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I Lost On Jeopardy Weird Al Yankovic I Lost On Jeopardy [Jeopardy/The Greg Kihn Band/1983] Ohhhhhh... I was there, to match my intellect, on national TV, Against a plumber, and an architect, both with a Ph.D. Syndicated Inc. Weird Al Yankovic My whole family Loves Three's Company See the reruns constantly There on my TV Syndicated Incorporated Well, I know what's on the tube I know just what to see Got my TV Guide with me MASH and All In Polkas on 45 Weird Al Yankovic [Jocko Homo/Devo] They tell us that we lost our tails, Evolving up from little snails. I say it's all just wind and sails. Are we not men, we are Devo. Are we not men, D-E-V-O. One of Those Days Weird Al Yankovic Got to work late 'cause my alarm was busted The boss chewed me out and everybody's disgusted 'Cause it's just one of those days It's just one of those days I lost one of my socks in the drier The Weird Al Show Theme Yankovic, "Weird Al" Oh, this is a story 'bout a guy named Al And he lived in a sewer with his hamster pal But the sanitation workers really didn't approve So he packed up his accordion and had to move To a city in Ohio The Weird Al Show Theme "Weird Al" Yankovic Oh, this is a story 'bout a guy named Al And he lived in a sewer with his hamster pal But the sanitation workers really didn't approve So he packed up his accordion and had to move To a city in Ohio You Don't Love Me Anymore Weird Al Yankovic You Don't Love Me Anymore We've been together for so very long But now things are changing, oh I wonder what's wrong? I Remember Larry Weird Al Yankovic Larry next door Well he always was the neighborhood clown Like the time he pulled my pants off and he took those color pictures And posted copies all over town Or the time that he dumped toxic waste on Alternative Polka Weird Al Yankovic I am I am I am I said I wanna get next to you I said I'm gonna get close to you You wouldn't want me have to hurt you, too Hurt you, too I know what's on my mind I know you like what's on my mind I know Couch Potato Weird Al Yankovic can't believe Richard Simmons ain't in it I'll move right on to "8 Simple Rules For Dating My Teenaged Daughter" Then I bet I watch "The Bachelorette" Followed by "Welcome Back, Kotter" And "The Muppet Couch Potato (Parody of "Lose Yourself" by Eminem) Weird Al Yankovic Yo - remote is ready Eyes wide, palms are sweaty There's Flintstones on the TV already Wilma 'n' Betty No virgin to channel surfin' And I'm HD-ready So I flip - garbage is all I'm getting There's Ebay Weird Al eBay by Al Yankovic NOTE: A special HTML-Links Version of \"eBay\" lyrics is available. Lyrics: Yeah A used ... pink bathrobe A rare ... mint snowglobe A Smurf ... Albuquerque [2] Weird Al Yankovic to justice But first, I decided to buy some donuts So I got in my car and I drove over to the donut shop And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?" Word Crimes Weird Al Yankovic think it's a Good time To learn some grammar Now, did I stammer Work on that grammar You should know when It's less or it's fewer Like people who were Never raised in a sewer I hate these word crimes Like Ebay Weird Al Yankovic TV tray I bought on eBay My house ... is filled with this crap Shows up in bubble wrap Most every day What I bought on eBay Tell me why (I need another pet rock) Tell me why (I got that Alf Ebay (Parody of "I Want It That Way" by the Backstreet Boys) Weird Al Yankovic TV tray I bought on eBay My house ... is filled with this crap Shows up in bubble wrap Most every day What I bought on eBay Tell me why (I need another pet rock) Tell me why (I got that Alf alarm Gotta Boogie Weird Al Yankovic Gotta boogie Gotta boogie Gotta boogie Gotta boogie Gotta boogie (gotta boogie) Gotta boogie (gotta boogie) Gotta boogie (gotta boogie) Gotta boogie on my finger and I can't shake it off Well Jackson Park Express Weird Al Yankovic the aisle I knew we had a special connection The second I saw her smile She smiled as if to say Hello, Haven't seen you on this bus before I gave her a look that said Huh, Life is funny, you never know Skipper Dan Weird Al Yankovic I starred in every high school play Blew every drama teacher away I graduated first in my class at Juilliard Took every acting workshop I could And I dreamed of Hollywood While I read my Uta Hagen and First World Problems Weird Al Yankovic My maid is cleaning my bathroom, so I can't take a shower When I do, the water starts getting cold after an hour I couldn't order off the breakfast menu, cause I slept in till two Then I filled up on bread Craigslist Weird Al Yankovic You've got a 65 Chevy Malibu With automatic drive, a custom paint job too I'll trade you for my old wheelbarrow And a slightly-used sombrero And I'll even throw in a stapler, if you insist Craigslist I'm on Another One Rides the Bus Weird Al Yankovic And another comes on, And another comes on. Another one rides the bus-ah. Hey! He's gonna sit by you. Another one rides the bus. There's a suitcase pokin' me in the ribs. Cable TV Weird Al Yankovic me up and plugged me right in And now I got cable TV And now I get to watch the stock report in Korean Midget wrestling on channel three It costs me fifty bucks a month just to see 'em Yeah, but Fat Weird Al Yankovic Your butt is wide, well mine is too Just watch your mouth or I'll sit on you The word is out, better treat me right 'Cause I'm the king of cellulite Ham on, ham on, ham on whole wheat, all right Hooked On Polkas Weird Al Yankovic You get me on my knees, Please, baby, please. [State of Shock/The Jacksons,Mick Jagger] She looks so great, everytime I see her face. Talk Soup Weird Al Yankovic I dated Siamese twins I slept with Bigfoot, too Get me on Sally Jesse Put me on Donahue 'Cause I wanna tell the whole world about it Right now My dog's a narcoleptic My mom's a circus freak Since You've Been Gone Weird Al Yankovic Since you've been gone Well, I feel like I've been chewing on tinfoil Since you've been gone It's like I've got a great big mouthful of cod liver oil Oh well, I'm feelin' like I stuck my hand Inside a Airline Amy Weird Al Yankovic Met this pretty young stewardess on a non-stop flight She showed me to my seat and it was love at first sight Now lately I've been flying to all kinds of places That I never really wanted to go ' Alimony Weird Al Yankovic (cheering) Here she comes now, wants her alimony Bleedin' me dry as a bony bony Workin' three jobs just to stay in debt now Well, first she took my nest egg then she took the nest I said yeah Velvet Elvis Weird Al Yankovic My life, it used to be incomplete, Till I saw what I was looking for at a drive-in swap meet. My life it won't be the same again. Now I'm proud to say the king lives on inside my den.