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I Used To Rock And Roll All Night Bob Rivers And now we're gonna give it one more shot. We're gettin' old, We must be crazy. We're puttin' on the makeup again. It covers up a buncha wrinkled skin. You bring the bread, We'll make the gravy. How It Feels (To Be Old) Bob Rivers Lately all the songs I write Are slow and on the mellow side. I used to stand on MTV, But now they bring a chair for me. Getting Fatter All The Time Bob Rivers I'm getting fatter all the time. I used to be size 32 and I never gave. My jeans used to fit, I looked cool. Now I'm not the same. Put on a few pounds, my shape's getting round. There's A Santa Who Looks A Lot Like Elvis Bob Rivers There's a Santa who looks a lot like Elvis The King of Rock and Roll Take a look at the double chin He's weighing about 310 With golden chains and sequined belt below There's a Santa who looks a lot like Rock And Roll Never Forgets Bob Seger So you're a little bit older and a lot less bolder Than you used to be So you used to shake 'em down But now you stop and think about your dignity So now sweet sixteens turned thirty-one You get Read It In The Tabloids Bob Rivers I bet you're wondering how I knew That Prince Charles and Lady Di were through. Was waiting in line at the grocery store. Took a peek at the dirt about Demi Moore. It's The Most Fattening Time Of The Year Bob Rivers It's the most fattening time of the year With that pumpkin pie filling and everyone swilling down eggnog and beer It's the most fattening time of the year It's the lip smackingest season of all while your The Chimney Song Bob Rivers There's something stuck up in the chimney and I don't know what it is, But it's been there all night long. Well, I waited up for Santa all Christmas night But he never came and it don't seem right. Mr. Magoo Bob Rivers Got a flat in Timbuktu Waiting for AAA And I saw that single headlight through the rain Flagged the geezer in the car down, He was going the wrong way We sped away and left rubber on all four lanes He Bowel Moves Bob Rivers I was a little too stuffed, had to lose a few pounds, Pants too tight, seams bustin' out. Just had a big burrito with beans and rice, Salsa on top, with some extra spice, Lots of extra spice. OJ's Trial Thing Bob Rivers O.J., I think you did it. But I wanna know for sure. You expect people to believe that there are people actually playing golf at ten o' clock at night? Ya wanna know what I think? Old Time Rock N Roll Bob Seger Just take those old records off the shelf I'll sit and listen to 'em by myself Today's music ain't got the same soul I like that old time rock n' roll Don't try to take me to a disco You'll never Free As A Turd Bob Rivers It's a piece of crap to me Can hardly hear the words... Whatever happened to, The rights to Love me Do? We made Michael Jackson one rich mother. Christmas Party Song Bob Rivers "The boss's friend is gay" More beer for you and for me And stories for us to share No fear, I jumped on a desk And danced while everyone stared I didn't even know I put on a show Till next morning take I KNEW THE BRIDE Dion Dimucci (I knew the bride when she used to rock and roll) (I knew the bride when she used to rock and roll) Well the bride looks a picture in the gown that her mama wore When she was married herself Who Put The Stump Bob Rivers I'd like to find the guy Who done me wrong And stuck my butt up On this Christmas tree. Who put the stump In my rump-ba-bump-ba-bump? Who took and jammed it In my ram-a-lam-a-ding dong? I Came Upon A Roadkill Deer Bob Rivers I came upon a roadkill deer A sorrowful sight to behold He lay upon the highway's edge His body was stiff and cold I bet he never saw the car Careening through the snow The lights shone brightly Roll Over Beethoven Johnny Rivers I'm gonna write a little letter, gotta mail it to my local DJ Well, it's rockin' little record I want my jockey to play Roll over, Beethoven, I gotta hear it again today You know my temperature's rising Pokemon Bob Rivers [Pokemon mon mon mon Lots of money mon mon mon Pokemon mon mon mon Lots of Money mon mon mon mon We got to find a pokemon Before it's Christmas Eve The kids must have a Pikachu It's called I do Beat Up Old Jetliner Bob Rivers Goodbye to all my friends I've known And the travel agent I trusted. I'm riding along on this beat-up old plane; Look out the window. All the rivets are rusted. Rock and Roll Believer Michael Schenker Group In my younger days we used to rock all night We all had that music in our soul Hangin up in Saphire, or off Old Baldy Road That's where all us knuckleheads would go Bangin to that cold steel on into Joy To The World Bob Rivers The Lord has come Let earth receive her King Let every heart prepare Him room And heaven and nature sing And heaven and nature sing And heaven and heaven and nature sing Joy to the world The Lord has come Bob That Head (Album Version) Rascal Flatts Bob That Head Bob that head Awwh, Awwh, ah Yeah-yeah, yeah,yeah Tricked out truck kit Runnin' boards black lit KC roll bar Had to mow an extra yard Just so he could Install satellite Rascal Flattin'all Officer Fuhrman Bob Rivers He likes to set up colored people. He likes to frame the colored people. Officer Fuhrman driving through Brentwood At night with a glove in his bag, his evidence bag. The Twelve Pains Of Christmas Bob Rivers The first thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me Is finding a Christmas tree The second thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me: Angry husband: Rigging up the lights And finding a Christmas tree O Little Town Of Bethlehem Bob Rivers "Oh little town of Bethlehem, how still we see thee lie Above thy deep and dreamless sleep the silent stars go by Yet in thy dark streets shineth, the everlasting light The hopes and fears of all the years Decorations Bob Rivers I love the colored lights every year And the way the neighbors stop their cars and stare I strap a Santa Claus on my roof Plastic candy canes and reindeer everywhere I'm stringin' up decorations It's straining O Come All Ye Grateful Dead-Heads Bob Rivers "Oh come all ye Grateful Deadheads to the concert Oh come Grateful Deadheads And camp in the street Bring rolling papers Don't forget your sleeping bags Oh come get us some floor seats We followed them He's So Jolly Bob Rivers He's so jolly Santa's so jolly Christmas night he's in his sled where he belongs You're looking great, Santa Lost some weight, Santa Red cheeks glowing, ho-ho-ho'ing, you keep growing strong I feel the Night Moves Bob Seger by Bob Seger I was a little too tall Could've used a few pounds Tight pants points hardly reknown She was a black haired beauty with big dark eyes And points all her own sitting way up high Way