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Dare To Be Stupid Weird Al Yankovic Dare to be stupid Come on and dare to be stupid It's so easy to do Dare to be stupid We're all waiting for you Let's go It's time to make a mountain out of a molehill So can I have a volunteer Ringtone Weird Al Yankovic Once, not very long ago, I was respected, I was popular (popular, ooh) But now I hang my head in shame (ahh, ooh) My life is filled with such regret A bad mistake I can't forget And now I'll never be the Gump Weird Al Yankovic Gump was a big celebrity He told JFK that he really had to pee He never feels too dumb because His mom always told him stupid is as stupid does He's Gump, He's Gump He's kinda square He's Gump, He's Gump Wanna B Ur Lovr Weird Al Yankovic WANNA BE UR LOVR By Al Yankovic I don't have a library card But do you mind if I check you out? I Can't Watch This Weird Al Yankovic I can't watch this Cosby Show and Rosanne Think I've taken 'bout as much as I can Judge Wopner, oh my You gotta be Rainman to like this guy Thirtysomething is alright If you like hearing Canadian Idiot Weird Al Yankovic Weird Al Yankovic-Canadian Idiot Don't want to be a Canadian idiot 캐나다 바보가 되고 싶지 않아 Don't want to be some beer-swillin' hockey nut 맥주만 줄창 쳐마시는 하키 또라이가 되고 싶지 않아 and do I look like some frost Trapped In The Drive - Thru Weird Al Yankovic Well I was gonna say something But my cell phone started to ring Now who could be callin' me? Well I checked my caller ID It was just cousin Larry Callin' for the third time today... Germs "Weird Al" Yankovic Sometimes I really want to be alone But that's one state I'm never in Because I know that I've got millions upon millions Of tiny, one-celled organisms living on my skin (Germs) I rub and scrub Word Crimes Weird Al Yankovic I hate these word crimes Like I could care less That means you do care At least a little Don't be a moron You'd better slow down And use the right pronoun Show the world you're no clown Everybody wise Your Horoscope For Today "Weird Al" Yankovic Aquarius There's travel in your future when your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus Fill that void in your life by playing Whack-A-Mole seventeen hours a day Pisces Try to avoid any Virgos I'm So Sick Of You Weird Al Yankovic make-up's crusty I don't know too many females Who make a habit of biting their toenails Wo, every time you call you drive me up the wall Honey just the sight of you makes my flesh crawl I'm sure we'd be Belvedere Cruising Weird Al Yankovic Now, you won't find me braggin' 'Bout my big green station wagon Or tellin' 'bout the traffic laws I'm breakin' Everybody knows that I wouldn't dare Match my wits with a red Corvair And just the Genius In France Weird Al Yankovic By Al Yankovic I'm not the brightest crayon in the box Everyone says I'm dumber than a bag of rocks I barely even know how to put on my own pants But I'm a genius in France (yeah), genius in France Peter and the Wolf Weird Al Yankovic The part of the Grandfather will be played by Don Amiche. He... what? Can't make it? Oh. Huh. Okay, um, hmm, in that case, the part of the Grandfather will be played by, huh, a bassoon.... Confessions Part III Weird Al Yankovic Watch this These are my confessions Just when I thought I said all I can say I came up with more secrets to tell you today These are my confessions Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me So Generic Blues Weird Al Yankovic I woke up this morning Then I went back to bed Said I woke up this morning Then I went right back to bed Got a funny kind of feelin' like I got broken glass in my underwear And a herd of wild pigs Achy Breaky Song Weird Al Yankovic your Abba records until dawn Oh, I can even hear Slim Whitman or Zamfir Don't mind a Yoko Ono marathon Or play some Tiffany On 8-track or CD Or scrape your fingernails across the board Or tie me to Melanie Weird Al Yankovic I knew she had to be the girl for me, and to think I probably never would have found her, If I hadn't bought that telescope. Me-he-he-helanie, What can the problem be? The Saga Begins Yankovic, "Weird Al" kill us We escaped from that gas Then met Jar Jar and Boss Nass We took a bongo from the scene And we went to Theed to see the Queen We all wound up on Tatooine That's where we found this boy... The Saga Begins "Weird Al" Yankovic kill us We escaped from that gas Then met Jar Jar and Boss Nass We took a bongo from the scene And we went to Theed to see the Queen We all wound up on Tatooine That's where we found this boy... Born To Be Mild Weird Al Yankovic Get your program running Head out to the center Terminals are waiting For the data that you'll enter Everybody says that you're a nerd, but They should know that you just don't care Got your Amoeba Weird Al Yankovic The Amoeba is so small you need A microscope to see one It hurts the eyes, but I'll concede, I'd rather see then be one They never sing or laugh or talk Or eat fondeaux or ciche And if you take Syndicated Inc. Weird Al Yankovic My whole family Loves Three's Company See the reruns constantly There on my TV Syndicated Incorporated Well, I know what's on the tube I know just what to see Got my TV Guide with me MASH and All In weenie in a bottle Weird Al Yankovic No-one wanted to be with me, had to make my dream come true I wanted to hump something, I didn't know what to do It seemed like a good idea, and no-one else was around I stuck my weenie in a bottle, and Polka Party! Weird Al Yankovic I want to be: your sledgehammer. I can be your friend. I want to be your sledgehammer. This can be your testimony, yeah. The Weird Al Show Theme Yankovic, "Weird Al" Oh, this is a story 'bout a guy named Al And he lived in a sewer with his hamster pal But the sanitation workers really didn't approve So he packed up his accordion and had to move To a city in Ohio The Weird Al Show Theme "Weird Al" Yankovic Oh, this is a story 'bout a guy named Al And he lived in a sewer with his hamster pal But the sanitation workers really didn't approve So he packed up his accordion and had to move To a city in Ohio Buckingham Blues Weird Al Yankovic Chuckie wants to grow up and be a polo star, And ride his little horsies all around the backyard. (oh yeah) You know they really paid their dues. Velvet Elvis Weird Al Yankovic My life, it used to be incomplete, Till I saw what I was looking for at a drive-in swap meet. My life it won't be the same again. Now I'm proud to say the king lives on inside my den. Phony Calls Weird Al Yankovic Mom and dad are goin' out for the evening And you're stuck inside the house all alone That's when you decide it might be fun to harrassomeone Dial a random number up on your telephone You ask if their