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♪
Number One
Loudon Wainwright III
Of all the chicks & broads & babes & bimbos I have known No
one
does it better than you do on the phone Midway through my busy day all through my empty night I dial your 900
number
and it feels oh so right
♪
You Never Phone
Loudon Wainwright III
never write you never phone I`m sorry to bitch and moan I`m sorry to pick this bone You never write you never phone Sometimes I wonder ow wow ow wow ow wow What you must think of me My address and phone
number
♪
The End Has Begun
Loudon Wainwright III
We walk in your footsteps Though I've had my ups and downs And I'll stand in the silence Until I figure it out
One
might fall and the other will stand And
one
might give where the other won't bend The
♪
So Many Songs
Loudon Wainwright III
I've written so many songs about you This is the last
one
, after this I'm through When I sing this
one
, when I do my show, People will hear it, the world will know I've written so many songs about you
♪
Unhappy Anniversary
Loudon Wainwright III
Unhappy Anniversary It's
one
year since we split I walk and talk and get around Lie down, stand up, and sit I eat and drink and smoke and sing and Live a little bit Unhappy Anniversary It's
one
year since
♪
T.S.M.N.W.A.
Loudon Wainwright III
Wainwright
has two w's They get that
one
wrong and I get the blues That old grammar school try 's Not good enough guys
Wainwright
has two w's
One
day I thought I would die When I saw with my very
one
eye
♪
I Can'T Stand Myself
Loudon Wainwright III
I sure can pick 'em Out looking for my next victim Who will that unlucky
one
be?
♪
Four Mirrors
Loudon Wainwright III
I've slumped in your chair Tossed and turned in your bed Lurked in your lair I have lived in your head Where others were closer No
one
is nearer As I glimpse you in me In the hallway mirror I've grabbed
♪
Mr. Ambivalent
Loudon Wainwright III
Ambivalent You don't gain no ground When you stay in
one
spot Mr.
♪
Cobwebs
Loudon Wainwright III
I hate it when I hear it especially when I see it Gotta stamp it out there ought to be some laws College boys valley girls mall rats grandmammas Everybody's misusin that word I heard it four times in
one
♪
Mr. Guilty
Loudon Wainwright III
Call me Mr Guilty, Mr Guilty that's my name Without a doubt it's all my fault, I'm the
one
to blame You say that you're unhappy I do believe it's true Cause I'm the
one
, the no good bum That did it all
♪
Nocturnal Stumblebutt (Album Version)
Loudon Wainwright III
think I left some in my coat No they're not there, but there's a chance I left some in a packet in my pants Bumped into the table, just below the belt If you were a man baby you'd know how that felt Just
one
♪
A Father And A Son
Loudon Wainwright III
Now, your mother's family, you know them: Each and every
one
a gem, Each and every
one
a gem. When I was your age I was a mess; On a bad day I still am, I guess.
♪
Ogm
Loudon Wainwright III
The OGM on our machine Began with we're not here now But you went and changed the "we" to "no
one
" Do you mean us or me?
♪
Clockwork Chartreuse (Album Version)
Loudon Wainwright III
It's a hard day at the office,
one
needs to unwind. Let's mix up some cocktails...the Molotov kind. Burn down the high school...the synogogue. Let's burn down McDonald's--let's go whole hog!
♪
Talking New Bob Dylan
Loudon Wainwright III
just us and of course you were you And "John Wesley Harding" sure sounded new And then, "Nashville Skyline" was even newer 'Blood On the Tracks' an' the ringin' got truer Let's see, there was another
one
♪
Dilated to Meet You (Album Version)
Loudon Wainwright III
Perhaps tomorrow night We're hoping you won't hurt too much And that you'll be all right Life has a few unpleasantries We may as well confess We suppose you'll cry a lot And that you'll be a mess There is
one
♪
Muse Blues (Album Version)
Loudon Wainwright III
I went down to the library, you know the big
one
way downtown I went down to the library, you know the big
one
way downtown I pulled out my spiral notebook and my scripto pencil These, these, these are
♪
Something For Nothing
Loudon Wainwright III
You can pull
one
of my songs right out of thin air Go ahead and download me see if I care In love war and cyberspace everything`s fair And it`s ok to steal `coz it`s so nice to share You`re in luck `cos
♪
Your Mother & I
Loudon Wainwright III
you Families get broken, I know it's a shame It's nobody's fault, you're not to blame Your Mother & I are both feeling bad Things will get better, It won't stay this sad And I hope when you grow up,
one
♪
I'D Rather Be Lonely
Loudon Wainwright III
(Chorus)
One
more verse, a few more words Love is for the bees and birds Not for a human being like me. I'd rather be lonely.
♪
Red Guitar (Album Version)
Loudon Wainwright III
Used to have a red guitar until I smashed it
one
drunk night Smashed it in the classic form as Peter Townsend might I threw it in the fireplace, I left it there awhile Kate, she started crying when she
♪
Between
Loudon Wainwright III
Honour thy father, and thy mother, Though they're not the same, and
one
pits you 'gainst the other, It's the cruellest game, You are stuck and you are stranded, you must live until you di-ie.
♪
The Acid Song
Loudon Wainwright III
I had not taken acid for twelve years, But
one
night last summer I did. I was adrift in a bar room, Acting like a jerk and a kid. I knew we were asking for trouble, Trouble was what we would get.
♪
What Gives
Loudon Wainwright III
a few years back Natalie and Nat King Cole duetted and went gold There's a way to make it pay Though they've flown the coup John Denver, Stevie Ray, Vaughan, Buddy Holly Ricky Nelson, Otis Redding in
one
♪
Rufus Is A Tit Man
Loudon Wainwright III
So put Rufus on the left
one
And put me right on the right And like Romulus and Remus We'll suck all night. Come on mamma Come on and lactate awhile.
♪
Westchester County
Loudon Wainwright III
richer than most, I don't mean to boast But I swam in the country club pool With a father from Hewlett, Long Island And a mother fromTifton, GA During the war in the Marine Corps They met and then married
one
♪
Happy Birthday Elvis
Loudon Wainwright III
Happy birthday, Elvis; I for
one
will not shed tears. You'll be back for the millennium; That's in seven measly years.
♪
A Song
Loudon Wainwright III
like an annoying friend It's true that you like what you get You get what you're given God knows what the hell you'll like That's why he's up in heaven Here's a song I didn't even write It came to me
one
♪
Say That You Love Me (Album Version)
Loudon Wainwright III
simple words, least it's a start Come on, say that you love me, say that it's true Say that you love me and I said it to you Well, it's been said before and you can say it again I got to be more than just
one
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