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The Old Dope Peddler Tom Lehrer When the shades of night are falling, Comes a fellow ev'ryone knows, It's the old dope peddler, Spreading joy wherever he goes. Ev'ry evening you will find him, Around our neighborhood. In Old Mexico Tom Lehrer When it's fiesta time in Guadalajara, Then I long to be back once again In Old Mexico. Where we lived for today, Never giving a thought to tomara. The Wild West Is Where I Want To Be Tom Lehrer Along the trail you'll find me lopin' Where the spaces are wide open, In the land of the old A.E.C. (yahoo!) A Christmas Carol Tom Lehrer Christmas time is here, by golly, Disapproval would be folly, Deck the halls with hunks of holly, Fill the cup and don't say "when". When You Are Old And Gray Tom Lehrer Because I know I'll hate you When you are old and gray. So say you love me here and now, I'll make the most of that. It Makes A Fellow Proud To Be A Soldier Tom Lehrer The heart of every man in our platoon must swell with pride, For the nation's youth, the cream of which is marching at his side. I Wanna Go Back To Dixie Tom Lehrer I wanna go back to Dixie, Take me back to dear ol' DIxie, That's the only li'l ol' place for li'l ol' me. Oedipus Rex Tom Lehrer From the Bible to the popular song, There's one theme that we find right along. Of all ideals they hail as good, The most sublime is Motherhood. We Will All Go Together When We Go Tom Lehrer When you attend a funeral, It is sad to think that sooner or later Those you love will do the same for you. Lobachevsky Tom Lehrer Who made me the genius I am today, The mathematician that others all quote, Who's the professor that made me that way? The greatest that ever got chalk on his coat. The Wiener Schnitzel Waltz Tom Lehrer Do you remember the night I held you so tight, As we danced to the Wiener Schnitzel Waltz? Bright College Days Tom Lehrer Turn on the spigot, Pour the beer and swig it, And gaudeamus igit-ur. Here's to parties we tossed, To the games that we lost, We shall claim that we won them some day. The Irish Ballad Tom Lehrer The water tasted bad for a week, And we had to make do with gin, with gin, We had to make do with gin. The Hunting Song Tom Lehrer I went and shot the maximum the game laws would allow, Two game wardens, seven hunters, and a cow. I was in no mood to trifle, I took down my trusty rifle And went out to stalk my prey. The Masochism Tango Tom Lehrer I ache for the touch of your lips, Dear, But much more for the touch of your whips, Dear. You can raise welts Like nobody else, As we dance to the Masochism Tango. Poisoning Pigeons In The Park Tom Lehrer I think the loveliest time of the year is the spring. I do, don't you? Course you do. But there's one thing that makes spring complete for me, And makes ev'ry Sunday a treat for me. My Home Town Tom Lehrer I remember Dan, the druggist on the corner, 'e Was never mean or ornery, He was swell. Fight Fiercely, Harvard! Tom Lehrer Albeit they possess the might, Nenetheless we have the will. How we shall celebrate our victory, We shall invite the whole team up for tea (How jolly!) Rickety Tickety Tin Tom Lehrer One morning in a fit of pique Sing rickety tickety tin One morning in a fit of pique She drowned her father in the creek The water tasted bad for a week And we had to make do with gin, with gin We Be Prepared Tom Lehrer That's the Boy Scout's marching song, Be prepared! As through life you march along. Be prepared to hold your liquor pretty well, Don't write naughty words on walls if you can't spell. Elements Tom Lehrer These are the only ones of which the news has come to Ha'vard, And there may be many others, but they haven't been discavard. I Hold Your Hand In Mine Tom Lehrer The night you died I cut it off. I really don't know why. For now each time I kiss it I get bloodstains on my tie. Christmas Card from a Hooker in Minneapolis Tom Waits Hey Charlie, I'm pregnant And living on 9th Street Right above a dirty bookstore off Euclid Avenue And I stopped takin’ dope And I quit drinkin’ whiskey And my old man plays the trombone And works Old Boyfriends Tom Waits Old Boyfriends, Lost in the pocket of your overcoat, Like burned out lite bulbs on a Ferris Wheel. Old Boy friends, You remember the kinds of cars they drove, Parking in an orange grove. TOM TOM Iggy And The Stooges hey little one you've got the way i ain't doing nothin' that's so important i'd like to know how you deal oh when i worry to darken if i can't get in your show i'll take my tom tom and go yeah, yeah Tom Tom Iggy Pop Hey little one You've got the way I ain't doing nothin' That's so important I'd like to know how you deal Oh when I worry to darken If I can't get in your show I'll take my tom tom and go Yeah, yeah Yeah Old Man Tom Misch Looking around me I see a new world I used to know Life is a mystery Remember the trips to Bedruthan It feels like days ago Another grey hair Gotta let it go Lately Look in the mirror it's hazy Who is Tom Cat The Rooftop Singers spoken: I've got an old Tom Cat And when he steps out (1) All the other cats in the neighborhood They begin to shout There goes a ring tail Tom Struttin' round the town (2) And if you got Tom Courtenay Yo La Tengo Julie Christie, the rumors are true As the pages turn, my eyes are glued To the movie star and his sordid life Mr. Tom Cat Blues Jorma Kaukonen I got an old tom cat When he steps out All the pussycats in the neighborhood They begin to shout "Here comes Ring Tail Tom He's boss around the town And if you got your heat turned up You better turn your