic My whole family Loves Three's Company See the reruns constantly There on my TV Syndicated Incorporated Well, I know what's on the tube I know just what to see Got my TV Guide with me MASH and All In Alimony Weird Al Yankovic (cheering) Here she comes now, wants her alimony Bleedin' me dry as a bony bony Workin' three jobs just to stay in debt now Well, first she took my nest egg then she took the nest I said yeah Callin` In Sick Weird Al Yankovic Hit my snooze alarm for the 27th time Just don't feel like goin' to work - I think I'll call my boss, then I'm Gonna hack and cough and wheeze Swear I've got some strange disease What's that little One of Those Days Weird Al Yankovic Got to work late 'cause my alarm was busted The boss chewed me out and everybody's disgusted 'Cause it's just one of those days It's just one of those days I lost one of my socks in the drier One More Minute Weird Al Yankovic You ain't gonna break my heart in two. 'Cause I'd rather get a hundred thousand paper cuts on my face, Than spend one more minute with you. Gotta Boogie Weird Al Yankovic Gotta boogie Gotta boogie Gotta boogie Gotta boogie Gotta boogie (gotta boogie) Gotta boogie (gotta boogie) Gotta boogie (gotta boogie) Gotta boogie on my finger and I can't shake it off Well Albuquerque [1] Weird Al Yankovic And my dear, sweet mother She just looked at my like a cow looks at an oncoming train And she leaned right down next to me And she said "IT'S GOOD FOR YOU" And then she tied me to the wall and stuck Talk Soup Weird Al Yankovic I dated Siamese twins I slept with Bigfoot, too Get me on Sally Jesse Put me on Donahue 'Cause I wanna tell the whole world about it Right now My dog's a narcoleptic My mom's a circus freak weenie in a bottle Weird Al Yankovic It feels like I've been alone too long With no girls around, My mind was wondering, Thinking of some way, to release it I looked in the kitchen, Saw some crisco oil and thats when my blood started to Generic Blues Weird Al Yankovic I woke up this morning Then I went back to bed Said I woke up this morning Then I went right back to bed Got a funny kind of feelin' like I got broken glass in my underwear And a herd of wild pigs Airline Amy Weird Al Yankovic Met this pretty young stewardess on a non-stop flight She showed me to my seat and it was love at first sight Now lately I've been flying to all kinds of places That I never really wanted to go ' Cavity Search Weird Al Yankovic Listen to the Muzak Hearin' people scream Sittin' in the waiting room Readin' crappy magazines With a toothache This is it, pal Root Canal My molars are impacted I'm gettin' gum disease I'm Polkas on 45 Weird Al Yankovic You're my woman. Got my mojo risin'. Mister Mojo risin'. Hey! [In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida/Iron Butterfly] In a gadda da vida, honey, Don'tcha know that I love you. I'll Sue Ya Weird Al Yankovic They never said I shouldn't use their microwave to dry off my cat I sued Earthlink cuz I called 'em up and they had the nerve to put me on hold I sued Starbucks cuz I spilled a Frappaccino in my lap and