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Too Late To Die Young Dan Bern the drugs And the Vegas shows And there wasn't much of anything That looked like grief And I guess he shoulda done Like James Dean did 'Stead of putting on weight And sinking down, down, down Easier to Tiger Woods Dan Bern I got big balls, big old balls Big as grapefruits, big as pumpkins Yes sir, yes sir, and on my really good days They swell to the size of small dogs My balls are as big as small dogs Well, Oklahoma Dan Bern bite off both his ears And I said True revolutionaries Never bomb buildings True revolutionaries Never bomb buildings It attracts too much attention They never bomb buildings A little girl down my block Rolling Away Dan Bern Your hand is between my legs The dog is between our bodies As I wake up you are rolling from me I am rolling from you Time to join a new religion Time to overthrow the state Time to demand Everybody's Baby Dan Bern Can't you see she's everybody's baby Maybe for the summer or fall But don't fall too hard for everybody's baby 'Cause everybody's baby Ain't nobody's gal Take a stroll with everybody's baby Lose yourself One Thing Real Dan Bern I come down the steps I slip on the ice Santa Claus been looking Who's been naughty Who's been nice I'm looking for one thing real tonight And Jesus he comes up to me Jesus he sits down He says take this Wasteland Dan Bern pinball Make-up on, all caked up Looking like some kind of china doll With all of Adolf Hitler's moves down cold As they stood up in front Of a rock and roll band And always moving upward and ever upward To Estelle Dan Bern lozenge sitting on a copy Of Tropic of Cancer The only thing weird about it Is that a year ago, I never thought I'd paint anything again I decided I wasn't ever gonna paint again It didn't bother me too No Missing Link Dan Bern Someday you'll walk where I am And then you'll see my footprints left in the sand I feel you moving in my wake So please try to learn from my mistakes Do not judge from where you stand Someday Suzanne Dan Bern Someday you'll walk where I am And then you'll see my footprints left in the sand I feel you moving in my wake So please try to learn from my mistakes Do not judge from where you stand Someday Talkin' Alien Abduction Blues Dan Bern Could’ve given spontaneous birth If I was a woman... and pregnant Then these two little guys about 4 feet tall Jumped off that space-age Greyhound bus They grabbed by the arms and said, "Start walking Dan Go To Sleep Dan Bern lost art This archaic stuff Go out and make something If you wanna make some dough You oughta invest in my company We're putting barcodes On the fetuses Using ultrasound And laser technology We used to Queen Dan Bern Do you got to be a queen all your life Are you gonna take that crown off your head Are you ever gonna come to bed Do you got to be a queen all your life Do you plan on speaking in this year Are you gonna Rome Dan Bern But even old bull fighters Their grave stones in sight Must search 'till they unearth One last bull to fight And so it was with us So near to the end One last story to tell One last hill to defend One Hannibal Dan Bern be taken away next week Wednesday And everything everybody ever believed Will be disproved next week Friday I’m going down to Hannibal Going down to Hannibal Gonna buy a new suit of clothes Hitler I'm Not The Guy Dan Bern We pulled into Rome With blood in our eyes After days of travelin' Months of lies Taking our various Turns at the wheel Taking booze And pot and cigarettes Anything not to feel No one had slept No one Chick Singers Dan Bern Well this bald headed girl I know sent me a tape of Bjork and Courtney Love And PJ Harvey, called it brilliant women I put it in my car, heard it all the way down to the coast Normally if left One Dance Dan Bern Because I love you I get tongue tied around you I never say smart stuff around you I never say anything around you That makes you want to be with me So, because I love you I will never be with you There's Oh Sister Dan Bern They say you taught me how to talk I bet you wish you taught me how to stop You're far away now I wish I could take a walk with you someplace You explained me to our parents English wasn't Monica Dan Bern something was telling her Stay low, invisible and out of sight And then, Monica, the blade came, Monica Like God spitting on you, a knife in your back We read it in the paper and moved on to Jerusalem Dan Bern you all that much Don't ask what kind of music I'm gonna play tonight Just stay awhile Hear for yourself awhile And if you must put me in a box Make sure it's a big box With lots of windows And a door to Kurt Dan Bern When Kurt Cobain blew out his brain All the little girls, they cried like rain And as for me I felt the pain But I got no T-shirts left to stain For Kennedy and Jesse James And Joan of Arc and Kurt Cobain King Of The World Dan Bern Well, they elected me King of the World I said, "Here's what I'm gonna do Send everybody over to China Except for me and you Strip ourselves naked Go to Beverly Center Watch movies and eat Cinnabons" Marilyn Dan Bern But if she did He'd a taken her to Paris And if she did She'd have smoked a lot of opium And if she did She'd have dyed her hair blue And if she did She might be alive Oh-ohh Henry Miller Oh-ohh Marilyn Live Another Day Dan Bern Sometimes I walk and wish L.A. were some small town in Monterey I close my eyes and ask the Gods to make those Cadillacs, dusty dogs I close my eyes and live, I close my eyes and live another day Sometimes Cure For Aids Dan Bern and Martha and Sue I slept with Julie, Melissa and Kate The day they found a cure The day they found a cure for AIDS Everybody took one little pill and was okay The people who had plotted to Jesus Freak Dan Bern and Martha and Sue I slept with Julie, Melissa and Kate The day they found a cure The day they found a cure for AIDS Everybody took one little pill and was okay The people who had plotted to Never Fall In Love Dan Bern When I'm walking down the street Don't make me meet your sister, Pete, When there's a knock knockin at my door I'll just sit here on the floor I'll run 26 miles a day straight up hills Work overtime to SURF AND/OR DIE Steely Dan SURF AND/OR DIE Earthbound to Johnny boy just picked up your message 'Bout those Balinese ikats you thought I might buy Now your voice on my machine is more alive than what you are Since your daredevil Captured Angel Dan Fogelberg All the years You spent in growing End up one more Line you're towing Don't look know Your age is showing And its much too late To turn back You better pull in the slack.