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I Can'T Stand Myself Loudon Wainwright III I sure can pick 'em Out looking for my next victim Who will that unlucky one be? The Shit Song Loudon Wainwright III When I run into friends of mine I haven`t seen in years They give me the once over then their eyes well up with tears Then they pronounce me looking great I haven`t changed a bit I flash `em back a feeble Something For Nothing Loudon Wainwright III You can pull one of my songs right out of thin air Go ahead and download me see if I care In love war and cyberspace everything`s fair And it`s ok to steal `coz it`s so nice to share You`re in luck `cos New Paint Loudon Wainwright III At the station you can meet her With that smile you couldn?t cheat her A woman that kind is hard to find It? Cobwebs Loudon Wainwright III when I hear it especially when I see it Gotta stamp it out there ought to be some laws College boys valley girls mall rats grandmammas Everybody's misusin that word I heard it four times in one poor little You Never Phone Loudon Wainwright III You never phone you never write Hell I stopped hoping that you might You`re trying to hurt my feelings right You never phone you never write You never write you never phone I`m sorry to bitch and moan The End Has Begun Loudon Wainwright III We walk in your footsteps Though I've had my ups and downs And I'll stand in the silence Until I figure it out One might fall and the other will stand And one might give where the other won't bend The Career Moves Loudon Wainwright III "For twenty odd years I have strummed on guitars Five thousand lost flat picks, four fingertip scars I must have broken a million g strings Picking and strumming, and playing these things Banging and tunin Unrequited To The Nth Degree Loudon Wainwright III Oh when I die and it won't be long Hey you're gonna be sorry that you treated me wrong Yeah you're gonna be sorry that you treated me bad Hey and if there's an after life I'll gloat and I'll be glad Might Dead Skunk Loudon Wainwright III Crossin` the highway late last night He shoulda looked left and he shoulda looked right He didn`t see the station wagon car The skunk got squashed and there you are You got yer Dead skunk in the middle The Untitled Loudon Wainwright III Oh when I die & it wont be long Oh you're gonna be sorry that you treated me wrong You're gonna be sorry that you treated me bad And if there's an after life I'll gloat & I'll be glad Might be a plane Unhappy Anniversary Loudon Wainwright III Unhappy Anniversary It's one year since we split I walk and talk and get around Lie down, stand up, and sit I eat and drink and smoke and sing and Live a little bit Unhappy Anniversary It's one year since Underwear Loudon Wainwright III You know when I know just how much I care When I'm carefully folding your clean underwear I see it's all worth it though sometimes it sure hurts Putting back in the bureau drawer all my t-shirts I find Red Guitar (Album Version) Loudon Wainwright III Used to have a red guitar until I smashed it one drunk night Smashed it in the classic form as Peter Townsend might I threw it in the fireplace, I left it there awhile Kate, she started crying when she The Home Stretch Loudon Wainwright III If the day off doesn`t get you Then the bad reviewer does At least you`ve been a has been And not just a never was And you know it`s not a mountain But no mole hill is this big And you promise to quit T.S.M.N.W.A. Loudon Wainwright III should be an O They spelled my name wrong again Why in God's name can't they check It's a pain in the ass and the neck Not a capital crime, but it's the umpteenth time Why in God's name can't they check I Sometimes I Forget Loudon Wainwright III Sometimes I forget that you've gone You've gone, and you're not coming back And it's hard to believe that you're still not here What's left behind, disputes that fact And your bookcase still holds all 1994 Loudon Wainwright III There's been a brand neew breakthrough Though they're not sure what it means We used to blame our parents Now we can pin it on our genes Hey and I'm not talking 501's I don't mean no pair of pants I'm Your Mother & I Loudon Wainwright III Your Mother & I are living apart I know that seems stupid, but we weren't very smart You'll stay with her, I'll visit you At Christmas, on weekends, the summertime too Your Mother & I are not getting along Mr. Guilty Loudon Wainwright III Call me Mr Guilty, Mr Guilty that's my name Without a doubt it's all my fault, I'm the one to blame You say that you're unhappy I do believe it's true Cause I'm the one, the no good bum That did it all Over The Hill Loudon Wainwright III And you can't cross the palm of time's hand With silver and gold to make him stand still. Who could have possibly thought It would go so fast, but it certainly did. Number One Loudon Wainwright III When I'm feelin lonely and bottled up inside I know I can aslays take that magic carpet ride I get down on my bearskin rug on my loving room floor I get you on the telephone & you give me what for CHORUS Y2k Loudon Wainwright III A bunch of nerdy brainy guys a long way back Invented a crazy little thing they called the Univac For years now, they've been upgrading that thing It can walk & talk & count & think & it can even sing I'D Rather Be Lonely Loudon Wainwright III Every night I get the blues, The greens and yellows and chartreus-es. You're still living here with me. I'd rather be lonely. All the time I look around For excuses to leave town. Primrose Hill Loudon Wainwright III dirty old sleeping bag And this mangy dog Whose tail don't wag Sun's been shining down On my hillside bed That's not the only reason My face is so red This nasty cut on my nose Is not from no fight I Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder Loudon Wainwright III I guess you'd say you were taken for granted I went on and on and I raved and I ranted,oh-- My tyrannical ways. B Side (Album Version) Loudon Wainwright III It's wonderful to be alive To be a bee in this beehive It's tough as nails, it's smooth as silk It's milk and honey, without milk I work with flowers, it's my work From this, there's no way that I can Nocturnal Stumblebutt (Album Version) Loudon Wainwright III "Well it's 3am, and so I creep Around the house 'cause you're asleep I can't sleep, I gotta smoke I think I left some in my coat No they're not there, but there's a chance I left some in a packet in my The Acid Song Loudon Wainwright III I had not taken acid for twelve years, But one night last summer I did. I was adrift in a bar room, Acting like a jerk and a kid. I knew we were asking for trouble, Trouble was what we would get. Dreaming Loudon Wainwright III The world is opposed Nothing gets in or away There's nothing to hear or to say I'd rather be dreaming than thinking Thoughts are small comfort to me Dreams might be pretend But at least dreams end And I