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Knights Of The Round Table (Camelot Song) Monty Python We're Knights of the Round Table, We dance when ere we're able, With footwork impeccable. We dine well here in Camelot, We eat ham and jam and spam a lot. Money Song Monty Python I've got lots of lovely lire. Now the Deutschmark's getting dearer, And my dollar bills would buy the Brooklyn Bridge. PRESENTER and CHORUS: There is nothing quite as wonderful as money. Bruce's Philosopher's Song Monty Python Immanuel Kant was a real pissant Who was very rarely stable, David Hume could out-consume, Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy begger Who could think you under the table, Wilhelm Freidrich Hegel. Galaxy Song Monty Python Just - re-member that you're standing on a planet that's evolving It's orbiting at 19 miles a second, so it's reckoned, and revolving at 900 miles an hour, the sun that is the source of all our power. Medical Love Song Monty Python Inflammation of the foreskin Reminds me of your smile. For quite a little while. I've had ballanital chancroids That lovely night in June. I'm So Worried Monty Python And I'm so worried about the baggage retrieval I'm so worried about what's happening today, System they've got at Heathrow. In the Middle East, you know. And the state of the world today. Penis Song (Not The Noel Coward Song) Monty Python Here's a little number I tossed off recently in the Caribbean. Brian Song Monty Python Brian...the babe they called Brian, Grew up to be, Grew...grew, grew and grew, Grew up to be, A boy called Brian, This boy whose name was Brian, He had arms, and legs, and hands, and feet A boy called Lumberjack Song Monty Python : He's a lumberjack and he's okay, I go to the lavatory. On Wednesdays I go shopping I cut down trees, I eat my lunch, And have buttered scones for tea. Meaning Of Life Monty Python Well, tonight, we're going to sort it all out, For, tonight, it's 'The Meaning of Life'. What's the point of all this hoax? Is it the chicken and the egg time? Are we just yolks? Spam Song Monty Python Christmas In Heaven Monty Python ALL OF US. AND I'D LIKE TO SING A SONG: FOR ALL OF It's Christmas in Heaven, All the children sing, It's Christmas in Heaven, Hark hark those church bells ring. Oliver Cromwell Monty Python THE MOST INTERESTING THING ABOUT KING CHARLES I IS THAT HE WAS 5'6" TALL AT THE START OF HIS REIGN, BUT ONLY 4'8" AT THE END OF IT... Oliver Cromwell, Lord Protecteur of England BECAUSE OF... Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life (The Unofficial England Football Anthem) Monty Python best And always look on the bright side of life Whistle Always look on the light side of life Whistle If life seems jolly rotten There's something you've forgotten And that's to laugh and smile and dance Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life Monty Python Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life. Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life. Some things in life are bad, They can really make you mad, Other things just make you swear and curse. Decomposing Composers Monty Python Verse: Beethoven's gone but his music lives on, And Mozart don't go shoppin' no more, You'll never meet Liszt or Brahms again, And Elgar doesn't answer the door. Accountancy Shanty Monty Python To find, explore, the funds offshore It's fun to charter an accountant And sail the wild accountancy It can be manly in insurance, and scourge the sholls of bankruptcy. we'll up your premium semi-annually I Like Chinese Monty Python Spoken: The world today seems absolutely crackers. There are fools and idiots sitting on the trigger. With nuclear bombs to blow us all sky high. Finland Monty Python The country where I want to be, Pony trekking or camping, Or just Wacthing TV, Finland, Finland, Finland. It's the country for me. Quite a long way from Cairo, Verse : You're so near to Russia. Every Sperm Is Sacred Monty Python The background: him masturbating. Consequently, he broke the "sinner"s arm. Someone (No names, children!) walked in on his roommate and caught Whoever said that masturbation is sinful, anyway? Henry Kissinger Monty Python How I'm missing yer You're the Doctor of my dreams With your crinkly hair and your glassy stare And your machiavellian schemes I know they say that you are very vain And short and fat and pushy but at All Things Dull And Ugly Monty Python All things dull and ugly, All creatures short and squat, All things rude and nasty, The Lord God made the lot. Eric The Half A Bee Monty Python Or not to be an entire bee When half the bee is not a bee Due to some ancient injury? Singing... Sit On My Face Monty Python If we sit on our faces in all sorts of places and play I'll sit on your face and then I'll love you truly. Life can be fine if we both sixty-nine, I've Got Two Legs Monty Python I've got two legs from my hips to the ground And when I move them they walk around When I lift them they climb the stairs And when I shave them they ain't got hairs I've got two The King's Sword DARK MOOR There was (an) ancient age, of the warrior, of the sage In a remote time, when bards sang their epic rhymes There is a gloomy land, where no lord or king stands Where misery reigns, peace and justice Never Be Rude To An Arab Monty Python The Lady of Shalott Loreena McKennitt and down the people go, Gazing where the lilies blow Round an island there below, The island of Shalott. Camelot Ginevra I'm searching for Ginevra ginevra is my life My weapon is the music the rythm of the night I'm searching for Ginevra Ginevra is on the floor Searching for Ginevra oh mio amor! Camelot Broadway Cast Spoken> It's true, it's true, the crown has made it clear The climate must be perfect all year A law was made a distant moon ago here July and August cannot be too hot And there's a legal limit