A Song Loudon Wainwright III

Here's a song For someone else to sing With a universal And generic ring It's all about the same old stuff That you like and can't get enough of How's about a minor chord right here Wasn't that rather

The Shit Song Loudon Wainwright III

When I run into friends of mine I haven`t seen in years They give me the once over then their eyes well up with tears Then they pronounce me looking great I haven`t changed a bit I flash `em back a feeble

The Acid Song Loudon Wainwright III

I was adrift in a bar room, Acting like a jerk and a kid. I knew we were asking for trouble, Trouble was what we would get. Five of us dropped in the girls' room, Psycadilisized insane quintet.

Drinking Song (Album Version) Loudon Wainwright III

Drunk men stagger, drunk men fall Drunk men swear and that's not all Quite often they will urinate outdoors Like widowed women, drunk men weep Like children curled up, drunk men sleep Like a dog, a drunk

The World Loudon Wainwright III

Oh the world is a terrible place Look at the look on your face It says it all This world's appalling And we ache for outer space 'Cause the world is a terrible place And the world is a crappy old hole

Pretty Good Day Loudon Wainwright III

I slept through the night, I got through to the dawn I flipped a switch and the light went on I got out of bed and I put some clothes on Oh, it's a pretty good day so far I turned the tap, there was cold

Tip That Waitress Loudon Wainwright III

exits in case of a fire or bomb She knows all the words to the 23rd Psalm She handles her tray with pnash and aplomb Her brother's a Quaker, her dad was in Nam Tip that waitress Tip that waitress, she's

Something For Nothing Loudon Wainwright III

In love war and cyberspace everything`s fair And it`s ok to steal `coz it`s so nice to share You`re in luck `cos last night it happened again I was feeling creative about twenty to ten So I sharpened a

What Are Families For? Loudon Wainwright III

She forgets to take a pill Overload is overkill What... what are families for?

Talking New Bob Dylan Loudon Wainwright III

Hey, Bob Dylan, I wrote you a song Today is your birthday if I'm not wrong If I'm not mistaken, you're 50 today How are you doin', Bob? What do you say?

You Never Phone Loudon Wainwright III

Sometimes I wonder ow wow ow wow ow wow What you must think of me Then I remember it`s you that you think of exclusively But I`m not gonna bow and scrape And every Don`t know what Martha is saying And I`m a

A Father And A Son Loudon Wainwright III

Life's no picnic, that's a given: My mom's mom died when my mom was seven; My mom's father was a tragic guy, But he was so distant and nobody knows why.

Bein' A Dad Loudon Wainwright III

Bein' a dad isn't so bad Except that you gotta feed 'em You gotta shoe 'em and clothe 'em And try not to loathe 'em Bug 'em and hug 'em and heed 'em Bein' a dad can sure make you mad Man it even can drive

Grown Man Loudon Wainwright III

You got a grown man for a boyfriend, So you better treat him just like a baby. He's a saint on Sunday, he's a bum on Monday; The rest of the week he's just crazy.

I'M Alright Loudon Wainwright III

Well it's been a long time, glad to see your face I knew we'd meet again another time, another place Can't believe it's been so many years We better grab a chair and a couple of beers You're lookin' good

East Indian Princess (Album Version) Loudon Wainwright III

East Indian princess lives in a western dream Happy like a child, her mother is a queen You know she's safe as a cow on a Calcutta street This English way of life has got that other life beat And reading

The Picture Loudon Wainwright III

We were sitting outside drawing At a table meant for cards, And it must have been in autumn, Falling leaves in the front yard, With a shoebox full of crayons, Full of colors oh so bright, In a picture

Westchester County Loudon Wainwright III

I was raised here in Westchester County I was taught in the Country Day School We were richer than most, I don't mean to boast But I swam in the country club pool With a father from Hewlett, Long Island

Y2k Loudon Wainwright III

A bunch of nerdy brainy guys a long way back Invented a crazy little thing they called the Univac For years now, they've been upgrading that thing It can walk & talk & count & think & it can even sing

1994 Loudon Wainwright III

There's been a brand neew breakthrough Though they're not sure what it means We used to blame our parents Now we can pin it on our genes Hey and I'm not talking 501's I don't mean no pair of pants I'm

Men Loudon Wainwright III

When a ship is sinking and they lower the lifeboats And hand out the life jackets, the men keep on their coats The women and the children are the ones who must go first And the men who try to save their

Primrose Hill Loudon Wainwright III

Living on the side Of Primrose Hill Drinking cans of Tennants Just can't seem to get my fill Got a beat up guitar And a dirty old sleeping bag And this mangy dog Whose tail don't wag Sun's been shining

Mr. Guilty Loudon Wainwright III

Call me Mr Guilty, Mr Guilty that's my name Without a doubt it's all my fault, I'm the one to blame You say that you're unhappy I do believe it's true Cause I'm the one, the no good bum That did it all

New Paint Loudon Wainwright III

t cheat her A woman that kind is hard to find It?s good to take a girl In the not so very good world And walk in the park until it gets dark Sometimes I feel ugly and old Excuse me, baby, if I?

Suddenly It's Christmas Loudon Wainwright III

Suddenly it's Christmas Right after Hallowe'en Forget about Thanksgiving It's just a buffet in between. There's lights and tinsel in the window They're stocking up the shelves.

Rufus Is A Tit Man Loudon Wainwright III

Rufus is a tI' man Suckin' on hI' mamma's gland Suckin' on the nipple It's a sweeter than the ripple wine. Yes its sweeter than the wine.

Come A Long Way (Album Version) Loudon Wainwright III

We've come a long way since we last shook hands Still got a long way to go We couldn't see the flowers since we last shook hands Couldn't see the flowers on account of the snow What did you do with your

Dilated to Meet You (Album Version) Loudon Wainwright III

We're wondering when you will arrive We're wondering what you'll be We're wondering if you'll be a her Or if you'll be a he Maybe you'll arrive today Perhaps tomorrow night We're hoping you won't hurt

Cobwebs Loudon Wainwright III

"Well it stumbles and it falls off of almost every tongue Give a listen and you'll hear It's workin like a landmine in almost every sentence It's an assault to my mind's ear Yeah it might have started

Over The Hill Loudon Wainwright III

Once you were a young man, But now you are old - you're over the hill. And you can't cross the palm of time's hand With silver and gold to make him stand still.

Little Ship Loudon Wainwright III

Our relationship Is just a little ship That's out on a stormy sea We barely keep afloat In our leaky boat But still I'm hoping That you'll dote on me When we first set sail We thought we'd never fail

Christmas Morning Loudon Wainwright III

Well the banks & the schools & the post office are closed You can park where you please and you won't get towed The streets are empty & the stores are finally closed It's Christmas morning He got a tie

Muse Blues (Album Version) Loudon Wainwright III

the big one way downtown I went down to the library, you know the big one way downtown I pulled out my spiral notebook and my scripto pencil These, these, these are the words that I did put down I’m a

The Home Stretch Loudon Wainwright III

If the day off doesn`t get you Then the bad reviewer does At least you`ve been a has been And not just a never was And you know it`s not a mountain But no mole hill is this big And you promise to quit

What Gives Loudon Wainwright III

Paul & George & Ringo, just a fraction of the Fab Four Some still survive from Dave Clark's Five Washed up on the Mersey Shore Jerry has a pacemaker The hermit's name is Herman That old man's Manfred Mann

Red Guitar (Album Version) Loudon Wainwright III

Used to have a red guitar until I smashed it one drunk night Smashed it in the classic form as Peter Townsend might I threw it in the fireplace, I left it there awhile Kate, she started crying when she

Happy Birthday Elvis Loudon Wainwright III

It's a lie, it's just a crock, Something some people said. I heard a cassette of you speaking On a telephone; From a bunker beneath Graceland, The king sits on his throne.

The Man Who Couldn'T Cry Loudon Wainwright III

There once was a man who just couldn't cry He hadn't cried for years & for years Napalmed babies & the movie 'Love Story', For

Clockwork Chartreuse (Album Version) Loudon Wainwright III

We'll rape a co-ed. La la la la la la la la la... Beat on a wino 'til he is dead. I'll slug a hippie, you'll plug a cop. We'll go on a rampage and we won't wanna stop. Oh baby.

Conspiracies Loudon Wainwright III

We don't believe in "You know who" But we don't let the kids know it We're parents, who are grown ups There's a line we have to toe it But we're part of a conspiracy About this bearded big fat guy Who

4 X 10 Loudon Wainwright III

feet thick and 10 feet tall 10 feet tall and 4 feet thick granite, concrete, steel and brick protection for you, understand the little boy, the inner man boys kissed the girls then made them cry that's a

Thanksgiving Loudon Wainwright III

memory And home cooking we're dealing Remind us that we are all grown up Adults, no longer children Now it's our kids that spill the milk And our turn to want to kill them I look around and recognize A

The Man Who Couldn't Cry (Album Version) Loudon Wainwright III

There once was a man who just couldn't cry He hadn't cried for years and for years Napalmed babies and the movie love story For instance could not produce tears As a child he had cried as all children

Guru Loudon Wainwright III

CHORUS: Down in Southern California There's a guru that is guruing there He's got 250 followers They're following him everywhere He's got all of the answers to all of the questions And he promises to make

Ogm Loudon Wainwright III

Your new outgoing voice Sounds bright and brave and very clear now In those seconds you recorded it I guess that you felt free I started out my message With a pause that I aborted When I addressed you

B Side (Album Version) Loudon Wainwright III

It's wonderful to be alive To be a bee in this beehive It's tough as nails, it's smooth as silk It's milk and honey, without milk I work with flowers, it's my work From this, there's no way that I can

Lullaby (Album Version) Loudon Wainwright III

I'm sick and tired of all your sob-stories Shut up and shut your eyes No more histrionics, no more college tries Stop pushing, stop shoving, stop straining Shut your mouth and button your lip You're a

Mr. Ambivalent Loudon Wainwright III

Ambivalent Make a little movement Or get off of the pot If you love it and you hate it You just stay in a bind Take it or leave it Make up your mind Mr.

Smokey Joe's Cafe (Album Version) Loudon Wainwright III

One day while I was eating beans at Smokey Joe’s Café Sitting digging on the scene at Smokey Joe’s Café A chick came walking through the door that I had never seen before Least I’d never saw her down at

Say That You Love Me (Album Version) Loudon Wainwright III

Told you I love you Talked on the [Incomprehensible] You'd said that you like me, feel like a fool Say that you like me, that's not enough Say that you love me, I'm calling your bluff Say that you love