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Christmas at Ground Zero Weird Al Yankovic It's Christmas at Ground Zero There's music in the air The sleigh bells are ringin' and the carolers are singin' While the air raid sirens blare It's Christmas at Ground Zero The button has been Spatula City Weird Al Yankovic Where do you go when you want to buy name brand spatulas at a fraction of retail cost? Spatula City! Spatula City! And this weekend only, take advantage of our special liquidation sale. Nature Trail to Hell Weird Al Yankovic Coming this Christmas to a theatre near you, The most horrifying film to hit the screen. There's a homicidal maniac who finds a Cub Scout troop, And he hacks up two or three in every scene. Money For Nothing/Beverly Hillbillies Weird Al Yankovic Ol' Jed was shootin' at some food. When all of a sudden, right up from the ground there, Well, there came a bubblin' crude. Oil, that is. Well, maybe you call it Black gold or Texas tea. I'll Sue Ya Weird Al Yankovic I sued Neman Markus cuz they put up their christmas decorations way outta season! I sued Ben Affleck.. aww do I even need a reason? Uh! If I sprain my ankle when I'm robbin' your place! Night Santa Went Crazy Weird Al Yankovic hands and cheap whiskey on his breath From his beard to his boots he was covered with ammo Like a big fat drunk disgruntled Yuletide Rambo And he smiled as he said with a twinkle in his eye, "Merry Christmas Party Dt The Leper Colony Weird Al Yankovic PARTY AT THE LEPER COLONY by Al Yankovic Finger food and an ice cold keg It won't cost you an arm and a leg Dance all night to a rotten band Come on, people, let's give 'em a hand Saturday night Party at the leper colony Weird Al Yankovic and an ice cold keg It won't cost you an arm and a leg Dance all night to a rotten band Come on, people, let's give 'em a hand Saturday night, it's the place to be Everybody cut footloose with me At Genius In France Weird Al Yankovic By Al Yankovic I'm not the brightest crayon in the box Everyone says I'm dumber than a bag of rocks I barely even know how to put on my own pants But I'm a genius in France (yeah), genius in France Ringtone Weird Al Yankovic I just can't imagine now what I was thinking at all (What was I thinking?) When I Was Your Age Weird Al Yankovic today You just don't appreciate all the things you've got We were hungry, broke and miserable And we liked it better that way There were seventythree of us living in a cardboard box All I got for Christmas Spam Weird Al Yankovic (oh boy) Spam in my lunchbox at work. (it's the best) Really makes a darn good sandwich, any way you slice it at all. If you're running low, go to the store. White And Nerdy Weird Al Yankovic They see me mowin' My front lawn I know they're all thinking I'm so White N' nerdy Think I'm just too white n' nerdy Think I'm just too white n' nerdy Can't you see I'm white n' nerdy Look at Livin' In The Fridge Weird Al Yankovic There's something weird in the fridge today I don't know what it is Food I can't recognize My roommate won't throw a thing away I guess it's probably his It looks like it's alive... Fatter Weird Al Yankovic Fatter, fatter Shake 'n Bake, fatter Shake 'n Bake, fatter Fatter Corndogs, pizza, Coca Cola Yogurt, butterscotch, granola Look at me, I'm fatter I'm fatter, I'm fatter Friends all gather Lame Claim To Fame Weird Al Yankovic in the very next bathroom stall My best friend's brother Well, he was an extra in Wayne's World 2 My neighbour's baby sitter Dated three of the guys in Motley Crue I swear Jack Nicholson Looked right at CNR Weird Al Yankovic Match Game give him a piggyback ride Yeah, two hour piggyback ride, giddy up Gene Ninja warrior, master of disguise He could melt your brain with his laser-beam eyes, Oh yeah Oh yeah He had his own line at Velvet Elvis Weird Al Yankovic My life, it used to be incomplete, Till I saw what I was looking for at a drive-in swap meet. My life it won't be the same again. Now I'm proud to say the king lives on inside my den. Craigslist Weird Al Yankovic trade you for my old wheelbarrow And a slightly-used sombrero And I'll even throw in a stapler, if you insist Craigslist I'm on Craigslist, baby, come on Yeah Well, we shared a quick glance Saturday at Tacky Weird Al Yankovic me shame, I said because I'm tacky 43 Bumper Stickers and a YOLO license plate because I'm tacky Bring along my coupon book whenever I'm on a date because I'm tacky Practice my twerking moves in line at Phony Calls Weird Al Yankovic fast Little Melvin has a natural obsession Askin' for Prince Albert in a can He gets a kick each time he makes a collect call To some guy he doesn't know who lives in Japan He's callin' strangers up at Amish Paradise Weird Al Yankovic As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain But that's just perfect for an Amish like me You know, I shun fancy things like electricity Skipper Dan Weird Al Yankovic I starred in every high school play Blew every drama teacher away I graduated first in my class at Juilliard Took every acting workshop I could And I dreamed of Hollywood While I read my Uta Hagen and Jackson Park Express Weird Al Yankovic say Hello, Haven't seen you on this bus before I gave her a look that said Huh, Life is funny, you never know what's in store By the way, your hair is beautiful I bet it smells like raisins She looked at Mission Statement Weird Al Yankovic awareness of functionality Promoting viability Providing our supply chain with diversity versity, ooooh We will distill our identity Through client centric solutions And synergy Oooooh oooh oooh Ahhhhhh At The Biggest Ball Of Twine In Minnesota Weird Al Yankovic Well, I had two weeks of vacation time coming After working all year down at Big Roy's Eating And Plumbing So one night when my family the I were gathered 'round the dinner table I said, "Kids, if Toothless People Weird Al Yankovic Toothless people...old and feeble, what I say No more of those pearly whites will they possess Their oral hygiene is frightful...a mess Lots of 'em suffering from trench mouth and gum disease At Trapped In The Drive - Thru Weird Al Yankovic Almost there at the drive-thru Now we're here at the drive thru Here in line at the drive-thru Did I mention the drive-thru? Well here we are In the drive-thru line, me and her. That Boy Could Dance Weird Al Yankovic call him Jimmy the Geek He was a dumb-lookin', scrawny, little four-eyed freak He never used to hang around with the guys He'd just sit in the corner, attractin' the flies He wasn't much to look at Free Delivery Weird Al Yankovic Late at night, you're hungry You're craving some pizza Let me be the one that you call Olive or anchovy Perhaps pepperoni Anything you want, we've got it all Near, far, I'll jump in my car