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King of Suede Weird Al Yankovic You can buy off the rack, or have it custom made, And it's all guaranteed to never shrink or fade, 'Cause of my reputation as the King of Suede. Waffle King Weird Al Yankovic (yeah) Waffle King That's what they call me Waffle King Hey, I'm the Waffle King Everywhere I go now, the people cheer I never have to wait in line People say, "Right this way, sir, your money's Velvet Elvis Weird Al Yankovic Now I'm proud to say the king lives on inside my den. Oh, it's all I live for, it's all I need. My velvet Elvis, My velvet Elvis. My velvet Elvis means the world to me. Fast Food Weird Al Yankovic How about making a run for the border How about me deserving a break today How about getting some fries with my order How about finally letting me have it my way Thank you Burger King Thank you Couch Potato Weird Al Yankovic Oh, Ozzy's family, sho' love profanity Whoa, the insanity, oh dogs that crap and pee Home of depravity? Couch Potato (Parody of "Lose Yourself" by Eminem) Weird Al Yankovic Ozzy's family Sho' loves profanity Whoa, the insanity Oh, dogs that crap and pee Home of depravity? This Is The Life Weird Al Yankovic I got a million pairs of shoes. This is the life! I got a solid gold Cadillac. I make a fortune while I sleep. You can tell I'm a living legend, Not some ordinary creep. Jerry Springer "Weird Al" Yankovic Do you recall when the brawl Became a total free-for-all And Jerry's in the middle tryin' to be the referee Hey, see the stripper with the implants She likes to lap dance And date the boyfriend of Whatever You Like Weird Al Yankovic coupons all night and baby you can have whatever you like(If you like) I said you can have whatever you like(If you like) yeah, yeah Take you out for dinner, anywhere that you please like Burger King Fat Weird Al Yankovic Your butt is wide, well mine is too Just watch your mouth or I'll sit on you The word is out, better treat me right 'Cause I'm the king of cellulite Ham on, ham on, ham on whole wheat, all right The Weird Al Show Theme Yankovic, "Weird Al" lived in a tree And he worked in a nasal decongestant factory And he played on the company bowling team And every single night he had a strange recurring dream Where he was wearing lederhose in a vat of The Weird Al Show Theme "Weird Al" Yankovic lived in a tree And he worked in a nasal decongestant factory And he played on the company bowling team And every single night he had a strange recurring dream Where he was wearing lederhose in a vat of Ebay Weird Al eBay by Al Yankovic NOTE: A special HTML-Links Version of \"eBay\" lyrics is available. Lyrics: Yeah A used ... pink bathrobe A rare ... mint snowglobe A Smurf ... One of Those Days Weird Al Yankovic Got to work late 'cause my alarm was busted The boss chewed me out and everybody's disgusted 'Cause it's just one of those days It's just one of those days I lost one of my socks in the drier I'm So Sick Of You Weird Al Yankovic tell a joke and forget the punchline Why you always wastin' my time Hey baby, trust me, you just disgust me Your hair's a mess and your make-up's crusty I don't know too many females Who make a habit of Trapped In The Drive - Thru Weird Al Yankovic I say "Nah, I'm not in the mood... ...And Burrito King would make me gassy There's no doubt" She says "Just forget about it" I said "No, I swear I'm gonna take you out!" George Of The Jungle Weird Al Yankovic George, George, George of the jungle Strong as he can be Ahhh Watch out for that tree George, George, George of the jungle Lives a life that's free Ahhh Watch out for that tree When he gets Attack Of The Radioactive Hamsters From A Planet N Weird Al Yankovic Attack of the Radioactive Hamsters from a planet near Mars. The president, he's in a panic. The Pentagon, they're in shock. There's a team of research scientists. The Biggest Ball Of Twine In Minnesota Weird Al Yankovic you could go anywhere in this great big world, now Where'd you like to go ta" They said, "Dad, we wanna see the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota" They picked the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota Attack Of The Radioactive Hamsters From A Planet Weird Al Yankovic to know They got a little too close to the microwave and then much to my surprise They grew to forty thousand times their original size They started mutatin' right before my eyes Oh my Attack of I Lost On Jeopardy Weird Al Yankovic Well I knew I was in trouble now, My hope of winning sank, 'Cause I got the Daily Double now, And then my mind went blank. I took Potpourri for one hundred, And then my head started to spin. Peter and the Wolf Weird Al Yankovic Each character is represented by a different instrument of the synthesized orchestra. For instance, the part of Billy the Bird is played by a flute, like this... Spatula City Weird Al Yankovic A giant warehouse of spatulas for every occasion. Thousands to choose from, in every shape, size and color. And because we eliminate the middle man, We can sell factory direct to you. Hooked On Polkas Weird Al Yankovic [State of Shock/The Jacksons,Mick Jagger] She looks so great, everytime I see her face. She put me in a state (ooh, state of shock) [Sharp Dressed Man/ZZ Top] Top coat. Top hat. Your Horoscope For Today "Weird Al" Yankovic Aquarius There's travel in your future when your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus Fill that void in your life by playing Whack-A-Mole seventeen hours a day Pisces Try to avoid any Virgos Jackson Park Express Weird Al Yankovic way, your hair is beautiful I bet it smells like raisins She looked at me in a way that asked Did you have a nose job or something I'm only asking, cause your nose looks slightly better Than the rest of Mission Statement Weird Al Yankovic Using management's philosophy Advance our market share vis a vis Our proven methodology With strong commitment to quality Effectively enhancing corporate synergy Transitioning our company By awareness of The Brandy Bunch Weird Al Yankovic Say, you can watch Barney Miller, And you can watch your MTV, And you can watch Till your eyes fall out of your head. That'll be okay with me. Traffic Jam Weird Al Yankovic Seems like I've been waiting here for all eternity Oh, and just in case you're wondering I'll tell you where I am I'm right here (right here) right here (right here) Stuck right here in the middle of CNR Weird Al Yankovic Charles Nelson Reilly was a mighty man The kind of man you'd never disrespect He stood eight feet tall, wore glasses, and had a third nipple on the back of his neck He ate his own weight in coal, excreted