Callin` In Sick Weird Al Yankovic

Hey I'm callin' in sick today Callin' in sick today I could shine my pennies or clean my lava lamp I could spend all day in my underwear watching "Ernest Goes to Camp" I could sit and count my hair

Callin' In Sick Weird Al Yankovic

Hey I'm callin' in sick today Callin' in sick today I could shine my pennies or clean my lava lamp I could spend all day in my underwear watching "Ernest Goes to Camp" I could sit and count my hair I could

I'm So Sick Of You Weird Al Yankovic

of you What are you, in kindergarten You're belchin' everywhere, foulin'up the air Then you use my razor to shave your back hair You don't have an ounce of class You're just one big pain in the neck

Phony Calls Weird Al Yankovic

to harrassomeone Dial a random number up on your telephone You ask if their refrigerator is running Then you tell 'em they should go out and catch it Buddy, if they ever figured out where you were callin

Baby Likes Burping Weird Al Yankovic

You know my baby likes burping You know my baby's kinda nauseating [burps] My little vulgar one is so gross 'Cause when I hold her in my arms so close she goes [burps] And out in public it's

Alimony Weird Al Yankovic

(cheering) Here she comes now, wants her alimony Bleedin' me dry as a bony bony Workin' three jobs just to stay in debt now Well, first she took my nest egg then she took the nest I said yeah

Living With a Hernia Weird Al Yankovic

[Living in America/James Brown/1985] All I do is grunt and groan Hurts me to walk anywhere Went to see my physician, Dr.

Ringtone Weird Al Yankovic

Once, not very long ago, I was respected, I was popular (popular, ooh) But now I hang my head in shame (ahh, ooh) My life is filled with such regret A bad mistake I can't forget And now I'll never be the

Polka Power "Weird Al" Yankovic

I'm not sick, but I'm not well And I'm so hot, 'cause I'm in hell I'm not sick, but I'm not well And it's a sin (yes it's a sin) to live so well Ghetto superstar - that is what you are Coming from

I Can't Watch This Weird Al Yankovic

I can't watch this Talkin' 'bout sick shows Tere's America's Funniest Home Videos I can't believe my eyes When I see the kind of stuff that wins first prize Somebody's poor old mom Falls

Skipper Dan Weird Al Yankovic

I starred in every high school play Blew every drama teacher away I graduated first in my class at Juilliard Took every acting workshop I could And I dreamed of Hollywood While I read my Uta Hagen and

Ricky Weird Al Yankovic

You wake up little Ricky In the middle of the night. Stop shakin' your maracas now, And just turn out the light, Ricky!

Trapped In The Drive - Thru Weird Al Yankovic

Seven O'Clock in the evening Watchin somethin' stupid on TV I'm zoned out on the sofa When my wife comes in the room and sees me And she says "Is this 'Behind the Music' With Lynard Skynard?"

Confessions Part III Weird Al Yankovic

Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me Now I guess I gotta give you part three of my confessions, oh, oh Threw up on your dog the last time I had too much to drink There've been times I've peed in

She Never Told Me She Was a Mime Weird Al Yankovic

Ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-mime I wish we both could just talk it all over But my baby won't even make a sound Now she makes everybody sick Doin' that pantomime shtick Even our old friends

The Weird Al Show Theme Yankovic, "Weird Al"

Oh, this is a story 'bout a guy named Al And he lived in a sewer with his hamster pal But the sanitation workers really didn't approve So he packed up his accordion and had to move To a city in Ohio

The Weird Al Show Theme "Weird Al" Yankovic

Oh, this is a story 'bout a guy named Al And he lived in a sewer with his hamster pal But the sanitation workers really didn't approve So he packed up his accordion and had to move To a city in Ohio

Livin' In The Fridge Weird Al Yankovic

There's something weird in the fridge today I don't know what it is Food I can't recognize My roommate won't throw a thing away I guess it's probably his It looks like it's alive...

Genius In France Weird Al Yankovic

By Al Yankovic I'm not the brightest crayon in the box Everyone says I'm dumber than a bag of rocks I barely even know how to put on my own pants But I'm a genius in France (yeah), genius in France

Amish Paradise Weird Al Yankovic

churned butter once or twice Living in an Amish paradise It's hard work and sacrifice Living in an Amish paradise We sell quilts at discount price Living in an Amish paradise A local boy kicked

Stuck In A Closet With Vanna White Weird Al Yankovic

First I'm goin' shoppin' in my underwear, Then all of sudden I'm floating in mid air. My lips fall off and everybody starts to stare. Donuts and hot dogs are flying everywhere.

Ebay Weird Al

eBay by Al Yankovic NOTE: A special HTML-Links Version of \"eBay\" lyrics is available. Lyrics: Yeah A used ... pink bathrobe A rare ... mint snowglobe A Smurf ...

Traffic Jam Weird Al Yankovic

And the radio's broke Cars backed up Far as you can see Seems like I've been waiting here for all eternity Oh, and just in case you're wondering I'll tell you where I am I'm right here (right here

Night Santa Went Crazy Weird Al Yankovic

Down in the workshop all the elves were makin' toys For the good Gentile girls and the good Gentile boys When the boss busted in, nearly scared 'em half to death Had a rifle in his hands and cheap

weenie in a bottle Weird Al Yankovic

now I can't get it out (stuck my weenie in a bottle today, gonna shove it up all the way, I stuck my weenie in a bottle, oh no, i can't, just can't, someone help me out) Its turning purple, all

Nature Trail to Hell Weird Al Yankovic

There's a homicidal maniac who finds a Cub Scout troop, And he hacks up two or three in every scene. Please don't reveal the secret ending to your friends. Don't spoil the big surprise.

Spam Weird Al Yankovic

./1988] Spam in the place where I live. (ham and pork) Think about nutrition, wonder what's inside it now. (oh boy) Spam in my lunchbox at work.

Dead Car Battery Blues Weird Al Yankovic

One, two, a-one, two, three, four Well I, can't go to the park I can't go to work I can't do nothin' I gotta stay in my house like a jerk How come I always lose My car has blown a fuse Oh

The White Stuff Weird Al Yankovic

The first one was a sweet one Second one was a blast Soon I finished off the bag, ate 'em up real fast You can see 'em in my teeth Tell it when I talk Had so many my pancreas just went into shock

The Biggest Ball Of Twine In Minnesota Weird Al Yankovic

this great big world, now Where'd you like to go ta" They said, "Dad, we wanna see the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota" They picked the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota So the very next day

Lame Claim To Fame Weird Al Yankovic

One time I was in the checkout line Behind Steven Seagal Once I'm pretty sure Mr Jonah Hill Was in the very next bathroom stall My best friend's brother Well, he was an extra in Wayne's World 2 My neighbour's

Carnival of the Animals Part Two, Introduction Weird Al Yankovic

This is a new composition which features A random assortment of all living creatures You'll find that it's not quite exactly the same As the one by Camille Saint what's-his-name Camille, in his

Belvedere Cruising Weird Al Yankovic

Now, I don't think that I could hack Drivin' a big white Cadillac With ripped up upholstery and unnecessary frills No, I don't think that I could bear Drivin' somethin' other than a Belvedere In

Another One Rides the Bus Weird Al Yankovic

[Another One Bites The Dust/Queen/1980] Ridin' in a bus down the boulevard, And the place was pretty packed. Couldn't find a seat, so I had to stand, With the perverts in the back.

Midnight Star Weird Al Yankovic

I was waiting in the express lane with my twelve items or less, At the checkout counter at the local grocery store.

First World Problems Weird Al Yankovic

My maid is cleaning my bathroom, so I can't take a shower When I do, the water starts getting cold after an hour I couldn't order off the breakfast menu, cause I slept in till two Then I filled up on bread

Flatbush Avenue Weird Al Yankovic

Oy Oy Down on the street they got bagels And there's a sale on cream cheese and lox Nosh on some blintzes and bratwurst Not in the mood for Jack-In-The-Box Oy vey We gonna schlepp on through

Ode To A Superhero (Parody of "Piano Man" by Billy Joel) Weird Al Yankovic

and now Peter crawls over everyone's walls And he's swingin' all over town La li la, li de da La la, li le la da dum Sling us a web, you're the Spider-Man Sling us a web tonight 'Cause we're all in

Do I Creep You Out Weird Al Yankovic

can surely tell No one will ever Love you like I do I like to feel The warm spot on your chair Sometimes I drool And usually I stare My precious one I saved that gum That you threw in

'Frank's 2000'' TV' Weird Al Yankovic

blocking out the noonday sun It dwarfs the mighty redwoods and it towers over everyone I still remember when that delivery truck came down our block What a lucky guy, I hear he got the last one in

Good Old Days Weird Al Yankovic

some times I think back to when I was younger Life was so much simpler then Dad would be up at dawn He'd be watering the lawn Or maybe going fishing again Oh and mom would be fixing up something in

One More Minute Weird Al Yankovic

heard that you're leavin', Gonna leave me far behind, 'Cause you found a brand new lover, You decided that I'm not your kind, So I pulled your name out of my Rolodex, And I tore all your pictures in

Bob Weird Al Yankovic

BOB By Al Yankovic I, man, am regal - a German am I Never odd or even If I had a hi-fi Madam, I'm Adam Too hot to hoot No lemons, no melon Too bad I hid a boot Lisa Bonet ate no basil Warsaw

Jurassic Park Weird Al Yankovic

found those fossilized mosquitoes And before long, they were cloning DNA Now I'm being chased by some irate velociraptors Well, believe me...this has been one lousy day Jurassic Park is frightening in

Gump Weird Al Yankovic

Gump sat alone on a bench in the park My name is Forrest, he'd casually remark Waitin' for the bus with his hands in his pockets He just kept sayin' life is like a box of chocolates He's Gump, He's Gump

Albuquerque [1] Weird Al Yankovic

Way back when I was just a little bitty boy living in a box under the stairs in the corner of the basement half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop You know the place well anyway, back then

Stop Dragging My Car Around Weird Al Yankovic

Then He took me to his little office in the back. He said, "I really like your snaggletooth necklace. Your pants are groovy, and your hair's okay. But, man, that car of yours is so uncool.

Mission Statement Weird Al Yankovic

We must all efficiently Operationalize our strategies Invest in world class technology And leverage our core competencies In order to holistically administrate Exceptional synergy We'll set a brand trajectory

Polkas on 45 Weird Al Yankovic

A fire in the sky. Smoke on the water. [Sex (I'm a...)/Berlin] (I'm a man) I'm a boy. (I'm a man) Well, I'm your mother. (I'm a man) I'm a one-night stand. (I'm a man) Am I by?

Polkarama! Weird Al Yankovic

[Chicken Dance] ["Let's Get it Started" by Black Eyed Peas] Let's get it started (ha) let's get it started in here Let's get it started (ha) let's get it started in here Let's get it started (ha