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I'm Not The Guy Dan Bern We pulled into Rome With blood in our eyes After days of travelin' Months of lies Taking our various Turns at the wheel Taking booze And pot and cigarettes Anything not to feel No one had slept No one Oh Sister Dan Bern And who can say what I'd been Without you to lead the way After I showed some guys I could drink You picked me off the lawn, I think And led me to the kitchen sink Where I got rid of it Oklahoma Dan Bern Look mom They're gonna fry tim mcvay She said 'the nice guy who's on the cover of all those magazines? Why would they want to do a thing like that?' One Dance Dan Bern plenty other people Who I always find the words for That I have the sweet gift of gab for That I'm magical and good for Who because I do not love them Always want to be with me Everything I say is true One Thing Real Dan Bern I come down the steps I slip on the ice Santa Claus been looking Who's been naughty Who's been nice I'm looking for one thing real tonight And Jesus he comes up to me Jesus he sits down He says take this King Of The World Dan Bern Well, they elected me King of the World I said, "Here's what I'm gonna do Send everybody over to China Except for me and you Strip ourselves naked Go to Beverly Center Watch movies and eat Cinnabons" No Missing Link Dan Bern Someday you'll walk where I am And then you'll see my footprints left in the sand I feel you moving in my wake So please try to learn from my mistakes Do not judge from where you stand Someday Suzanne Dan Bern Someday you'll walk where I am And then you'll see my footprints left in the sand I feel you moving in my wake So please try to learn from my mistakes Do not judge from where you stand Someday Live Another Day Dan Bern Sometimes I walk and wish L.A. were some small town in Monterey I close my eyes and ask the Gods to make those Cadillacs, dusty dogs I close my eyes and live, I close my eyes and live another day Sometimes Never Fall In Love Dan Bern I got 36-foot insulation in my house Wear 14 pairs of long underwear Stick tape inside my ears Cover myself with five bedspreads I spend every morning in an isolation tank Spend every afternoon high up Kurt Dan Bern When Kurt Cobain blew out his brain All the little girls, they cried like rain And as for me I felt the pain But I got no T-shirts left to stain For Kennedy and Jesse James And Joan of Arc and Kurt Cobain Rolling Away Dan Bern Your hand is between my legs The dog is between our bodies As I wake up you are rolling from me I am rolling from you Time to join a new religion Time to overthrow the state Time to demand Marilyn Dan Bern have dyed her hair blue And if she did She might be alive Oh-ohh Henry Miller Oh-ohh Marilyn Monroe Oh-ohh Henry Miller Oh-ohh Marilyn Monroe Marilyn Monroe didn't marry Henry Miller She lived outside the Chick Singers Dan Bern Well this bald headed girl I know sent me a tape of Bjork and Courtney Love And PJ Harvey, called it brilliant women I put it in my car, heard it all the way down to the coast Normally if left Monica Dan Bern I remember Monica at the U.S. Go To Sleep Dan Bern throat singing already If you wanna sing two notes at once Why don't you do like everyone else Get a multi-track machine Lay 'em down separately Make a little harmony Maybe a bass track Like one from the Rome Dan Bern We pulled into Rome With blood in our eyes After days of travelin' Months of lies Taking our various Turns at the wheel Taking booze And pot and cigarettes Anything not to feel No one had slept No one Wasteland Dan Bern I saw the best of my generation playing pinball Make-up on, all caked up Looking like some kind of china doll With all of Adolf Hitler's moves down cold As they stood up in front Of a rock and roll band Estelle Dan Bern I was painting a still life this morning Of a throat lozenge sitting on a copy Of Tropic of Cancer The only thing weird about it Is that a year ago, I never thought I'd paint anything again I decided I Talkin' Alien Abduction Blues Dan Bern I don't know what made me go out that night At that hour I’d normally been in bed But I found myself looking up at the sky And a very bright light straight overhead It flashed green, then red... Cure For Aids Dan Bern The day they found a cure for AIDS The day they found a cure for AIDS Everybody took one little pill and was okay The day they found a cure The day they found a cure for AIDS Everybody took Jesus Freak Dan Bern The day they found a cure for AIDS The day they found a cure for AIDS Everybody took one little pill and was okay The day they found a cure The day they found a cure for AIDS Everybody took Hannibal Dan Bern read it in a book That I finished up just this morning I was happy and I just couldn’t wait to tell the good news To all of my dead uncles When they tore down the Berlin Wall Everybody danced But between Too Late To Die Young Dan Bern The day the Elvis died Was like a mercy killing America breathed A sigh of relief We knew all about the drugs And the Vegas shows And there wasn't much of anything That looked like grief And I guess he Tiger Woods Dan Bern I got big balls, big old balls Big as grapefruits, big as pumpkins Yes sir, yes sir, and on my really good days They swell to the size of small dogs My balls are as big as small dogs Well, Jerusalem Dan Bern When I tell you that I love you Don't test my love Accept my love don't test my love Cause maybe I don't love you all that much Don't ask what kind of music I'm gonna play tonight Just stay awhile Hear Everybody's Baby Dan Bern Can't you see she's everybody's baby Maybe for the summer or fall But don't fall too hard for everybody's baby 'Cause everybody's baby Ain't nobody's gal Take a stroll with everybody's baby Lose yourself Queen Dan Bern Show You Off Dan + Shay "You're like a sugar sweet kiss in the morning sunshine pouring right into my window Cool drink of water in the summer better than the other hah side of the pillow You're everything that i'm not and Tryin' To Try Guy Clark breathin` Just to try and smack you in the heart, if I was smart I`d give up and go back home I`m not tryin` to say I`m sorry I`m trying to say I love you I`m not tryin` to make excuses Nor set myself