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Oh, Really I, Ludicrous really Kelvin Hughes went off to the South Pole with the British Antarctic Survey 3 years in the arctic wastes no visitor except for Renolf Feines walking backwards Brrr the temperatures fell as low as Ludicrous Frankmusik Little girl who walks alone You never needed anyone But I can see the tears in your eyes You lost your wings that used to let you fly Baby don’t be ludicrous ludicrous ‘Cos everyday you’re losing Preposterous Tales (Flexi) I, Ludicrous Hello Ken Well here we are again Another Friday night I heard someone singing about you on the radio Well what can I get you that´s two light bitters then Before you start Ken let`s keep it clean I went Preposterous Tales I, Ludicrous Hello Ken Well here we are again Another Friday night I heard someone singing about you on the radio Well what can I get you that´s two light bitters then Before you start Ken let`s keep it clean I went When I Worked At Textline I, Ludicrous Ties too wide and suits too bright when I worked at Textline We`d get pissed on Thursday nights when I worked at Textline Friday we`d roll in at ten I could hardly hold a pen Lunchtime on the piss again Away From The Rabble I, Ludicrous mindless rabble If you go down to the woods today Don`t be surprised to see groups of businessmen dressed up in combats firing paint at each other in order to foster team spirit and sell more computers Oh How Much Money Should I Give To Charity? I, Ludicrous How much money should I give to charity When confronted with a tin How much should put in Am I solving anything Or is money down the sink Some people make a living out of charity Some people abuse hospitality I've Never Been Hit By Mark E. Smith I, Ludicrous And I`ve never been hit by Mark E Smith I`ve taken every drug I can From Actifed to Philisan I drove a motorbike across Iran And spent some time with in a caravan I use violence to impress my friends When The Computer Engineer Comes I, Ludicrous He turns up only three hours late he greets me with what`s the trouble mate it shouldn`t take long to fix I`ll have it done by six It`s a network system isn`t it Yeah Do you have your system files on Man's Man I, Ludicrous My pock marked face gives the game away My love of beer and Chinese takeaways I`m a man`s man I`m a man`s man I`m a man`s man Ladies man I`m a married man I`m a family man I`m a gentleman I`m a worried Mistakes I, Ludicrous I went to college for all the wrong reasons to get a degree help me succeed I didn`t spend enough time getting laid these are some of the mistakes I`ve made I gave my money to a struggling artist she was Last Night I, Ludicrous Last night I was questioning who I am Last night I would`ve taken on any man Last night I smoked thirty cigarettes Last night my language was direct Today at half past two I have a pay review Last night Completely Ratted I, Ludicrous I`m completely ratted HA HA HA HA HA Completely ratted HA HA HA HA HA Completely ratted And All I want is an orange juice And All I want is a good excuse And All I want is to get back the use of my wavering Trevor Barker I, Ludicrous My name is Trevor Barker I`m coming to your town I`m going to make a few redundancies I`m going to close the plant down I drive a Mercedes Benz I own a Jaguar too My wife doesn`t need to work I send my Richard Madeley I, Ludicrous TRichard Madeley I`d like to write a song about you one day but I might find the task too easy unless I think of something nice to say Richard Madeley I`ve heard so much ill about you lately you`ve been Carter - They're Unstoppable I, Ludicrous I read about a band in South East 23 I thought it was me I thought it was me Riding around on a 68 bus I thought it was us I thought it was us I phoned Steve Lamacq and said who do you mean He said Carter Quite Extraordinary I, Ludicrous Tell the viewers at home and tell the kids on the street And if you`ve just got in from work now you`re in for a treat The half times are up on the screen There`s too many words and too many teams I can Spock's Brain I, Ludicrous Jim What is it Bones They`ve stolen Spock`s Brain I never met Spock but I followed his adventures on the BBC his death came as a great shock to Jim and me I know he had pointed ears and green Vulcan Three English Football Grounds I, Ludicrous Manifesto I, Ludicrous and so the madness continues ska face reviewed the chaos he had become what he sought to destroy searching for rhymes and reasons he knew what he must do he must return to exorcise his demons I`m the product We Stand Around I, Ludicrous C2s In Vans I, Ludicrous engine roars All shapes sizes and shapes All with scratches on the doors C2s in vans C2s have made it big Courted by ad man We want their votes and their cash Patronised in lager ads C2s in vans I` We're The Support Band I, Ludicrous Bring On The Substitute I, Ludicrous hours ago nobody knew his name what`s his name what`s his name Now the crowd are roaring him to instant fame there`s only one whatshisname He sprints along the line and does a stretching exercise But I` Valediction (Like A Moron) I, Ludicrous Please say goodbye don`t you cry like a moron Reach for the sky I`ll have some of what you`re on Today is just the parting of the ways There`s no need to be theatrical And when it`s all over bar the Seattle The Classic Crime my eyes California sounds nice but California's a lie Maybe I'm out of luck Or maybe I'm just blind All this time Rain on my hopes Rain on my soul Rain on everything that I know It feels so ludicrous Phantom Power And Ludicrous Speed Pierce The Veil I'm mastering the art of miracles and flawless tragedies In here I spend everyday trying to fit in Devoured while the walls grow hands and teeth I cried and listened to the rain in a rental car And one Said She To Me Joyrider She couldn't see how ludicrous it all sounded to me That life was good in small towns and the disco's were so great They build their lives 'round stupid things that mean nothing to me And the things New Skin New Skin Ludicrous times Heat waves sweet summer heat waves Comatose in bed Ragdoll existence Wrapped up limbs confining me Beautiful dreams Bliss around the corner Won’t allow ourselves Not for us heaven is waiting Chapter VIII Estatic Fear As the stars like ludicrous fauns, Join the grim reapers dionystic glance We step forward together with the pale withered spring And join the pipings of their sombre dance