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Genius In France Weird Al Yankovic By Al Yankovic I'm not the brightest crayon in the box Everyone says I'm dumber than a bag of rocks I barely even know how to put on my own pants But I'm a genius in France (yeah), genius in France CNR Weird Al Yankovic Charles Nelson Reilly was a mighty man The kind of man you'd never disrespect He stood eight feet tall, wore glasses, and had a third nipple on the back of his neck He ate his own weight in coal, excreted Traffic Jam Weird Al Yankovic ) right here (right here) Stuck right here in the middle of this... The Weird Al Show Theme Yankovic, "Weird Al" Oh, this is a story 'bout a guy named Al And he lived in a sewer with his hamster pal But the sanitation workers really didn't approve So he packed up his accordion and had to move To a city in Ohio The Weird Al Show Theme "Weird Al" Yankovic Oh, this is a story 'bout a guy named Al And he lived in a sewer with his hamster pal But the sanitation workers really didn't approve So he packed up his accordion and had to move To a city in Ohio Ebay Weird Al eBay by Al Yankovic NOTE: A special HTML-Links Version of \"eBay\" lyrics is available. Lyrics: Yeah A used ... pink bathrobe A rare ... mint snowglobe A Smurf ... Livin' In The Fridge Weird Al Yankovic There's something weird in the fridge today I don't know what it is Food I can't recognize My roommate won't throw a thing away I guess it's probably his It looks like it's alive... Callin` In Sick Weird Al Yankovic Hey I'm callin' in sick today Callin' in sick today I could shine my pennies or clean my lava lamp I could spend all day in my underwear watching "Ernest Goes to Camp" I could sit and count my hair Amish Paradise Weird Al Yankovic churned butter once or twice Living in an Amish paradise It's hard work and sacrifice Living in an Amish paradise We sell quilts at discount price Living in an Amish paradise A local boy kicked Stuck In A Closet With Vanna White Weird Al Yankovic First I'm goin' shoppin' in my underwear, Then all of sudden I'm floating in mid air. My lips fall off and everybody starts to stare. Donuts and hot dogs are flying everywhere. Night Santa Went Crazy Weird Al Yankovic Down in the workshop all the elves were makin' toys For the good Gentile girls and the good Gentile boys When the boss busted in, nearly scared 'em half to death Had a rifle in his hands and cheap weenie in a bottle Weird Al Yankovic now I can't get it out (stuck my weenie in a bottle today, gonna shove it up all the way, I stuck my weenie in a bottle, oh no, i can't, just can't, someone help me out) Its turning purple, all Nature Trail to Hell Weird Al Yankovic There's a homicidal maniac who finds a Cub Scout troop, And he hacks up two or three in every scene. Please don't reveal the secret ending to your friends. Don't spoil the big surprise. Spam Weird Al Yankovic ./1988] Spam in the place where I live. (ham and pork) Think about nutrition, wonder what's inside it now. (oh boy) Spam in my lunchbox at work. Dead Car Battery Blues Weird Al Yankovic One, two, a-one, two, three, four Well I, can't go to the park I can't go to work I can't do nothin' I gotta stay in my house like a jerk How come I always lose My car has blown a fuse Oh The White Stuff Weird Al Yankovic The first one was a sweet one Second one was a blast Soon I finished off the bag, ate 'em up real fast You can see 'em in my teeth Tell it when I talk Had so many my pancreas just went into shock The Biggest Ball Of Twine In Minnesota Weird Al Yankovic this great big world, now Where'd you like to go ta" They said, "Dad, we wanna see the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota" They picked the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota So the very next day Lame Claim To Fame Weird Al Yankovic One time I was in the checkout line Behind Steven Seagal Once I'm pretty sure Mr Jonah Hill Was in the very next bathroom stall My best friend's brother Well, he was an extra in Wayne's World 2 My neighbour's Carnival of the Animals Part Two, Introduction Weird Al Yankovic This is a new composition which features A random assortment of all living creatures You'll find that it's not quite exactly the same As the one by Camille Saint what's-his-name Camille, in his Belvedere Cruising Weird Al Yankovic Now, I don't think that I could hack Drivin' a big white Cadillac With ripped up upholstery and unnecessary frills No, I don't think that I could bear Drivin' somethin' other than a Belvedere In Another One Rides the Bus Weird Al Yankovic [Another One Bites The Dust/Queen/1980] Ridin' in a bus down the boulevard, And the place was pretty packed. Couldn't find a seat, so I had to stand, With the perverts in the back. Midnight Star Weird Al Yankovic I was waiting in the express lane with my twelve items or less, At the checkout counter at the local grocery store. First World Problems Weird Al Yankovic My maid is cleaning my bathroom, so I can't take a shower When I do, the water starts getting cold after an hour I couldn't order off the breakfast menu, cause I slept in till two Then I filled up on bread Flatbush Avenue Weird Al Yankovic Oy Oy Down on the street they got bagels And there's a sale on cream cheese and lox Nosh on some blintzes and bratwurst Not in the mood for Jack-In-The-Box Oy vey We gonna schlepp on through Ode To A Superhero (Parody of "Piano Man" by Billy Joel) Weird Al Yankovic and now Peter crawls over everyone's walls And he's swingin' all over town La li la, li de da La la, li le la da dum Sling us a web, you're the Spider-Man Sling us a web tonight 'Cause we're all in Do I Creep You Out Weird Al Yankovic can surely tell No one will ever Love you like I do I like to feel The warm spot on your chair Sometimes I drool And usually I stare My precious one I saved that gum That you threw in 'Frank's 2000'' TV' Weird Al Yankovic blocking out the noonday sun It dwarfs the mighty redwoods and it towers over everyone I still remember when that delivery truck came down our block What a lucky guy, I hear he got the last one in Good Old Days Weird Al Yankovic some times I think back to when I was younger Life was so much simpler then Dad would be up at dawn He'd be watering the lawn Or maybe going fishing again Oh and mom would be fixing up something in One More Minute Weird Al Yankovic heard that you're leavin', Gonna leave me far behind, 'Cause you found a brand new lover, You decided that I'm not your kind, So I pulled your name out of my Rolodex, And I tore all your pictures in Ringtone Weird Al Yankovic Once, not very long ago, I was respected, I was popular (popular, ooh) But now I hang my head in shame (ahh, ooh) My life is filled with such regret A bad mistake I can't forget And now I'll never be the