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I, ROBOT Screeching Weasel I am a robot I might be paranoid But I'm a living breathing humanoid I am a rhombus I plod around like dough And I'm secure in everything I know Am I American Blue metal under skin No I'm not BRADY Screeching Weasel won't be a freak, a wildebeaste And people won't tape signs onto your back Or beat the crap out of you Or ignore your sorry ass See, there's something vapid inside of you There's a sweet little robot 99 (Ben Weasel) Screeching Weasel I think of you every minute of just about every other day It's funny but the tv dosen't seem to make my thoughts about you go away Every time I think of you I start to follow clues can't call you from Degenerate (Ben Weasel) Screeching Weasel In your beady eyes I don't make the scene Well your right if being part of your teenage soap opera's what you mean Degenerate degenerate Encapsulated with all the other creeps In another lame quest to I Need Therapy Screeching Weasel I need therapy I need therapy I need therapy oh yeah I need therapy I need therapy oh yeah My girlfriend left today When I said "But I love you babe" She just kicked me in the face Oh yeah I'm HIGH AMBITIONS Screeching Weasel I wanna live with Madonna I wanna lick Oprah I wanna go to Hollywood I wanna be a material man I have high ambitions (x3) I wanna write puzzles for Wheel Of Fortune I want god to make my If I Was You (Ben Weasel) Screeching Weasel So if you were in my shoes you're saying that you would basically have it made Well if I was in your boots I'm telling you I would be making things my way I'd take what's mine if I was you You'd never SAY NO TO AUTHORITY Screeching Weasel I like Ronald Reagan He teaches me to be a man He shows me how to pull a scam In the name of Uncle Sam I like Edwin Meese the third He tells me how to spend my time Keeps nasty thoughts far from RUBBER ROOM Screeching Weasel Everything around me is turning into shit And I don't know what to do Everyone I know is having a fit 'Cause I haven't got a clue I don't know who I am Patience is wearing thin I think my head LOVE Screeching Weasel I don't wanna call you and take you to the show I don't wanna go on dates with you And write you sappy notes Cause I don't need the hassles I don't need the headaches too And I don't wanna be in GUEST LIST Screeching Weasel I was hanging out at the show feeling like a fat potato I don't know what I'm doing here I saw her at the door and she looked as bored as me so I got her in I put her on the guest list at the show I WAS A HIGH SCHOOL PSYCHOPATH Screeching Weasel I realy hated high school it was such a drag everytime I walked the halls allthe kids would call me a fag I dodn't care for physical ed and I didn't care for history I wanted to blow up my high school YOU BLISTER MY PAINT Screeching Weasel i don't know what you're doing to me but i don't think it's the way it should be and i don't know what i'm doing i don't know what you're doing i don't know why you're picking on me but i know that's SUPERMARKET FANTASY Screeching Weasel I went through the automatic doors My shopping cart ran in to hers Our eyes met for a second, then she turned away And after just a little while I went in to the canned goods aisle And there she CLAIRE MONET Screeching Weasel Claire Monet I heard someone say It's been so long since the last time I heard her name I learned a lot from her Yeah she was singular The one day she got married That's the last we saw of her I WANNA BE WITH YOU TONIGHT Screeching Weasel I just know your name but still just the same I see you in my dreams at night I see you in my food when I eat I see your pretty mug I think that I'm in love If you kissed me I would blow up If you Plastic Bag Screeching Weasel you say i need help you're gonna read me the riot act i'm stuck in the refrigerator of your ignorance well i don't wanna be here today i don't wanna be here anyway i don't wanna suffocate in a plastic HANGING AROUND Screeching Weasel I walked around alone last night and tried to look at people like I did backthen I kinda wanted to just hang out remind myself what it was all about abouteverything I thought I shattered and left laying WORK Screeching Weasel Work (x12) I can't get up in the morning I feel like a sap like somebody's fool I work like a rat and I'm going insane I know it ain't right and I know it ain't cool So don't tell me (x3) what to I WANNA BE NAKED Screeching Weasel I wanna be naked I wanna be nude I wanna walk around in my birthday suit No more funny looks about the way I dress I'll show the whole world my nakedness I don't need no hangups, I wanna be naked I Hate Your Guts on Sunday (Ben Weasel) Screeching Weasel I hate your guts on Sunday no other day of the week I hate your guts on Sunday but Monday morning you look so sweetI hate your guts on Sunday and I'm not even sure why 'cause I love your guts on Friday MY RIGHT Screeching Weasel My right to say what I want And think the way I wanna think My right I wanna speak my mind My right to yell my right to scream My right no one's ever gonna Tell me what I have to do I'll live the YOUR NAME IS TATOOED ON MY HEART Screeching Weasel well i know that our love is for real but i thought you should know how i feel so you're not going anywehre won't fad away cause your name is tattoed on my heart and i'll alwasy be true don't Your Name Is Tattooed on My Heart Screeching Weasel well i know that our love is for real but i thought you should know how i feel so you're not going anywhere won't fad away cause your name is tattoed on my heart and i'll always be true don't forget that CANCER IN MY BODY Screeching Weasel I know that they're inside me Waiting to multiply And I want them out of there I've got a butcher knife I'll keep cutting 'til I find them 'Cause I want them out of there I don't care if you don't STUPID OVER YOU Screeching Weasel Madonna I'm in love It dosen't make too much sense But when I saw you on TV This sounds so ridiculous But I can't help the way I feel When I look at your chubby face Sandra I don't understand I LOVE TO HATE Screeching Weasel Love to hate I love to hate Deck the halls with Sharon Tate Love to hate I love to hate Assasinate, decapitate I need a dog that I can kick I need some to make me sick The girl that fills me with WHAT IS RIGHT Screeching Weasel What is right (x4) Gotta lot of people don't like my attitude I don't know what the fuck I should do If you think it's OK when I rip in a song Then why when I do it to you is it wrong I gotta ASHTRAY Screeching Weasel I can't pay the rent, the 20 bucks I made last week's already spent The landlord's at the door and there's dried beer and cigarette butts on the floor Can't seem to go to work and let some fucker I Wrote Holden Caulfield (Ben Weasel) Screeching Weasel I loved you for the minute when you decided to tell me the truth I heard you and that night I cried for you I know that you're alone just like everyone else in the world Don't tell me that things don't