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I Want a New Duck Weird Al Yankovic [I Want A New Drug/Huey Lewis & The News/1984] I want a new duck. One that won't try to bite. One that won't chew a hole in my socks. One that won't quack all night. I want a new duck. Peter and the Wolf Weird Al Yankovic This is a story that I like to call, ``Peter and the Wolf''. Are you sitting comfortably? Are you!? Good, then let's begin.... Christmas at Ground Zero Weird Al Yankovic The sleigh bells are ringin' and the carolers are singin' While the air raid sirens blare It's Christmas at Ground Zero The button has been pressed The radio just let us know That this is not a Girls Just Want To Have Lunch Weird Al Yankovic Some girls like to buy new shoes And others like drivin' trucks and wearing tattoos There's only one thing that they all like a bunch Oh, girls, they want to have lunch Oh, girls just want to have Whatever You Like Weird Al Yankovic , you should know I am really quite a sweet guy when I buy you bathroom tissue I always get the two-ply want it, you can get it, my dear I got my Costco membership card right here, yeah You like My Own Eyes Weird Al Yankovic I saw a baby drive a truck I saw a junkie eat a tuba I saw a stripper kiss a duck Behind a dumpster in Aruba I saw this fat, psychotic guy His underwear was made of crickets He pawned a skeleton to buy Mr. Popeil Weird Al Yankovic I need a Vegematic! I need a Pocket Fisherman! I need a handy appliance That'll scramble an egg while it's still inside its shell! (Operators are standing by. How does that make you feel?) The Hot Rocks Polka Weird Al Yankovic Ain't it stra-a-ange, If I could win, if I could sing A love song so divine, Would it be enough for your cheating heart If I broke down and cried? If I cri-i-ied? Ebay Weird Al eBay by Al Yankovic NOTE: A special HTML-Links Version of \"eBay\" lyrics is available. Lyrics: Yeah A used ... pink bathrobe A rare ... mint snowglobe A Smurf ... Ebay (Parody of "I Want It That Way" by the Backstreet Boys) Weird Al Yankovic Yeah A used ... pink bathrobe A rare ... mint snowglobe A Smurf ... Carnival of the Animals Part Two, Introduction Weird Al Yankovic This is a new composition which features A random assortment of all living creatures You'll find that it's not quite exactly the same As the one by Camille Saint what's-his-name Camille, in his Handy Weird Al Yankovic First things first, I'm a craftsman craftsman Remodelling is my only passion it's my passion And I'm the greatest in the business Want referrals, yo My clientele will bear you witness right, right I can Polka Power "Weird Al" Yankovic Yeah, I'll tell ya what I want, what I really really want So tell us what you want, what you really really want I'll tell ya what I want, what I really really want So tell us what you want, what you Inactive Weird Al Yankovic I'm waking up in Cheeto dust My belly's covered with pizza crust I'm using my inhaler now wheezes I'm out of shape, fattening up I'm sipping Coke from a solo cup Donut crumbs are upon my lips, whoa The A Complicated Song Weird Al Yankovic A COMPLICATED SONG Parody of "Complicated" by Avril Lavigne New lyrics by Al Yankovic Uh huh... extra cheese Uh huh, uh huh... save a piece for me Pizza party at your house I went just to check One More Minute Weird Al Yankovic Well, I heard that you're leavin', Gonna leave me far behind, 'Cause you found a brand new lover, You decided that I'm not your kind, So I pulled your name out of my Rolodex, And I tore all your Tacky Weird Al Yankovic It might seem crazy, wearing stripes and plaid I instagram every meal I've had All my used liquor bottles are on display We can go to see a show but I'll make you pay because I'm tacky Wear my belt with Trapped In The Drive - Thru Weird Al Yankovic I hopped up and I said "I don't know, do you want to get something delivered?" She's like "Why would I want to eat liver? I don't even like liver!" I'm like "No, I said 'delivered'." Complicated Song Weird Al Yankovic A COMPLICATED SONG Parody of "Complicated" by Avril Lavigne New lyrics by Al Yankovic Uh huh... extra cheese Uh huh, uh huh... save a piece for me Pizza party at your house I went just Slime Creatures from Outer Space Weird Al Yankovic They were ugly, they were mean, Biggest heads I ever seen. They made everybody scream and shout. First they leveled Tokyo, Then New York was next to go. Boy, I really wish they'd cut it out! Pretty Fly For A Rabbi Yankovic, "Weird Al" of 'em would last But our new guy's real kosher, I tyhink he'll do the trick I tell ya, he's to dies for - he really knows his shtick So how's by you? Pretty Fly For A Rabbi "Weird Al" Yankovic of 'em would last But our new guy's real kosher, I tyhink he'll do the trick I tell ya, he's to dies for - he really knows his shtick So how's by you? Alimony Weird Al Yankovic (cheering) Here she comes now, wants her alimony Bleedin' me dry as a bony bony Workin' three jobs just to stay in debt now Well, first she took my nest egg then she took the nest I said yeah Taco Grande Weird Al Yankovic just gotta have a tostada, carne asada That's right, I want the whole enchilada My only addiction has to do with flour tortilla I need a quesadilla I love to stuff my face with tacos al carbon The Biggest Ball Of Twine In Minnesota Weird Al Yankovic guy holding a sign that said "twine ball or bust" He smelled real bad and he said his name was Bernie I put in a Slim Whitman tape, my wife put on a brand new hair net Kids were in the back seat jumping Ebay Weird Al Yankovic Yeah A used ... pink bathrobe A rare ... mint snowglobe A Smurf ... Foil Weird Al Yankovic I never seem to finish all my food I always get a doggie bag from the waiter So I just keep what's still unchewed And I take it home, save it for later But then I deal with fungal rot, bacterial formation Eat It Weird Al Yankovic How come you're always such a fussy young man? Polka Party! Weird Al Yankovic [Sledgehammer/Peter Gabriel] You could have a big-dipper, Going up and down all around the bends, You can have bumber-cars, bumping. This amusement never ends. Cheerios, Apple Jacks, Cheerios Weird Al Yankovic Cheerios, Apple Jacks, Cheerios Did you know Froot Loops fit in your nose I may be just a simple guy But just the thought of Corn Flakes makes me high Cheerios, Cocoa Puffs, Cheerios Makes me