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The World Loudon Wainwright III Oh the world is a terrible place Look at the look on your face It says it all This world's appalling And we ache for outer space 'Cause the world is a terrible place And the world is a crappy old hole The Picture Loudon Wainwright III There are pictures on the piano, pictures of the family, Mostly my kids but there's an old Picture of you and me. The End Has Begun Loudon Wainwright III We walk in your footsteps Though I've had my ups and downs And I'll stand in the silence Until I figure it out One might fall and the other will stand And one might give where the other won't bend The So Many Songs Loudon Wainwright III I've written so many songs about you This is the last one, after this I'm through When I sing this one, when I do my show, People will hear it, the world will know I've written so many songs about you Guru Loudon Wainwright III CHORUS: Down in Southern California There's a guru that is guruing there He's got 250 followers They're following him everywhere He's got all of the answers to all of the questions And he promises to make Men Loudon Wainwright III When a ship is sinking and they lower the lifeboats And hand out the life jackets, the men keep on their coats The women and the children are the ones who must go first And the men who try to save their New Paint Loudon Wainwright III At the station you can meet her With that smile you couldn?t cheat her A woman that kind is hard to find It? Dreaming Loudon Wainwright III chances not choices Noises not voices A day's just a thing to get through Living's just too hard to do I'd rather be dreaming than talking There's nothing to hear or to say With ears covered mouth closed The Sometimes I Forget Loudon Wainwright III disputes that fact And your bookcase still holds all your books It's as if all you've done is go out of town You'll be back soon, that's just how it looks But your suitcase is empty, it's right here in the What Are Families For? Loudon Wainwright III He lights his seventh cigarette "Almost," she says, "it won't be long Look out the window, sing a song" Singing what... what are families for? I'M Alright Loudon Wainwright III meet again another time, another place Can't believe it's been so many years We better grab a chair and a couple of beers You're lookin' good in your three piece suit You know I always knew you'd take the Christmas Morning Loudon Wainwright III Well the banks & the schools & the post office are closed You can park where you please and you won't get towed The streets are empty & the stores are finally closed It's Christmas morning He got a tie Talking New Bob Dylan Loudon Wainwright III Well, it musta been about '62 I heard you on record, you were brand new And some had some doubts about the way you sang But the truth came through and loudly it rang Yeah, you were hipper than Mitch Miller The Untitled Loudon Wainwright III your life, I'm gonna get you back I'm tired of being stuck up on your shelf Might not wait around, Might kill myself Not only would you miss me, you'd feel guilty to Oh I'd be dead but it'd be too late the The Doctor Loudon Wainwright III I went to the doctor and the doctor said Son you look older than me and I'm 71 You're falling apart and not living right I went to the doctor and the doctor said Loud, you've got to stop hanging out With Dead Skunk Loudon Wainwright III Crossin` the highway late last night He shoulda looked left and he shoulda looked right He didn`t see the station wagon car The skunk got squashed and there you are You got yer Dead skunk in the middle Rufus Is A Tit Man Loudon Wainwright III Rufus is a tI' man Suckin' on hI' mamma's gland Suckin' on the nipple It's a sweeter than the ripple wine. Yes its sweeter than the wine. Over The Hill Loudon Wainwright III Once you were a young man, But now you are old - you're over the hill. And you can't cross the palm of time's hand With silver and gold to make him stand still. The Shit Song Loudon Wainwright III When I run into friends of mine I haven`t seen in years They give me the once over then their eyes well up with tears Then they pronounce me looking great I haven`t changed a bit I flash `em back a feeble The Home Stretch Loudon Wainwright III If the day off doesn`t get you Then the bad reviewer does At least you`ve been a has been And not just a never was And you know it`s not a mountain But no mole hill is this big And you promise to quit The Acid Song Loudon Wainwright III Five of us dropped in the girls' room, Psycadilisized insane quintet. Suddenly It's Christmas Loudon Wainwright III There's lights and tinsel in the window They're stocking up the shelves. Santa's slaving at the North Pole In his sweatshop full of elves. Underwear Loudon Wainwright III You know when I know just how much I care When I'm carefully folding your clean underwear I see it's all worth it though sometimes it sure hurts Putting back in the bureau drawer all my t-shirts I find Breakfast In Bed Loudon Wainwright III Well I wake up in the morning And I can't get out of bed You're lying in there with me We stay put instead I grind the beans, squeeze the juice And butter up the toast That takes about an hour Ninety minutes Come A Long Way (Album Version) Loudon Wainwright III We've come a long way since we last shook hands Still got a long way to go We couldn't see the flowers since we last shook hands Couldn't see the flowers on account of the snow What did you do with your Down Drinking at the Bar Loudon Wainwright III Well, I call you up on the phone: nobody's at home. Then I do my usual thing: I let the telephone ring and ring and ring. I'm standing at a phone booth, coping with the ugly truth. Nocturnal Stumblebutt (Album Version) Loudon Wainwright III "Well it's 3am, and so I creep Around the house 'cause you're asleep I can't sleep, I gotta smoke I think I left some in my coat No they're not there, but there's a chance I left some in a packet in my Between Loudon Wainwright III Between the forest and the ocean lies a lonely strand The ocean is your mother, and the forest Fatherland. Pretty Good Day Loudon Wainwright III I slept through the night, I got through to the dawn I flipped a switch and the light went on I got out of bed and I put some clothes on Oh, it's a pretty good day so far I turned the tap, there was cold Clockwork Chartreuse (Album Version) Loudon Wainwright III You got the black belt, I got the gun. Let's team up tonight--have some fun. Let's drink some drinks, find us some fights. C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon: it's Saturday night!