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Armchair Sport Chumbawamba Armchair Sport When Grandstand's finished, and Sport On Two And there's nothing much left to do Too lazy to leave the armchair Can only manage to plug in the computer And pretend that this is Not Sport Chumbawamba Not Sport Birds strung on barbed wire hanging in the sun Grouse moors trampled to the crack of guns Greyhounds snapping at a hare on the run Corpse of a fox when the day is done It's killing for Yup and Under Chumbawamba Yup and Under Yuppies, I've been taught, Are keen on sport Two slices wholemeal loaf Into towelette jogging suit Once round the park Quick game of squash Staving off a heart attack With F-Plan Face Jumping Chumbawamba Face Jumping The ancient sport of face-jumping Involved a skill unknown A jump onto a partner's face With ne'er a crack of bone Tom McSmee, a champion, In several tests of skill Could jump into Ashes to Ashes Chumbawamba lights a fag He keeps a packet handy and it's lodged inside his pad Because it's written in his contract that after every over He has to have a smoke just to satisfy the sponsor In a bid to save the sport Eddie The Eagle Chumbawamba Eddie The Eagle Step by step Climbing to the top Eddie the Eagle The epitome of sport Not for the winning Or the advertising deals Not for the money or glory Just for taking part It's like Karl Marx Never Made The Squad Chumbawamba twain shall meet This is a myth, propagated by the bourgeois wordsmiths Who never put a ball in the back of the net Who never padded up or picked up a bat Who never spent an afternoon watching their sport Better Chumbawamba Better Here's a good sport, it's easy to play And as good a way as any of throwing your money away Betting offices, men only Tobacco smoke and radio commentaries Betting companies first past the How Dare They Call It Football? Chumbawamba From Coca-Cola to TV politics Cruise missiles to chicken-in-buckets From words and images to advertising From Colonel Sanders to cop-car sirens And now the American Football circus More showbiz sport The Englishman Abroad Chumbawamba No excuse is good enough Arrogant, ignorant, insensibly pissed When you've nothing to prove, you prove it with your fists This is England's chief export Football hooligans--an embarrassment to the sport Hurling and Imperialism Chumbawamba Hurling and Imperialism Hurling, the national sport of Ireland Was banned in 1366 As part of an Anglo-Norman attempt To crush all Gaelic resistance It failed Over six hundred years of British The Incompatibility of Sport and Cosmic Consciousn Chumbawamba The Incompatibility of Sport and Cosmic Consciousness When I play cricket I'm the longest at the wicket I can jump and swim And I live in the gym But I can't come to terms With my existence as Indoor League Chumbawamba I can't make it the bar Too much sport you understand And too much beer I'll Sithi! Awesome Wheels Chumbawamba Now it's not a sport It's a saleable craze They're screwing us over In a million ways "Sign on the dotted line You know it pays" Who wants a skateboard? I'm giving mine away One-Sided Game Chumbawamba siege So they'll never have a woman in the Football League There ain't nothing like a dame To the moral guardians of the game All the men they get together Squawking, balding birds of a feather Sport Armchair Kathryn Williams, Neill MacColl Love me like an armchair Hang me up on your wall Put me under your pillow Put me up in the hall Open me like a door Like a window you can see through I’ll sweeten you like sugar When the world has ArmcHair Theatre Anne Clark Armchair Theatre The Colourfield Armchair Anarchist Kingmaker Lie Lie Lie Lie Chumbawamba The Rise and Fall and Rise of Greavsie Chumbawamba Tubthumping Chumbawamba Top Of The World (Ol?Ol?Ol? Chumbawamba Just Look At Me Now Chumbawamba Amnesia Chumbawamba Bella Ciao Chumbawamba Brian Chumbawamba Drip Drip Drip (Country & Western Version) Chumbawamba Drip, Drip, Drip Chumbawamba Shhh Chumbawamba