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A Father And A Son Loudon Wainwright III Life's no picnic, that's a given: My mom's mom died when my mom was seven; My mom's father was a tragic guy, But he was so distant and nobody knows why. Father/Daughter Dialogue Loudon Wainwright III You can't undo what has been done To all your daughters and your son The facts are in and we have found That basically you're not around Dearest Daddy try as you might All you are is just uptight You sing Bein' A Dad Loudon Wainwright III Bein' a dad isn't so bad Except that you gotta feed 'em You gotta shoe 'em and clothe 'em And try not to loathe 'em Bug 'em and hug 'em and heed 'em Bein' a dad can sure make you mad Man it even can drive Between Loudon Wainwright III Between the forest and the ocean lies a lonely strand The ocean is your mother, and the forest Fatherland. Westchester County Loudon Wainwright III I was raised here in Westchester County I was taught in the Country Day School We were richer than most, I don't mean to boast But I swam in the country club pool With a father from Hewlett, Long Island Men Loudon Wainwright III When a ship is sinking and they lower the lifeboats And hand out the life jackets, the men keep on their coats The women and the children are the ones who must go first And the men who try to save their Rufus Is A Tit Man Loudon Wainwright III Rufus is a tI' man Suckin' on hI' mamma's gland Suckin' on the nipple It's a sweeter than the ripple wine. Yes its sweeter than the wine. Four Mirrors Loudon Wainwright III I've slumped in your chair Tossed and turned in your bed Lurked in your lair I have lived in your head Where others were closer No one is nearer As I glimpse you in me In the hallway mirror I've grabbed Thanksgiving Loudon Wainwright III communication's useless Don't let me drink too much wine Lord you know how I get ruthless Let us somehow get through this meal Without that bad old feeling With history and memory And home cooking we're Conspiracies Loudon Wainwright III We don't believe in "You know who" But we don't let the kids know it We're parents, who are grown ups There's a line we have to toe it But we're part of a conspiracy About this bearded big fat guy Who The Doctor Loudon Wainwright III I went to the doctor and the doctor said Son you look older than me and I'm 71 You're falling apart and not living right I went to the doctor and the doctor said Loud, you've got to stop hanging out With Y2k Loudon Wainwright III It can help you at school, church, business, and work Makes you feel like a genius even though you're just a jerk You get a computer, you sit it in your lap It does a little bit of this it does a whole A Song Loudon Wainwright III Here's a song For someone else to sing With a universal And generic ring It's all about the same old stuff That you like and can't get enough of How's about a minor chord right here Wasn't that rather The Picture Loudon Wainwright III We were sitting outside drawing At a table meant for cards, And it must have been in autumn, Falling leaves in the front yard, With a shoebox full of crayons, Full of colors oh so bright, In a picture The World Loudon Wainwright III Oh the world is a terrible place Look at the look on your face It says it all This world's appalling And we ache for outer space 'Cause the world is a terrible place And the world is a crappy old hole 1994 Loudon Wainwright III talking about a future Where nothing's left to chance If you'rre dumb, fat, queer, or crazy No one is to blame You've just been dealt a lousy hand In the genetic poker game And if you start killing people Primrose Hill Loudon Wainwright III Living on the side Of Primrose Hill Drinking cans of Tennants Just can't seem to get my fill Got a beat up guitar And a dirty old sleeping bag And this mangy dog Whose tail don't wag Sun's been shining Tip That Waitress Loudon Wainwright III "She's been on her feet nearly half the damned night Bringing your beverage and your late night bite She remains cheerful, when you're nasty and tight Makes change for a 50 in dim candle light Ignoring Pretty Good Day Loudon Wainwright III I slept through the night, I got through to the dawn I flipped a switch and the light went on I got out of bed and I put some clothes on Oh, it's a pretty good day so far I turned the tap, there was cold I'M Alright Loudon Wainwright III Well it's been a long time, glad to see your face I knew we'd meet again another time, another place Can't believe it's been so many years We better grab a chair and a couple of beers You're lookin' good Suddenly It's Christmas Loudon Wainwright III Suddenly it's Christmas Right after Hallowe'en Forget about Thanksgiving It's just a buffet in between. There's lights and tinsel in the window They're stocking up the shelves. Mr. Guilty Loudon Wainwright III Call me Mr Guilty, Mr Guilty that's my name Without a doubt it's all my fault, I'm the one to blame You say that you're unhappy I do believe it's true Cause I'm the one, the no good bum That did it all East Indian Princess (Album Version) Loudon Wainwright III East Indian princess lives in a western dream Happy like a child, her mother is a queen You know she's safe as a cow on a Calcutta street This English way of life has got that other life beat And reading Little Ship Loudon Wainwright III Our relationship Is just a little ship That's out on a stormy sea We barely keep afloat In our leaky boat But still I'm hoping That you'll dote on me When we first set sail We thought we'd never fail Grown Man Loudon Wainwright III You got a grown man for a boyfriend, So you better treat him just like a baby. He's a saint on Sunday, he's a bum on Monday; The rest of the week he's just crazy. New Paint Loudon Wainwright III t cheat her A woman that kind is hard to find It?s good to take a girl In the not so very good world And walk in the park until it gets dark Sometimes I feel ugly and old Excuse me, baby, if I? Talking New Bob Dylan Loudon Wainwright III And Johnny Mathis put together So I got some boots, a harmonica rack A D-21, and I was on the right track But I didn't start writing until '68 It was too damn daunting, you were too great I won a whole Come A Long Way (Album Version) Loudon Wainwright III We've come a long way since we last shook hands Still got a long way to go We couldn't see the flowers since we last shook hands Couldn't see the flowers on account of the snow What did you do with your The Home Stretch Loudon Wainwright III If the day off doesn`t get you Then the bad reviewer does At least you`ve been a has been And not just a never was And you know it`s not a mountain But no mole hill is this big And you promise to quit 4 X 10 Loudon Wainwright III it's not strange, no mystery you and I are history I put up my protective wall it's 4 feet thick and 10 feet tall 10 feet tall and 4 feet thick granite, concrete, steel and brick protection for you, understand