Dilated to Meet You (Album Version) Loudon Wainwright III

We're wondering when you will arrive We're wondering what you'll be We're wondering if you'll be a her Or if you'll be a he Maybe you'll arrive today Perhaps tomorrow night We're hoping you won't hurt

Smokey Joe's Cafe (Album Version) Loudon Wainwright III

on the scene at Smokey Joe’s Café A chick came walking through the door that I had never seen before Least I’d never saw her down at Smokey Joe’s Café no I started shakin’ when she sat right down next to

Muse Blues (Album Version) Loudon Wainwright III

I went down to the library, you know the big one way downtown I went down to the library, you know the big one way downtown I pulled out my spiral notebook and my scripto pencil These, these, these are

Nocturnal Stumblebutt (Album Version) Loudon Wainwright III

you're asleep I can't sleep, I gotta smoke I think I left some in my coat No they're not there, but there's a chance I left some in a packet in my pants Bumped into the table, just below the belt If you

Lullaby (Album Version) Loudon Wainwright III

Shut up and go to bed Put the pillow under your head I'm sick and tired of all your worries Shut up and say goodnight Say your prayers and turn off the light I'm sick and tired of all your sob-stories

B Side (Album Version) Loudon Wainwright III

It's wonderful to be alive To be a bee in this beehive It's tough as nails, it's smooth as silk It's milk and honey, without milk I work with flowers, it's my work From this, there's no way that I can

Red Guitar (Album Version) Loudon Wainwright III

Used to have a red guitar until I smashed it one drunk night Smashed it in the classic form as Peter Townsend might I threw it in the fireplace, I left it there awhile Kate, she started crying when she

Clockwork Chartreuse (Album Version) Loudon Wainwright III

You got the black belt, I got the gun. Let's team up tonight--have some fun. Let's drink some drinks, find us some fights. C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon: it's Saturday night!

Drinking Song (Album Version) Loudon Wainwright III

, a drunk will crawl around on all fours Be he broke bum or rich rake His dinner be it bread or cake His beverage be the worse of whiskey, finest wine Puke it stinks and so it seems That drunkards go to

Come A Long Way (Album Version) Loudon Wainwright III

We've come a long way since we last shook hands Still got a long way to go We couldn't see the flowers since we last shook hands Couldn't see the flowers on account of the snow What did you do with your

Say That You Love Me (Album Version) Loudon Wainwright III

Told you I love you Talked on the [Incomprehensible] You'd said that you like me, feel like a fool Say that you like me, that's not enough Say that you love me, I'm calling your bluff Say that you love

East Indian Princess (Album Version) Loudon Wainwright III

East Indian princess lives in a western dream Happy like a child, her mother is a queen You know she's safe as a cow on a Calcutta street This English way of life has got that other life beat And reading

The Man Who Couldn't Cry (Album Version) Loudon Wainwright III

cried for years and for years Napalmed babies and the movie love story For instance could not produce tears As a child he had cried as all children will Then at some point his tear ducts ran dry He grew to

New Paint Loudon Wainwright III

At the station you can meet her With that smile you couldn?t cheat her A woman that kind is hard to find It?

Father/Daughter Dialogue Loudon Wainwright III

[Martha] Dearest Daddy with your songs Do you hope to right your wrongs?

Sometimes I Forget Loudon Wainwright III

books It's as if all you've done is go out of town You'll be back soon, that's just how it looks But your suitcase is empty, it's right here in the hall That's not even the strangest thing Why would you

I Can'T Stand Myself Loudon Wainwright III

of waitress I could lure under my mattress If I ply her with chitchat and wine How's about a rich heiress Or a nice massage therapist I could use some hands-on treatment all of the time I'm done with you

I'M Alright Loudon Wainwright III

Well it's been a long time, glad to see your face I knew we'd meet again another time, another place Can't believe it's been so many years We better grab a chair and a couple of beers You're lookin' good

The Home Stretch Loudon Wainwright III

If the day off doesn`t get you Then the bad reviewer does At least you`ve been a has been And not just a never was And you know it`s not a mountain But no mole hill is this big And you promise to quit

The Doctor Loudon Wainwright III

I went to the doctor and the doctor said Son you look older than me and I'm 71 You're falling apart and not living right I went to the doctor and the doctor said Loud, you've got to stop hanging out With

Dead Skunk Loudon Wainwright III

of the road Dead skunk in the middle of the road Dead skunk in the middle of the road Stinkin` to high heaven Take a whiff on me that ain`t no rose Roll up yer window and hold yer nose You don`t

Kick In The Head Loudon Wainwright III

Well I hear that she told you she'd been shacking up with your best friend And the kick in the head is she said that she wants to again Well they was kissin and huggin and doin it right in your bed Oh

What Are Families For? Loudon Wainwright III

She forgets to take a pill Overload is overkill What... what are families for?

Ogm Loudon Wainwright III

The OGM on our machine Began with we're not here now But you went and changed the "we" to "no one" Do you mean us or me?

Guru Loudon Wainwright III

CHORUS: Down in Southern California There's a guru that is guruing there He's got 250 followers They're following him everywhere He's got all of the answers to all of the questions And he promises to make

Over The Hill Loudon Wainwright III

Once you were a young man, But now you are old - you're over the hill. And you can't cross the palm of time's hand With silver and gold to make him stand still.

Mr. Guilty Loudon Wainwright III

Call me Mr Guilty, Mr Guilty that's my name Without a doubt it's all my fault, I'm the one to blame You say that you're unhappy I do believe it's true Cause I'm the one, the no good bum That did it all

Number One Loudon Wainwright III

: When it comes to lovin on the phone you are the best Local or long distance, you're better thatn the rest And when it is all over, when it's been said and done Of all the numbers out there, your number's

Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder Loudon Wainwright III

Absence makes the heart grow fonder And the mind begins to wander back to happier days. I guess you'd say you were taken for granted I went on and on and I raved and I ranted,oh-- My tyrannical ways.

Conspiracies Loudon Wainwright III

We don't believe in "You know who" But we don't let the kids know it We're parents, who are grown ups There's a line we have to toe it But we're part of a conspiracy About this bearded big fat guy Who

A Song Loudon Wainwright III

Here's a song For someone else to sing With a universal And generic ring It's all about the same old stuff That you like and can't get enough of How's about a minor chord right here Wasn't that rather

Down Drinking at the Bar Loudon Wainwright III

Well, I call you up on the phone: nobody's at home. Then I do my usual thing: I let the telephone ring and ring and ring. I'm standing at a phone booth, coping with the ugly truth.

Bein' A Dad Loudon Wainwright III

Bein' a dad isn't so bad Except that you gotta feed 'em You gotta shoe 'em and clothe 'em And try not to loathe 'em Bug 'em and hug 'em and heed 'em Bein' a dad can sure make you mad Man it even can drive

Something For Nothing Loudon Wainwright III

You can pull one of my songs right out of thin air Go ahead and download me see if I care In love war and cyberspace everything`s fair And it`s ok to steal `coz it`s so nice to share You`re in luck `cos

Unrequited To The Nth Degree Loudon Wainwright III

Oh when I die and it won't be long Hey you're gonna be sorry that you treated me wrong Yeah you're gonna be sorry that you treated me bad Hey and if there's an after life I'll gloat and I'll be glad Might

A Father And A Son Loudon Wainwright III

When I was your age I was just like you, And just look at me now; I'm sure you do. But your grandfather was just as bad And you should have heard him trash his dad.

The Untitled Loudon Wainwright III

Oh when I die & it wont be long Oh you're gonna be sorry that you treated me wrong You're gonna be sorry that you treated me bad And if there's an after life I'll gloat & I'll be glad Might be a plane

Talking New Bob Dylan Loudon Wainwright III

Hey, Bob Dylan, I wrote you a song Today is your birthday if I'm not wrong If I'm not mistaken, you're 50 today How are you doin', Bob? What do you say?

You Never Phone Loudon Wainwright III

You never phone you never write Hell I stopped hoping that you might You`re trying to hurt my feelings right You never phone you never write You never write you never phone I`m sorry to bitch and moan

Between Loudon Wainwright III

You are standing on that empty beach not knowing where to go-o Out to sea or else inland, your whole life you don't know.

1994 Loudon Wainwright III

talking about a future Where nothing's left to chance If you'rre dumb, fat, queer, or crazy No one is to blame You've just been dealt a lousy hand In the genetic poker game And if you start killing people

So Many Songs Loudon Wainwright III

I've written so many songs about you This is the last one, after this I'm through When I sing this one, when I do my show, People will hear it, the world will know I've written so many songs about you

Career Moves Loudon Wainwright III

And it's music for money, but I'll do it for fun Oh, I know how to do it, it's easily done To stand on a stage doesn't make me afraid I'm comfortable up there, it's gotten me laid It always amazes me when

The Picture Loudon Wainwright III

There are pictures on the piano, pictures of the family, Mostly my kids but there's an old Picture of you and me.

Your Mother & I Loudon Wainwright III

Your Mother & I are living apart I know that seems stupid, but we weren't very smart You'll stay with her, I'll visit you At Christmas, on weekends, the summertime too Your Mother & I are not getting along

Grown Man Loudon Wainwright III

You got a grown man for a boyfriend, So you better treat him just like a baby. He's a saint on Sunday, he's a bum on Monday; The rest of the week he's just crazy.

Christmas Morning Loudon Wainwright III

Well the banks & the schools & the post office are closed You can park where you please and you won't get towed The streets are empty & the stores are finally closed It's Christmas morning He got a tie

Breakfast In Bed Loudon Wainwright III

left off On my shoulder late last night I mean to say I'm hungry But it's not for food When I'm on your empty stomach It must mean I'm in the mood Just a couple of consumers Every morning me and you We

The Acid Song Loudon Wainwright III

The sidewalk began to perspire, We had glass and dog shit at our feet. We went over to Mary's apartment Come on! To listen to the Grateful Dead.

The End Has Begun Loudon Wainwright III

Never gonna look back Never gonna know where we would have ended up at The end has only begun So stop counting the hours Live out in the world Cause I've been chasing the answers And they don't want to