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At my funeral Crash Test Dummies I'm still young, but I know my days are numbered 1234567 and so on But a time will come when these numbers have all ended And all I've ever seen will be forgotten Won't you come To my funeral My Enemies Crash Test Dummies I sit and concentrate, and try hard not to hate my enemies I try to picture them dressed up as furry little bunnies But when I look into their glass eyes I can see they're cold and hard and pink Just Shoot Me, Baby Crash Test Dummies Just Shoot Me, Baby Take off your mink coat, take off your muff Get on the table and show us your stuff Right here next to me I'm a fat old man, sweatin' and huffin' A gin in my hand and your pretty Aching To Sneeze Crash Test Dummies Aching To Sneeze I've been aching to sneeze Begging please, pretty please But I can't get the thing to come out I've been down on my knees I've been pissing on trees But the evil thing just The Ghosts That Haunt Me Crash Test Dummies There's a skeleton in everybody's closet I can think of one or two in my own room But I would like to introduce them both to you You'd shake their bony hands and so dispell the gloom [CHORUS] 'Cause An Old Scab Crash Test Dummies I sit each morning Look at my empty notebook The room is quiet The air conditioning sounds like rain falling Manic-depressive composer Robert Schumann When he could not write He'd get down on his There Are Many Dangers Crash Test Dummies rules they have for everything When it's very, very cold out Do not put your tongue on cold metal things For example, stop signs I did and they had to pull some skin off And then they had to fill my Comin' Back Soon (The Bereft Man's Song) Crash Test Dummies I've all my wisdom teeth Two up top, two beneath And yet I'll recognise My mouth says things that aren't so wise But when I sing my darling's praise I know I'm right, or close anyways For she's a In The Days Of The Caveman Crash Test Dummies right out in nature Foraging the forests like a primate Using sharpened tools instead of hotplates Your thumb and forefinger Supposed to show you're not a wild beast But you can hear their noises at God Shuffled His Feet Crash Test Dummies God shuffled His feet And glanced around At them The people cleared their throats And stared right back At Him So he said "once, there was a boy Who woke up with blue hair To him it was a joy God Shuffeled His Feet Crash Test Dummies God shuffled his feet and glanced around at them; The people cleared their throats and stared right back at him So he said: 'Once there was a boy Who woke up with blue hair To him it was a joy Until A Little Something Crash Test Dummies A Little Something There's some stuff on my shoe That's got nothing to do With the places you think that I've been And the stuff on my breath Isn't some kiss of death From the people you think Androgynous Crash Test Dummies She's happy the way she looks, she's happy with her gender And they love each other so, androgynous Closer than you know, love each other so, androgynous Mirror image, see no damage, see no evil at The Country Life Crash Test Dummies This life in the city is killing the love that we one knew We could be happy in the country We would spend so many lovely days We'd have chickens and cows and corn and whatever it is farmers raise At Two Knights And Maidens Crash Test Dummies And they could watch each other The maidens had other plans for the two knights They'd give them potions And make them see dreams and lights The knights took the potions gladly They laughed at Untitled Crash Test Dummies gardens And they could watch each other The maidens had other plans for the two knights They'd give them potions And make them see dreams and lights The knights took the potions gladly They laughed at Our Driver Gestures Crash Test Dummies need to be filled in Then we can go and restart up the engines Plumbing often varies in the various different countries I like to crouch down and turn on those bidets I'll have a cocktail, pick at I m A Dog Crash Test Dummies There's some debate about whether instincts should be held in check Well, I suppose that I'm a liberal in this respect I can't say I liked Robinson Crusoe But at least he didn't tie his dogs up at night A Worm s Life Crash Test Dummies Although you think me cold and slimy I've got a nice home I've tasted your best guacamole And siesta'd at noon in the cool of the soil A worm's life can be easy If you lay low, out of sight Sometimes Here I Stand Before Me Crash Test Dummies My doctor told me that it was time for me to have my X-rays Of course, I had many nightmares about that fatal day The room was dark and my skeleton was floating on the wall My voice trembles down My Own Sunrise Crash Test Dummies hot green jungle Your perfect flesh impervious to anything fungal You would sweat coconut milk and I'd lie awake, restless with the heat during the night Dawn would come and I would start to feel my A Cigarette Is All You Get Crash Test Dummies A Cigarette Is All You Get I'm all freaked out I'm all tweaked out I'm being chased by insects And I wanna eat my cigarettes I can't hang out I'm all strung out I've got to grab me by the I Want To Par-tay! Crash Test Dummies I Want To Par-tay Well looky here now, my oh my I got a bug stuck in my eye I feel the chill right through my coat I got a pill stuck in my throat I'm a man, walking with a stick I'm a man who Afternoons And Coffeespoons Crash Test Dummies There's a breeze that makes my breathing not so easy I've had my lungs checked out with X rays I've smelled the hospital hallways Someday I'll have a disappearing hairline Someday I'll wear pajamas Swatting Flies Crash Test Dummies Now that I've used up all my ideas Here in my little house by the sea I search for a usable memory but none comes to me In grade one, my teacher could do embalming She'd stuff the bodies of dead Afternoons & Coffeespoons Crash Test Dummies There's a breeze that makes my breathing not so easy I've had my lungs checked out with X-rays I've smelled the hospital hallways Someday, I'll have A disappearing hairline Someday, I'll wear Pyjamas The Psychic Crash Test Dummies How can she foresee just by squinting at me and Can she see me naked in her mind's eye? What does she think when she foretells a disease? Would she keep it secret, if death stood before me? Here On Earth (I'll Have My Cake) Crash Test Dummies of tears Not me man I can't pack enough into these years I don't care if it's spring summer winter or fall Make no fuss about the seasons, 'cause I like 'em all [CHORUS] Here on earth I'll have my How Does A Duck Know Crash Test Dummies off and it will keep on running and twitching [CHORUS] When everything seems planned out when everything seems nicely planned out well the human race will come and smack your face How come all my Get You In The Morning Crash Test Dummies with meaning I will come and get you in the morning We'll just go and not give any warning I am the cheap, I'm right here now I'm moving fast, and I've got the feeling I'm going deep, I've made my