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Carnival of the Animals Part Two, Introduction Weird Al Yankovic This is a new composition which features A random assortment of all living creatures You'll find that it's not quite exactly the same As the one by Camille Saint what's-his-name Camille, in his Confessions Part III Weird Al Yankovic now I gotta give you part three of my confessions First I told you 'bout the skank that I was cheatin' with (with) Then I mentioned she's havin' my kid That's not all, now I recall more, you see So Nature Trail to Hell Weird Al Yankovic Coming this Christmas to a theatre near you, The most horrifying film to hit the screen. There's a homicidal maniac who finds a Cub Scout troop, And he hacks up two or three in every scene. Peter and the Wolf Weird Al Yankovic Each character is represented by a different instrument of the synthesized orchestra. For instance, the part of Billy the Bird is played by a flute, like this... One More Minute Weird Al Yankovic pictures in two, And I burned down the malt shop where we used to go, Just because it reminds me of you. CNR Weird Al Yankovic Charles Nelson Reilly was a mighty man The kind of man you'd never disrespect He stood eight feet tall, wore glasses, and had a third nipple on the back of his neck He ate his own weight in coal, excreted The White Stuff Weird Al Yankovic [You Got It (The Right Stuff)/New Kids On The Block/1988] The white stuff. The white stuff. Dog Eat Dog Weird Al Yankovic corporate ladder Watch out...It's dog eat dog Nose against the grindstone, it feels all right Watch out...Well, it's dog eat dog Here we go I love to watch my boss get angry So I can count the Jerry Springer "Weird Al" Yankovic with the implants She likes to lap dance And date the boyfriend of her mother Now here come's Jerry's next guest And it's a slugfest 'Cause it's her trailer trash brother Nymphomaniac is back on Inactive Weird Al Yankovic I'm waking up in Cheeto dust My belly's covered with pizza crust I'm using my inhaler now wheezes I'm out of shape, fattening up I'm sipping Coke from a solo cup Donut crumbs are upon my lips, whoa The Ebay Weird Al eBay by Al Yankovic NOTE: A special HTML-Links Version of \"eBay\" lyrics is available. Lyrics: Yeah A used ... pink bathrobe A rare ... mint snowglobe A Smurf ... Polka Party! Weird Al Yankovic [Party All the Time/Eddie Murphy] And my girl wants to Party all the time, party all the time, party all the time. And my girl want to Party all the time, party all the time. Craigslist Weird Al Yankovic trade you for my old wheelbarrow And a slightly-used sombrero And I'll even throw in a stapler, if you insist Craigslist I'm on Craigslist, baby, come on Yeah Well, we shared a quick glance Saturday at the King of Suede Weird Al Yankovic We got every fabric that was ever made, But I'm known in this city as the King of Suede. We got portly and regular and extra-long. (Is my size up there?) Albuquerque [2] Weird Al Yankovic He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels" I said "OK, I'll take that" So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out And they immediately Since You've Been Gone Weird Al Yankovic Since you've been gone Well, I feel like I've been chewing on tinfoil Since you've been gone It's like I've got a great big mouthful of cod liver oil Oh well, I'm feelin' like I stuck my hand Inside a 'Frank's 2000'' TV' Weird Al Yankovic Frank's 2000" TV Risin' above the city, blocking out the noonday sun It dwarfs the mighty redwoods and it towers over everyone I still remember when that delivery truck came down our block What Ebay Weird Al Yankovic " they all say They love me on eBay Gonna buy (a slightly-damaged golf bag) Gonna buy (some Beanie Babies, new with tag) (From some guy) I've never met in Norway Found him on eBay I am the Ebay (Parody of "I Want It That Way" by the Backstreet Boys) Weird Al Yankovic they all say They love me on eBay Gonna buy (a slightly-damaged golf bag) Gonna buy (some Beanie Babies, new with tag) (From some guy) I've never met in Norway Found him on eBay I am the type who Yoda Weird Al Yankovic [Lola/The Kinks/1970] I met him in a swamp down in Dagobah where it bubbles all the time like a giant carbonated soda, S O D A, soda. I saw the little runt/wimp sitting there on a log. Why Does This Always Happen To Ne Weird Al Yankovic By Al Yankovic I was watching my TV one night when they broke in with a special report About some devastating earthquake in Peru There were thirty thousand crushed to death, even more were buried Why Does This Always Happen To Me? Weird Al Yankovic Why'd they have to interrupt The Simpsons just for this? Trapped In The Drive - Thru Weird Al Yankovic Cars in front of us, cars in back of us. First World Problems Weird Al Yankovic My maid is cleaning my bathroom, so I can't take a shower When I do, the water starts getting cold after an hour I couldn't order off the breakfast menu, cause I slept in till two Then I filled up on bread Germs "Weird Al" Yankovic Sometimes I really want to be alone But that's one state I'm never in Because I know that I've got millions upon millions Of tiny, one-celled organisms living on my skin (Germs) I rub and scrub Like A Surgeon Weird Al Yankovic I'm just an intern, I still make a mistake or two. I was last in the class, Barely passed at the institute. Now I'm tryin' to avoid Yeah, I'm tryin' to avoid A malpractice suit. When I Was Your Age Weird Al Yankovic everything handed to you on a silver plate You lazy brats think nothing's good enough Well, nobody ever drove me to school when it was ninety degrees below We had to walk butt naked through forty miles of Jackson Park Express Weird Al Yankovic better Than the rest of your face I arched my eyebrow, ever so slightly Which was my way of asking Do you want my old Hewlett Packard printer It still works, Kinda And I got a bunch of ink cartridges Stuck In A Closet With Vanna White Weird Al Yankovic Doctor, every night I have the strangest dreams. Doctor, listen to me, tell me what this means. First I'm goin' shoppin' in my underwear, Then all of sudden I'm floating in mid air. Taco Grande Weird Al Yankovic whole enchilada My only addiction has to do with flour tortilla I need a quesadilla I love to stuff my face with tacos al carbon With my friends or when I'm all alone Yo tengo mucho hambre y