I'm A Weight Watcher Bob Rivers

I'm a Weight Watcher, I'm a Weight Watcher, Watchin' food go by. My, my, my. I'm a Weight Watcher, I'm a plate watcher. Here comes a cream pie Mmmm, mmm, mmm.

Getting Fatter All The Time Bob Rivers

I used to be size 32 and I never gave. My jeans used to fit, I looked cool. Now I'm not the same. Put on a few pounds, my shape's getting round. And lately I can't see my shoes.

He's So Jolly Bob Rivers

He's so jolly Santa's so jolly Christmas night he's in his sled where he belongs You're looking great, Santa Lost some weight, Santa Red cheeks glowing, ho-ho-ho'ing, you keep growing strong I feel the

The Weight Bob Dylan

I pulled into Nazareth just a feelin' 'bout a half past dead I just need to find a place where I can lay my head Mister can you tell me where a man might find a bed?

Watcher In The Sky Gamma Ray

all There`s just emptiness in me Out in the darkness I am going mad Where are the others There`s silence in my head `Cause I`m a watcher in the sky I`ve seen universes die Out in the cold my systems overload

Minimum Wage Bob Rivers

-Welcome to BurgerDoodle, can I have your order please? -Oh yes. I'd like a Spiffy Burger with low fat cheese and an order of seasoned curly fries but only if they're cooked in virgin peanut oil.

Bowel Moves Bob Rivers

I was a little too stuffed, had to lose a few pounds, Pants too tight, seams bustin' out. Just had a big burrito with beans and rice, Salsa on top, with some extra spice, Lots of extra spice.

Read It In The Tabloids Bob Rivers

I bet you're wondering how I knew That Prince Charles and Lady Di were through. Was waiting in line at the grocery store. Took a peek at the dirt about Demi Moore.

Middle Age Waistline Bob Rivers

(Baba O'Riley - The Who) I eat Mrs.

I Came Upon A Roadkill Deer Bob Rivers

I came upon a roadkill deer A sorrowful sight to behold He lay upon the highway's edge His body was stiff and cold I bet he never saw the car Careening through the snow The lights shone brightly

A Letter To Santa Bob Rivers

Dear Santa Claus, It has been brought to my attention by one of our operatives that you have secured for yourself, and your interests, a very lucrative position in the toy and game industry.

When A Man Loves A Chicken Bob Rivers

When a man loves a chicken He can't keep his mind on nothin' else, He stay in the barn for the good thing he's found. If he is henpecked he can't see it; she can't do no wrong.

The Twelve Pains Of Christmas Bob Rivers

Oh, I hate those Christmas cards! Hangovers Rigging up these lights!

Christmas Party Song Bob Rivers

It's Christmas time and I'm in trouble Got too drunk at the company affair Sat on the copier, wore no apparel Did it on a dare Insulted the boss and French-kissed a stranger Pinched his butt poured beer

Mr. Magoo Bob Rivers

Got a flat in Timbuktu Waiting for AAA And I saw that single headlight through the rain Flagged the geezer in the car down, He was going the wrong way We sped away and left rubber on all four lanes He

I Used To Rock And Roll All Night Bob Rivers

It covers up a buncha wrinkled skin. You bring the bread, We'll make the gravy. You keep on standin', We'll keep on singin. I used to rock and roll all night But now my hair's turning gray.

Beat Up Old Jetliner Bob Rivers

Beat-up old jetliner, Hope you got a tune-up today. Ohhhh, beat-up old jetliner, Did they sneak you past the FAA? Bouncin' 'round in a thunder cloud, Landing gear won't come down.

Who Put The Stump Bob Rivers

Who took and jammed it In my ram-a-lam-a-ding dong? Who stood the wood Where I poop-she-poop-she-poop? Who put the stick Up my hipty-dipty-dip? Who was that man?

Flu Ride Bob Rivers

box of antihistamines too We'll bring some Kleenex with us And sing a chorus or two Let's let my red nose lead us In a sleigh ride in spite of the flu Hack it up hack it up fling it up let's go Phlegm

The Chimney Song Bob Rivers

There's something stuck up in the chimney and I don't know what it is, But it's been there all night long. Well, I waited up for Santa all Christmas night But he never came and it don't seem right.

How It Feels (To Be Old) Bob Rivers

Lately all the songs I write Are slow and on the mellow side. I used to stand on MTV, But now they bring a chair for me.

OJ's Trial Thing Bob Rivers

O.J., I think you did it. But I wanna know for sure. You expect people to believe that there are people actually playing golf at ten o' clock at night? Ya wanna know what I think?

The Twisted Chipmunk Song Bob Rivers

Christmas, Christmas time is near Time for toys and time for cheer We've been good, but we can't last Hurry Christmas, hurry fast Want a plane that loops the loop Me, I want a hula hoop We can hardly stand

Watcher In The sky Iron Savior

all there`s just emptiness in me Out in the darkness I am going mad Where are the others there`s silence in my head `Cause I`m a watcher in the sky I`ve seen universes die Out in the cold my systems overload

Watcher In The Sky (Live At WOA) Iron Savior

all there`s just emptiness in me Out in the darkness I am going mad Where are the others there`s silence in my head `Cause I`m a watcher in the sky I`ve seen universes die Out in the cold my systems overload

I Am Santa Claus Bob Rivers

I am Santa Claus Ho ho ho ho ho Flying Through the snow Can you hear him ho ho ho He's so full of cheer only has to work one day a year Children in their beds Visions of sugar plums fill their heads

There's Another Santa Claus Bob Rivers

Santa Claus There's another Santa Claus there Everywhere you look you can't escape There's Santas everywhere Bells are ringing, children screaming Something doesn't seem right His beard is gray, that's a

Wrong Foot Amputated Bob Rivers

Wrong foot amputated Wrong foot amputated He got the wrong foot amputated The doctor had compassion he tried to cure my disease I was sweating on the way to the op room gave me sedatives to put me at ease

Decorations Bob Rivers

I love the colored lights every year And the way the neighbors stop their cars and stare I strap a Santa Claus on my roof Plastic candy canes and reindeer everywhere I'm stringin' up decorations It's straining

Pokemon Bob Rivers

[Pokemon mon mon mon Lots of money mon mon mon Pokemon mon mon mon Lots of Money mon mon mon mon We got to find a pokemon Before it's Christmas Eve The kids must have a Pikachu It's called I do

Homeless On the Holidays Bob Rivers

Oh there’s food for the homeless on the holidays Cause no matter how filthy or uncombed If you’re down on your luck you can really graze For the holidays we throw those bums a bone I met a man who drank

Jingle Hells Bells Bob Rivers

Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Like Guns N Roses with Axel Rose spittin' Ozzie's black eyes and the bats that he's bitten Big Marshall stacks and a broken E-string These are a few of my favorite things Ho Ho Ho Penthouse

There's A Santa Who Looks A Lot Like Elvis Bob Rivers

There's a Santa who looks a lot like Elvis The King of Rock and Roll Take a look at the double chin He's weighing about 310 With golden chains and sequined belt below There's a Santa who looks a lot like

Chipmunks Roasting On An Open Fire Bob Rivers

Everybody knows some pepper and a garlic clove Help to make them seasoned right Tiny rats with a crisp golden coat Will really hit the spot tonight And now when Santa sees his tray (Ho ho ho ho ho

Foreigners Bob Rivers

We sneak across your border lines, To stand in unemployment lines, We chip in to buy a car, Drive back home to get some more Foreigners...

Walkin' 'Round In Women's Underwear Bob Rivers

In the store, there's a teddy. With little straps, like spagetti. It holds me so tight, like handcuffs at night. Walking around in womens underwear In the office there's a guy named Melvin.

Buttcracker Suite Bob Rivers

“Dance of the Plumber Fairy” See the repair man go Tink-a-tink, tink-a-tink, tink-a-tink Working on the sink (Bending way down low) See the big tool belt go Slippy-slip, slippy-slip, slippy-slip Sliding

Carol Of The Bartenders Bob Rivers

Hark all they got Tales seem to flow Gin tinkling More Chardonnay Christmas is here Drinking the cheer Ice cubes are cold More Cuervo Gold Don't be a dink Watch what you drink Don't be a dork Don't pop

Free As A Turd Bob Rivers

It's a piece of crap to me Can hardly hear the words... Whatever happened to, The rights to Love me Do? We made Michael Jackson one rich mother.

Officer Fuhrman Bob Rivers

Officer Fuhrman driving through Brentwood At night with a glove in his bag, his evidence bag. Waits at the Bronco; opens the window To leave a few drops on the floor, a smudge on the door.

Spinning Reel Bob Rivers

(Spinning Wheel - Blood, Sweat & Tears) Rod goes up Line goes out Spinning reel Fishing for trout Casting toward the bubbles and you reel it in Hook a speckled rainbow watch the spinning reel spin You

Manger 6 Bob Rivers

We know you have been traveling a lot this holiday season and you've probably been told there is no room at the Inn. Well, that's just not the case here at Manger 6.

The Angel Bob Rivers

The angel rides with hunch-backed children, poison oozing from his engine Wieldin' love as a lethal weapon, on his way to hubcap heaven Baseball cards poked in his spokes, his boots in oil he's patiently

It's The Most Fattening Time Of The Year Bob Rivers

the mall It's the heav-heaviest season of all There'll be turkeys for basting and stuffing for tasting and giblets and gravy will flow there'll be cookies that mom baked and leftover fruit cake from a

Door Watcher Emily Ritz

snow Lick the spoon Grip the light Suck the flavor Choke the tight Trouble the danger Fade the night Crush me later Spit the knife Dirty the bather Follow the dark Aim your laser Made your mark Stayed a

Grahbe Yahbalz Bob Rivers

Whipple fa la la la la la la la la la You’ll always get a big reaction fa la la la la la la la la la If you grab your balls like Michael Jackson fa la la la la la la la la la Merry Christmas Bubbles Grab

Wreck The Malls Bob Rivers

with their muzak system Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la Trade something for Twisted Sister Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la Wreck the pet store, do some damage Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la Send the beagles on a

The Watcher Dr. DRE

Dre Cause everywhere that I go ain't the same as befo' (the watcher) People I used to know just don't know me no mo' (the watcher) But everywhere that I go I got people I know (the watcher) who

The watcher Dr. DRE

Dre Cause everywhere that I go ain't the same as befo' (the watcher) People I used to know just don't know me no mo' (the watcher) But everywhere that I go I got people I know (the watcher) who

All You Need Is Elves Bob Rivers

Elves, elves, elves Do you have any idea how hard it is to make a 64-bit video system out of wood? Ho, ho, let me tell you, it ain't easy. No kidding! Tell me about it!