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My Boyfriend Steve Poltz My Boyfriend My boyfriend, he's so sexy He takes me all the way to Mexico Oh-ooh-whoa-ooh-whoa He don't care if I dance with other fellas He's a gentle bear, he ain't a big gorilla, no Oh-ooh-whoa-ooh-whoa Mama Steve Poltz Mama I like carpet and I like grass I don't know what I'd lay on last If I had my choice, I'd lay on you Mama Oh, mama I like you, you are free When we're apart I'm just not me I'm like a chicken Pile On The Hangover Steve Poltz Pile On The Hangover Pile on the hangover just give it to me at once Let it fall down like a curtain on my brain with a one, two punch I know I was an ass and I drank too much, my life's a damn disgrace Ken Follet Stole My Wallet Steve Poltz Ken Follet Stole My Wallet Who stole my wallet While I was away? Salvation Song Steve Poltz Salvation Song Neon lights outside my pool hall Rain is coming down in spoonfulls Mixes in with tears from my eyes I've been standing here for hours Paper bag for my umbrella Won't you come back Dirty Steve Poltz Dirty Outside the wind is blowing The waves are crashing fast There's people running naked I see a nameless ass It's soft and pink and fleshy So tender to the touch I'll never get to grab it My Rioting Steve Poltz Rioting They're rioting in my front yard They're sending in the National Guard People lootin, people shootin, baby I ain't just tootin my horn They're rioting in my front yard They're grabbing Forbidden Fruit Steve Poltz Forbidden Fruit She hopped in my car faster than bar time "Honey, would you like a date," she said It wasn't even an original line And my pants they tightened And my face grew taut And in my mind Lockjaw Steve Poltz Lockjaw I look outside the sky is grey And the clouds are filled with rain It makes me jealous how it opens up and I'm stuck inside again I'm like a sitcom polyester family Inside my T.V. Suburbia Steve Poltz Suburbia I'm dancing naked on my street, in my neighborhood And I just lost my job last week and I'm not feeling good I think I'll go to Hiram's Guns and Liquor just for fun And pick me up some whiskey This Flood Steve Poltz This Flood It must have rained two weeks last summer When the ice cream man cancelled it was such a fuckin' bummer We were floating down the streets lying naked in a raft I was honing and practicing my The Girl With The Wandering Eye Steve Poltz The Girl With The Wandering Eye Your friend with the subwoofer blew out my tweeter At that biker party downtown But that was OK 'cause he borrowed a fuse From a leather-clad boy in the back And The Fairies Came Steve Poltz , and gold dust in her teeth Then I reached down and felt her magic wand And I realized that he was just like me That fairy came That fairy came That fairy came that night That fairy came to be my One Left Shoe Steve Poltz One Left Shoe Tennis shoe strung 'cross the telephone wire The sun creeps up on my empire Tin foil castle, bubble gum crown Me and my minions make the rounds I'm lonely without you Just like I Thought I Saw You Last Night Steve Poltz I Thought I Saw You Last Night I'm not easily scared By things that go bump in the night There's not many things That give me a fright I can walk down a lonely block And not a lot can make my old Silver Lining Steve Poltz Silver Lining Muffin's in the toaster I got my raspberry jam My grandpa was a sailor And he came into this land And he was looking for gold A pretty hand to hold Or some cards to fold At least Broken Hearts And Painted Nails Steve Poltz Rusty keys and old motels Nothing new, hey, no thrills Rusty keys and old motels tonight And staring at the phone, hoping it'll ring Friday night, yeah, no big thing I'm staring at the phone in my Your Ghost Steve Poltz Your Ghost Last night I looked for you But, you could not be found I felt your ghost in my room Dancing all around And I tried to talk to you But, there was no reply I sat up shaking in my bed The Great Mystery Steve Poltz I don't love you I just love mystery Well, I've played darts With tender hearts I've had mine busted too But your wrecked vision Has got me wishin' For glasses not so blue Just stand inside my Tree Hugger Steve Poltz Tree Hugger I'd rather have a shitty girlfriend than a shitty car If my girlfriend starts to get on my nerves I could travel really far I'd rather have a shitty meal than a shitty resume 'Cause a Soup Steve Poltz find a way to cross the goddamn border He could slip under the fence if he was just a little shorter And if you're gonna leave then you better move quickly If you're gonna stay won't you whisper in my Cancion De Anxiety Steve Poltz Without you I'm nothing Now I'm slippin', now I'm slidin' Now I'm falling, help me mother Wish I had, I got to find I really need an older brother He could loan me money And help me pay for All my Good Morning (Waking Up With You) Steve Poltz feel today I suppose I'll slowly fade away Fade away Hmm-mmm In I walk so slowly Through broken glass outside I tread in oh so cautiously I'm wondrin' where you hide And I got notes tacked on my Morning Song Steve Poltz Morning Song One, two, three Sun comes up through the window in the morning The flowers say hello I pour cold milk on hot oatmeal Steam goes up my nose Toaster bings Microwave sings Could I Single Life Steve Poltz God, she looks so young This single life, it sure is fun Well we could go to the lounge at the Holiday Inn Hear my favorite band play the latest Michael Jackson Song about a boy with a really nice Welcome Home Steve Poltz And I hunt you laying down to bet And the gamble makes you scream and holler Welcome home I'm coming home Welcome home You led me down the sea of gold I was lost in love's smokescreen With my Kicking Distance Steve Poltz Kicking Distance Well there's wine on the page And my heart's enraged And I must call the cops on myself And my bony hands Probe the bed for your body But I'm left once again on the shelf Well She Was The Best Steve Poltz lips of a lizard Dry to the kiss They made me sore Dry as an old paperback from the store By Louis L'Amour A western for sure She had the strength of a goat The smell of one too She passed my Sesame Street Steve Poltz Sesame Street Sunny day Chasing the clouds away Find my way To where the air is sweet Can you tell me how to get How to get to Sesame Street How to get to Sesame Street Come and play Everything's War Steve Poltz Lord Ha, give me a war 'Cause I'm so bored And I want more In a real fucking war Well I'm bored with the Contras and Colonel Quadhafi The Ayatollah's dead, but he made really great coffee With my