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The Fairies Came Steve Poltz The Fairies Came I met a boy in a bar last night He smiled and I saw his wiggly tooth I pulled it out put it under his pillow that night The fairies came into his room The fairies came The fairies Rub Somebody (The Right Way) Steve Poltz Rub Somebody (The Right Way) I knew a man who came down from Kentucky And everyone would whisper, "Boy he sure is lucky" He'd go to church every Sunday and have breakfast at Stuckey's He rubbed somebody Silver Lining Steve Poltz Silver Lining Muffin's in the toaster I got my raspberry jam My grandpa was a sailor And he came into this land And he was looking for gold A pretty hand to hold Or some cards to fold At least Hitchhiker Joe Steve Poltz a trunk For ninety-nine years Don't do it now Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom Bom, bom, bom, bom Bom, bom, bom, bom Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom Bom, bom, bom, bom Bom, bom, bom, bom I had a cousin who came The Girl With The Wandering Eye Steve Poltz The Girl With The Wandering Eye Your friend with the subwoofer blew out my tweeter At that biker party downtown But that was OK 'cause he borrowed a fuse From a leather-clad boy in the back And Me and Eddie Vedder Steve Poltz Me and Eddie Vedder Houses of the Holy Was an album by Led Zeppelin I bought it on eight track Not on CD Fades out in the middle The way an eight track's s'posed to The way an eight track's s'posed She Was The Best Steve Poltz She Was The Best She had the lips of a lizard Dry to the kiss They made me sore Dry as an old paperback from the store By Louis L'Amour A western for sure She had the strength of a goat The Holliston Street Steve Poltz old I'd take the flu, the measles, and the blues And I guess I'd do as I was told Kathy would walk up ahead, and I'd follow She seemed so big back then, and me so small And Mommy would give Me Football Tonite (WTOP) Steve Poltz Football Tonite (WTOP) Sweep up the kitchen Hurry and do the dishes Bring me a beer mab' I'll let you go out with your other bitches Sweep up the kitchen Could you turn off the goddamn lights? Welcome Home Steve Poltz Welcome Home Well you walk with me outside tonight Beneath the glow of the big old tire light And in the fog the air is wet With your eyes as big as silver dollars And I hunt you laying down to The Ballad of Tommy and Marla Steve Poltz The Ballad of Tommy and Marla Tommy was a Hessier from the valley He was as burned out as a building from the riots He had a rockin' little girfriend named Marla She was a cocktail waitress at The The Great Mystery Steve Poltz The Great Mystery What do you see in him? Is it the same you saw in me? Is your head alright? Did you bump into a tree? Look To The East Steve Poltz Look To The East If you look to the east Where the sun never sets I'll be there at the top Of the stairs you can bet So just pick up the phone Make a call all your own I'll be there when you say Everything About You Steve Poltz Everything About You I love everything about you I love the way you comb your hair And I love the way you sachet in the room Your perfume lingers in the air I love everything about you Whoa, about This Flood Steve Poltz This Flood It must have rained two weeks last summer When the ice cream man cancelled it was such a fuckin' bummer We were floating down the streets lying naked in a raft I was honing and practicing Soup Steve Poltz pouring rain There wasn't any law and there wasn't any order Couldn't find a pay phone that didn't take quarters Couldn't find a way to cross the goddamn border He could slip under the fence if Skyfuckingline of Toronto Steve Poltz Skyfuckingline of Toronto Skyfuckingline of Toronto Skyfuckingline of Toronto There's a girl out there wants to bonto Beneath the skyfuckingline of Toronto You can come along with me if you want I Want To Learn About Love Steve Poltz I Want To Learn About Love My mouth was just as dry as the tampon dispenser In the women's bathroom at the Oceanside bus station A constipated woman barged in on me and said "Eeek! A boy! Single Life Steve Poltz Single Life There's a cold piece of pizza in the fridge if you want it A stale glass of beer on the table by the Playboys Did you see miss March? Suburbia Steve Poltz road to K-Mart for the blue light special hour And put the barrel to my head, it gives me special power In Suburbia My wife don't understand me, well she thinks that I'm a louse She don't understand One Left Shoe Steve Poltz One Left Shoe Tennis shoe strung 'cross the telephone wire The sun creeps up on my empire Tin foil castle, bubble gum crown Me and my minions make the rounds I'm lonely without you Just like Rioting Steve Poltz Rioting They're rioting in my front yard They're sending in the National Guard People lootin, people shootin, baby I ain't just tootin my horn They're rioting in my front yard They're grabbing Nice Guys Finish Last Steve Poltz underground On a diamond, that's where I remember him best Sticking his nose in an umpire's chest 'Cause they're paid too much today Man, I know that's what Leo would say And they need a kick in the Kicking Distance Steve Poltz Kicking Distance Well there's wine on the page And my heart's enraged And I must call the cops on myself And my bony hands Probe the bed for your body But I'm left once again on the shelf Well Morning Song Steve Poltz Morning Song One, two, three Sun comes up through the window in the morning The flowers say hello I pour cold milk on hot oatmeal Steam goes up my nose Toaster bings Microwave sings Could I Lockjaw Steve Poltz Lockjaw I look outside the sky is grey And the clouds are filled with rain It makes me jealous how it opens up and I'm stuck inside again I'm like a sitcom polyester family Inside my T.V. Pile On The Hangover Steve Poltz Pile On The Hangover Pile on the hangover just give it to me at once Let it fall down like a curtain on my brain with a one, two punch I know I was an ass and I drank too much, my life's a damn disgrace Kilkenny Man Steve Poltz in Ireland, I was weaned on whiskey, but raised on gin Drinkin' so long since I was born, never been so high as a kite in a storm Hey ho, whataya know, when you're outta good whiskey, you're out on the Forbidden Fruit Steve Poltz " she said It wasn't even an original line And my pants they tightened And my face grew taut And in my mind my mother said, "You'd better not" Then again she always told me That I wouldn't like the I Thought I Saw You Last Night Steve Poltz I Thought I Saw You Last Night I'm not easily scared By things that go bump in the night There's not many things That give me a fright I can walk down a lonely block And not a lot can make my old