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Everything You Know Is Wrong Weird Al Yankovic you know is wrong Black is white, up is down and short is long And everything you thought was just so Important doesn't matter Everything you know is wrong Just forget the words and sing along Dead Car Battery Blues Weird Al Yankovic work I can't do nothin' I gotta stay in my house like a jerk How come I always lose My car has blown a fuse Oh yeah I got hydraulic fluid leakin' in my shoes And the dead car battery blues You Don't Download This Song Weird Al Yankovic with your car So don't download this song The record store's where you belong Go and buy the CD like you know that you should Oh, don't download this song Oh, you don't wanna mess with the RIAA Alternative Polka Weird Al Yankovic I am I am I am I said I wanna get next to you I said I'm gonna get close to you You wouldn't want me have to hurt you, too Hurt you, too I know what's on my mind I know you like what's on my mind I know Toothless People Weird Al Yankovic Toothless people...their breath is lethal, wanna tell you Hey...come on! Stand up...get on your feet! You Don't Love Me Anymore Weird Al Yankovic You Don't Love Me Anymore We've been together for so very long But now things are changing, oh I wonder what's wrong? Livin' In The Fridge Weird Al Yankovic There's something weird in the fridge today I don't know what it is Food I can't recognize My roommate won't throw a thing away I guess it's probably his It looks like it's alive... Fat Weird Al Yankovic Your butt is wide, well mine is too Just watch your mouth or I'll sit on you The word is out, better treat me right 'Cause I'm the king of cellulite Ham on, ham on, ham on whole wheat, all right Baby Likes Burping Weird Al Yankovic You know my baby likes burping You know my baby's kinda nauseating [burps] My little vulgar one is so gross 'Cause when I hold her in my arms so close she goes [burps] And out in public it's Do I Creep You Out Weird Al Yankovic I know that you Don't know me very well We've barely met But I can surely tell No one will ever Love you like I do I like to feel The warm spot on your chair Sometimes I drool And usually Night Santa Went Crazy Weird Al Yankovic Nick went insane Realized he'd been gettin' the wrong deal Something finally must have snapped in his brain Well, the workshop is gone now he decided to bomb it Everywhere you'll find pieces of Cupid Midnight Star Weird Al Yankovic It said, "The ghost of Elvis is living in my den. You can learn to cope with stress, And you can beat the IRS, And the incredible frog boy is on the loose again!" Oh, Midnight Star! King of Suede Weird Al Yankovic Just a Visa or Mastercard is all you need. We've got every color, we've got ev'ry shade. We're located next door to Willy's Fun Arcade. Waffle King Weird Al Yankovic All you peons better scram Out of my way now, you worthless piece of scum Don't you know who I am? Hey! I wanna see you grovel, you waffle-eatin' fools Everybody on your Knees! Confessions Part III Weird Al Yankovic now I'll give you part three of my confessions Now this gon' be the hardest thing I think I ever had to do Gonna tell you everything I left out of parts one and two Like, remember when I told you that When I Was Your Age Weird Al Yankovic Let me tell you, sonny. Handy Weird Al Yankovic when your disposal is rusted rusted Termite problem making you disgusted yuck When your front window is busted hey hey hey Just one man that's always trusted I'm so handy, you already know I'll fix your Albuquerque [1] Weird Al Yankovic Way back when I was just a little bitty boy living in a box under the stairs in the corner of the basement half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop You know the place well anyway, back then Money For Nothing/Beverly Hillbillies Weird Al Yankovic You know somethin', that poor mountaineer, They say he barely kept his family fed. Now lemme tell ya, one day he was shootin'. Ol' Jed was shootin' at some food. Peter and the Wolf Weird Al Yankovic This is a story that I like to call, ``Peter and the Wolf''. Are you sitting comfortably? Are you!? Good, then let's begin.... Amoeba Weird Al Yankovic The Amoeba is so small you need A microscope to see one It hurts the eyes, but I'll concede, I'd rather see then be one They never sing or laugh or talk Or eat fondeaux or ciche And if you take Why Does This Always Happen To Ne Weird Al Yankovic By Al Yankovic I was watching my TV one night when they broke in with a special report About some devastating earthquake in Peru There were thirty thousand crushed to death, even more were buried Why Does This Always Happen To Me? Weird Al Yankovic " What a drag, 'cause I was taping it and everything And now I'll have to wait for the rerun to see the part of the show I missed Why does this always happen... Trapped In The Drive - Thru Weird Al Yankovic I said "Well you know, baby, I'm not starvin' either But I could eat." She said "So whadya have in mind?" I said "I don't know what about you?" Alimony Weird Al Yankovic ), debt (debt), debt (debt), debt (debt) Lawyer's callin' me on the telephony Tryin' to squeeze some blood from a stonee-stony Ooh, I took her for better or for worse, yeah Then she took me for everything Smells Like Nirvana Weird Al Yankovic Smells Like Nirvana [Smells Like Teen Spirit/Kurt Cobain,Nirvana/1991] What is this song all about? Can't figure any lyrics out How do the words to it go? Wanna B Ur Lovr Weird Al Yankovic WANNA BE UR LOVR By Al Yankovic I don't have a library card But do you mind if I check you out? Airline Amy Weird Al Yankovic was love at first sight Now lately I've been flying to all kinds of places That I never really wanted to go 'Cause I'll do anything just to spend a little time With the sutest flight attendant I know Polka Power "Weird Al" Yankovic Yeah, I'll tell ya what I want, what I really really want So tell us what you want, what you really really want I'll tell ya what I want, what I really really want So tell us what you want, what you Phony Calls Weird Al Yankovic Mom and dad are goin' out for the evening And you're stuck inside the house all alone That's when you decide it might be fun to harrassomeone Dial a random number up on your telephone You ask if their