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Half Of Him Beautiful South Why forbidden fruit Always looks so sweet Hanging down like devil's food From highest branch on tree Yes, woman should be satisfied Be happy with her lot But sometimes half of him Seems better than the My Book (Single Version) Beautiful South This is my life and this is how it reads For every chapter, a thousand memories A murder, a mystery where everybody bleeds A fantasy, a thriller with romance and disease Diary entry 9th of May '62 We've Half Hearted Get (Is Second Best) Beautiful South I've only got one real fan She is not woman she is not man She's got her own coat of arms and her tartan and her own clan Her clan surpasses beauty always love and never duty A beauty that feels so alien A Little Piece Of Advice Beautiful South Guard your body with the best barbed wire And ward off foe with the fiercest of fire But let love unguarded into the strangest of nights Wear your dresses like they're up for hire And leave them with your Baby Please Go Beautiful South You've heard it said a thousand times But only heard his Broadway lines So baby please go, ain't, ain't part of the show Cause when your Romeo needs no cue or prompt The likelier your little heart be stomped One Last Love Song Beautiful South I once had a friend who I loved from my heart But I went on and left her 'fore I'd made a start Now I'm moaning the blues like the rest of the charts Take me back So I'll cry with a limp Just get by on Worthless Lie Beautiful South when there's just one I'd raise a bigger smile if I could But me minus you equals none Our paths will cross some day Our paths will cross some day When you're out fishing and I'm sat wishing You instead of Just A Few Things That I Ain't Beautiful South When you called me a useless druggie At least you got half of it right When you called me a hopeless alcoholic I'm only hopeless after nine at night And when I said you came staggering home blind drunk The Gates Beautiful South improvement I won't mind the extra squeeze I've got a few more birds down there, after losing bees Trying to lose their bees So don't be shocked who queue-jumps Or who just calmly waits A certain type of The Sound Of North America Beautiful South Ginger Elvis Presley looked a fraction sad Roaming the whole town from bin to bin Well living on the streets wasn't all that bad Where no-one seemed to know that he was King The sound of New York City Mother's Pride Beautiful South (Heaton/Rotheray) Here he comes - Mother's Pride With the first ever satchel she bought him swinging by his side Here he comes Mother's Pride With a headful of 'get your laces tied' and 'woe betide' My Book (Single Version) The Beautiful South Rotheray) This is my life and this is how it reads For every chapter, a thousand memories A murder, a mystery where everybody bleeds A fantasy, a thriller with romance and disease Diary entry 9th of Final Spark Beautiful South Well the dice that I roll never seems to land on six And that 48 card pack is short of some of my old tricks The horse I bet on all those years ago Is probably still running round the track Like the marriage You Keep It All In Beautiful South He was just a social drinker but social every night He enjoyed a pint or two or three or four She was just a silent thinker, silent every night He'd enjoy the thought of killing her before Well he was Tonight I Fancy Myself Beautiful South She'd brought along the oranges He'd brought the tea They both brought along a sick-bag just in case The plate of chicken sandwiches Were lovely, they agreed And I watched him spit the bits into her face I'll Sail This Ship Alone (Single Version) Beautiful South If, if you choose that we will always lose Well then I'll sail this ship alone And if, if you decide to give him another try Well then I'll sail this ship alone Well they said if I wrote the perfect love Hold On To What ? Beautiful South She'd given everything she could give Twenty years of kindness made her sad Kindness never made enough to live So she sold the very last thing that she had As she held her hand out to him As he drove around Hold Me Close Beautiful South She'd given everything she could give Twenty years of kindness made her sad Kindness never made enough to live So she sold the very last thing that she had As she held her hand out to him As he drove around Property Quiz Beautiful South And if he wants to be smart and enter a property quiz Every weed in the garden's mine but the lawnmower's his Every weed in the garden's mine but the lawnmower's his And if his manhood needs the help of One Last Love Song The Beautiful South (Heaton/Rotheray) I once had a friend who I loved from my heart But I went on and left her fore I d made a start Now I m moaning the blues like the rest of the charts Take me back So I ll cry For The Love Of A Woman Joe South little sister and your brother You know you'd walk for miles Just for one of her smiles yes, you would I don't know what I'm gonna do, I feel the same way too For the love of a woman For the love of a Alone The Beautiful South (Heaton/Rotheray) Like the contents of your handbag You don't know why it's there People ask you where you're heading You just answer "anywhere" We don't mean to be this vague It just happens Let Go With The Flow Beautiful South you're courtin' now Used to be a super-swot And the clothes he thinks look retro Are more 'Land That Time Forgot' And if he knows where he was standin' When J.F.K was shot Chances are though time's passed him Mini-Correct Beautiful South rubber sheath I won't have what I've got for you stolen by no thief 'Cause the safest sex I've ever had was hanging from a tree So you've left me for another pretty face That's not true I left you for one half The Sound Of North America The Beautiful South Ginger Elvis Presley looked a fraction sad Roaming the whole town from bin to bin Well living on the streets wasnt all that bad Where no-one seemed to know that he was King The sound of New Hidden Jukebox Beautiful South so l may have been drinking You can come drink over here And we'll fuck them off over there Whisky for the Greek and the Turk Gin for the Arab and the Jew A double arsenic for Mister Le Pen Cause it's him Have Fun Beautiful South Have fun And if you can't have fun Have someone else's fun 'Cause someone sure had mine They came in now they're having a whale of a time You should grow a beard A beard to tell a thousand stories never Prettiest Eyes (Single Version) Beautiful South Line One is the time That you, you first stayed over at mine And we drank our first bottle of wine And we cried Line Two we're away And we both, we both had nowhere to stay Well the bus-shelter's always Prettiest Eyes Beautiful South Line One is the time That you, you first stayed over at mine And we drank our first bottle of wine And we cried Line Two we're away And we both, we both had nowhere to stay Well the bus-shelter's always Tupperware Queen Beautiful South This reign of plastic That replaced the reign of gold Couldn't have known that you Would feel so undersold If love was built on hindsight Then you surely would have seen You were joining hands With the