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Little Ship Loudon Wainwright III Our relationship Is just a little ship That's out on a stormy sea We barely keep afloat In our leaky boat But still I'm hoping That you'll dote on me When we first set sail We thought we'd never fail Men Loudon Wainwright III When a ship is sinking and they lower the lifeboats And hand out the life jackets, the men keep on their coats The women and the children are the ones who must go first And the men who try to save their 1994 Loudon Wainwright III chance If you'rre dumb, fat, queer, or crazy No one is to blame You've just been dealt a lousy hand In the genetic poker game And if you start killing people It's not evil you're not cruel It's just a little Tonya's Twirls Loudon Wainwright III No, she wasn't goody-two-skates, like all the other girls, With their grinning and their spinning and their winning little twirls. And her childhood was unhappy, and her mom was really weird. Y2k Loudon Wainwright III A bunch of nerdy brainy guys a long way back Invented a crazy little thing they called the Univac For years now, they've been upgrading that thing It can walk & talk & count & think & it can even sing Cobwebs Loudon Wainwright III when I hear it especially when I see it Gotta stamp it out there ought to be some laws College boys valley girls mall rats grandmammas Everybody's misusin that word I heard it four times in one poor little New Paint Loudon Wainwright III m a little uncool and I?m a little uncouth Oh, excuse me, yes, excuse me if you will At the station you can meet her With that smile you couldn?t cheat her A woman that kind is hard to find Unhappy Anniversary Loudon Wainwright III Unhappy Anniversary It's one year since we split I walk and talk and get around Lie down, stand up, and sit I eat and drink and smoke and sing and Live a little bit Unhappy Anniversary It's one year since Primrose Hill Loudon Wainwright III no tourist attraction But I give them a thrill Yeah I see you Riding by on your flash bicycle Yeah they can do you for that on Primrose Hill A pretty young mother goes by She's pushing her pram Her little 4 X 10 Loudon Wainwright III strange, no mystery you and I are history I put up my protective wall it's 4 feet thick and 10 feet tall 10 feet tall and 4 feet thick granite, concrete, steel and brick protection for you, understand the little Mr. Ambivalent Loudon Wainwright III Ambivalent Make a little movement Or get off of the pot If you love it and you hate it You just stay in a bind Take it or leave it Make up your mind Mr. Rufus Is A Tit Man Loudon Wainwright III Come on mamma, Come on and open up your shirt Yeah you've got the goods mamma Give the little boy a squirt. For my lungs and my liver I do definitely fear. Christmas Morning Loudon Wainwright III park where you please and you won't get towed The streets are empty & the stores are finally closed It's Christmas morning He got a tie & she got a book They weren't supposed to peek but they took a little Five Years Old Loudon Wainwright III if you got some roses on your birthday They're from me I won't forget the day that you were born Five years ago We were happy and excited and we loved you so You're growing up so quickly Now, I feel a little The Picture Loudon Wainwright III A brother and a sister, a little boy and girl, And whoever took that picture Captured our own world. I Can'T Stand Myself Loudon Wainwright III trying to find somebody to bring home To meet my dear sweet mother She's thinking oh no here comes another one But she knows I just can't leave it alone I got this sneaking suspicion It's more than just a little Suddenly It's Christmas Loudon Wainwright III Yes, they're working overtime Santa's little runts. Christmas comes but once a year And goes on for two months. Christmas carols in December And November too. You Never Phone Loudon Wainwright III Sometimes I wonder ow wow ow wow ow wow What you must think of me Then I remember it`s you that you think of exclusively But I`m not gonna bow and scrape And every Don`t know what Martha is saying And I`m a little Grown Man Loudon Wainwright III He wishes he were young, a little better hung, And he's paranoid you feel that way too; So reassure him, you'll never cure him, But he still needs his daily dose of you. The Doctor Loudon Wainwright III went to the doctor and the doctor said Kid it was something that you ate or drank It's something that you did And it's all in your head and It's spreadin on down to your toes Let's spread it around a little A Father And A Son Loudon Wainwright III I don't want to die and you want to live; It takes a little bit of take and a whole lot of give. It never really ends though each race is run, This thing between a father and a son. What Are Families For? Loudon Wainwright III You're the brother who is big You were your parents' guinea pig The first, the oldest and the best Smarter, quicker than the rest Your little sister's just a girl So you can kick her from your world You Daughter Loudon Wainwright III Conspiracies Loudon Wainwright III Number One Loudon Wainwright III Inaugural Blues Loudon Wainwright III Pretty Good Day Loudon Wainwright III What Gives Loudon Wainwright III Father/Daughter Dialogue Loudon Wainwright III [Loudon] Darling Daughter can't you see The guy singing the songs ain't me He's someone people wish I was What I can't do this dude does And if the songs seem slightly pat I know life's messier than that Dreaming Loudon Wainwright III