Down Drinking at the Bar Loudon Wainwright III

Well, I call you up on the phone: nobody's at home. Then I do my usual thing: I let the telephone ring and ring and ring. I'm standing at a phone booth, coping with the ugly truth.

The Acid Song Loudon Wainwright III

Back in the bar we were happy, Feeling great, no problem, Back in the bar we were fine. Till Johnny turned into a Nazi, And Mary threw up all her wine.

Primrose Hill Loudon Wainwright III

Living on the side Of Primrose Hill Drinking cans of Tennants Just can't seem to get my fill Got a beat up guitar And a dirty old sleeping bag And this mangy dog Whose tail don't wag Sun's been shining

Drinking Song (Album Version) Loudon Wainwright III

Like widowed women, drunk men weep Like children curled up, drunk men sleep Like a dog, a drunk will crawl around on all fours Be he broke bum or rich rake His dinner be it bread or cake His beverage be the

Smokey Joe's Cafe (Album Version) Loudon Wainwright III

One day while I was eating beans at Smokey Joe’s Café Sitting digging on the scene at Smokey Joe’s Café A chick came walking through the door that I had never seen before Least I’d never saw her down at

The Home Stretch Loudon Wainwright III

If the day off doesn`t get you Then the bad reviewer does At least you`ve been a has been And not just a never was And you know it`s not a mountain But no mole hill is this big And you promise to quit

Career Moves Loudon Wainwright III

And it's been sixteen years now that I've written songs Over a hundred and still growing strong About drinking and hockey and flying above Again and again about unhappy love Over and over, unhappy love

I Can'T Stand Myself Loudon Wainwright III

There must be some kind of waitress I could lure under my mattress If I ply her with chitchat and wine How's about a rich heiress Or a nice massage therapist I could use some hands-on treatment all of the

Four Mirrors Loudon Wainwright III

I've slumped in your chair Tossed and turned in your bed Lurked in your lair I have lived in your head Where others were closer No one is nearer As I glimpse you in me In the hallway mirror I've grabbed

Between Loudon Wainwright III

Between the forest and the ocean lies a lonely strand The ocean is your mother, and the forest Fatherland.

Clockwork Chartreuse (Album Version) Loudon Wainwright III

You got the black belt, I got the gun. Let's team up tonight--have some fun. Let's drink some drinks, find us some fights. C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon: it's Saturday night!

The Man Who Couldn'T Cry Loudon Wainwright III

There once was a man who just couldn't cry He hadn't cried for years & for years Napalmed babies & the movie 'Love Story', For

A Song Loudon Wainwright III

Here's a song For someone else to sing With a universal And generic ring It's all about the same old stuff That you like and can't get enough of How's about a minor chord right here Wasn't that rather

The Man Who Couldn't Cry (Album Version) Loudon Wainwright III

will Then at some point his tear ducts ran dry He grew to be a man, the feces hit the fan Things got bad, but he couldn't cry His dog was run over, his wife up and left him And after that he got sacked

Y2k Loudon Wainwright III

It can help you at school, church, business, and work Makes you feel like a genius even though you're just a jerk You get a computer, you sit it in your lap It does a little bit of this it does a whole

What Are Families For? Loudon Wainwright III

He's at the wheel, she's at his side Three kids in back out for a ride Looking at houses, autumn leaves Keep hope alive, try to believe They haven't made a huge mistake And what seemed real in fact is

Guru Loudon Wainwright III

CHORUS: Down in Southern California There's a guru that is guruing there He's got 250 followers They're following him everywhere He's got all of the answers to all of the questions And he promises to make

Something For Nothing Loudon Wainwright III

cyberspace everything`s fair And it`s ok to steal `coz it`s so nice to share You`re in luck `cos last night it happened again I was feeling creative about twenty to ten So I sharpened a pencil then I wore down

Breakfast In Bed Loudon Wainwright III

Well I wake up in the morning And I can't get out of bed You're lying in there with me We stay put instead I grind the beans, squeeze the juice And butter up the toast That takes about an hour Ninety minutes

Conspiracies Loudon Wainwright III

We don't believe in "You know who" But we don't let the kids know it We're parents, who are grown ups There's a line we have to toe it But we're part of a conspiracy About this bearded big fat guy Who

The Picture Loudon Wainwright III

There are pictures on the piano, pictures of the family, Mostly my kids but there's an old Picture of you and me.

The End Has Begun Loudon Wainwright III

We walk in your footsteps Though I've had my ups and downs And I'll stand in the silence Until I figure it out One might fall and the other will stand And one might give where the other won't bend The

New Paint Loudon Wainwright III

At the station you can meet her With that smile you couldn?t cheat her A woman that kind is hard to find It?

Muse Blues (Album Version) Loudon Wainwright III

I went down to the library, you know the big one way downtown I went down to the library, you know the big one way downtown I pulled out my spiral notebook and my scripto pencil These, these, these are

East Indian Princess (Album Version) Loudon Wainwright III

of life has got that other life beat And reading magazines, she sits in straightbacked chairs She's got a common welfare, she's got a queen that cares She's got meat on her bones, she doesn't starve at

A Father And A Son Loudon Wainwright III

When I was your age I was just like you, And just look at me now; I'm sure you do. But your grandfather was just as bad And you should have heard him trash his dad.

Mr. Guilty Loudon Wainwright III

Call me Mr Guilty, Mr Guilty that's my name Without a doubt it's all my fault, I'm the one to blame You say that you're unhappy I do believe it's true Cause I'm the one, the no good bum That did it all

Little Ship Loudon Wainwright III

Our relationship Is just a little ship That's out on a stormy sea We barely keep afloat In our leaky boat But still I'm hoping That you'll dote on me When we first set sail We thought we'd never fail The

Nocturnal Stumblebutt (Album Version) Loudon Wainwright III

"Well it's 3am, and so I creep Around the house 'cause you're asleep I can't sleep, I gotta smoke I think I left some in my coat No they're not there, but there's a chance I left some in a packet in my

The Doctor Loudon Wainwright III

I went to the doctor and the doctor said Son you look older than me and I'm 71 You're falling apart and not living right I went to the doctor and the doctor said Loud, you've got to stop hanging out With

Come A Long Way (Album Version) Loudon Wainwright III

We've come a long way since we last shook hands Still got a long way to go We couldn't see the flowers since we last shook hands Couldn't see the flowers on account of the snow What did you do with your

The World Loudon Wainwright III

Oh the world is a terrible place Look at the look on your face It says it all This world's appalling And we ache for outer space 'Cause the world is a terrible place And the world is a crappy old hole

Over The Hill Loudon Wainwright III

Once you were a young man, But now you are old - you're over the hill. And you can't cross the palm of time's hand With silver and gold to make him stand still.

Tip That Waitress Loudon Wainwright III

the groping hoping you might Come across with a tip and sympathize with her plight Tip that waitress She's getting her masters, supporting her mom Amidst the confusion she remains cool and calm She knows

Rufus Is A Tit Man Loudon Wainwright III

Rufus is a tI' man Suckin' on hI' mamma's gland Suckin' on the nipple It's a sweeter than the ripple wine. Yes its sweeter than the wine.

So Damn Happy Loudon Wainwright III

The sad thing is I'm so damn happy Who'd blame her if she were to slap me The sun should not shine when there's rain I should be in a lot more pain At least I should feel slightly crappy But the sad thing

Inaugural Blues Loudon Wainwright III

Talkin' 'bout my generation People try to put us down But they weren't people, just our parents Now they're old or not around Bill and Hill are our first couple Student prez, homecoming queen Tipper's

Talking New Bob Dylan Loudon Wainwright III

Well, it musta been about '62 I heard you on record, you were brand new And some had some doubts about the way you sang But the truth came through and loudly it rang Yeah, you were hipper than Mitch Miller

Westchester County Loudon Wainwright III

I was raised here in Westchester County I was taught in the Country Day School We were richer than most, I don't mean to boast But I swam in the country club pool With a father from Hewlett, Long Island

Happy Birthday Elvis Loudon Wainwright III

I heard a cassette of you speaking On a telephone; From a bunker beneath Graceland, The king sits on his throne. Happy birthday, Elvis; Fifty-eight years old today.

Men Loudon Wainwright III

When a ship is sinking and they lower the lifeboats And hand out the life jackets, the men keep on their coats The women and the children are the ones who must go first And the men who try to save their

Unhappy Anniversary Loudon Wainwright III

Unhappy Anniversary It's one year since we split I walk and talk and get around Lie down, stand up, and sit I eat and drink and smoke and sing and Live a little bit Unhappy Anniversary It's one year since

Suddenly It's Christmas Loudon Wainwright III

There's lights and tinsel in the window They're stocking up the shelves. Santa's slaving at the North Pole In his sweatshop full of elves.

4 X 10 Loudon Wainwright III

strange, no mystery you and I are history I put up my protective wall it's 4 feet thick and 10 feet tall 10 feet tall and 4 feet thick granite, concrete, steel and brick protection for you, understand the

Father/Daughter Dialogue Loudon Wainwright III

You can't undo what has been done To all your daughters and your son The facts are in and we have found That basically you're not around Dearest Daddy try as you might All you are is just uptight You sing

Thanksgiving Loudon Wainwright III

Lord every year we gather here To eat around this table Give us the strength to stomach as much As fast as we are able Bless this food to our use Though?

Pretty Good Day Loudon Wainwright III

I slept through the night, I got through to the dawn I flipped a switch and the light went on I got out of bed and I put some clothes on Oh, it's a pretty good day so far I turned the tap, there was cold

Ogm Loudon Wainwright III

The OGM on our machine Began with we're not here now But you went and changed the "we" to "no one" Do you mean us or me?

Your Mother & I Loudon Wainwright III

Your Mother & I are living apart I know that seems stupid, but we weren't very smart You'll stay with her, I'll visit you At Christmas, on weekends, the summertime too Your Mother & I are not getting along

Sometimes I Forget Loudon Wainwright III

disputes that fact And your bookcase still holds all your books It's as if all you've done is go out of town You'll be back soon, that's just how it looks But your suitcase is empty, it's right here in the