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Tables and Chairs Andrew Bird Before she tears you apart You better stop, stop going places Where you know that she goes I've heard all the stories It's just another pose You'll only get rejected Just when you think, you've scored And Armchairs Andrew Bird I dreamed you were a cosmonaut Of the space between our chairs And I was a cartographer Of the tangles in your hair I sang the song that silence brings It's the one that everybody knows, everybody knows Cataracts Andrew Bird And when our mouths are filled with uninvited tongues of others And the strays are pining for their unrequited mothers Milk that sours is promptly spat, light will fill our eyes like cats And they shall Natural Disaster Andrew Bird Look upon the field of snow and find the desert sea Under the ice the springs will flow to release Fecundates like a natural disaster, disaster From the first drop of water to the rage of Niagara Collapse Fitz And The Dizzyspells Andrew Bird Comes and goes Like in fits and dizzy spells Like the weather And it blows Like it knows what's going wrong Like it's clever Has a name but the name goes unspoken Weather wanes Were all twisted Fake Palindromes Andrew Bird You should have died with the monsters what talk Monsters what walk the earth And she's got red lipstick, and a bright pair of shoes And she's got knee high socks, what to cover a bruise She's got an old Oh Sister Andrew Bird Our Father would not like the way that you act And you must realize the danger. Oh, sister, am I not a brother to you And one deserving of affection? Tenuousness Andrew Bird Tenuous at best was all he had to say When pressed about the rest of it, the world that is From proto-Sanskrit Minoans to Porto-centric Lisboans Greek Cypriots and and harbor-sorts who hang around in Darkmatter Andrew Bird When I was just a little boy I threw away all of my action toys While I became obsessed with Operation With hearts and minds and certain glands You gotta learn to keep a steady hand And thus began my morbid Bein' Green Andrew Bird the leaves When you could be something so much nicer Like red or yellow Aquamarine or something more colorful like that It's not easy bein' green It seems you blend in with all kinds of ordinary things And Heretics Andrew Bird to a tongue so sing a song about it Held a breath for too long till we're half sick about it Tell us what we did wrong, then you can blame us for it Turn the clamp on our thumbs so we're down about it And The Happy Birthday Song Andrew Bird Well, I knew a man named Campbell He'd cheat and steal and gamble And I guess, he tried most everything lowdown He was out tomcattin' last night When he got in a great big fight And then a big policeman How You Gonna Keep 'Em Down On The Farm Andrew Bird Reuben, Reuben, I've been thinking Said his wifey dear Now that all is peaceful and calm The boys will soon be back on the farm Mister Reuben started winking and slowly rubbed his chin He pulled his chair MX Missiles Andrew Bird together we stand divided we fall Come on now people let's all get on the ball Let's work together Come on, come one, let's work together Here here now because together we will stand Every boy, every woman and Oh No Andrew Bird salsify mains of what was thought but unsaid All the calcified arithmetists were doing the math It would take a calculated blow to the head To light the eyes of all the harmless sociopaths Oh, arm and Spare-Ohs Andrew Bird The finches and sparrows build nests in my chimney With remains of the small flightless birds that you failed to protect But the yolk isn't easy in fact it's a drag As they're blowin' through cornfields Simple X Andrew Bird Some people wake up on Monday mornings Barring maelstroms and red flare warnings With no explosions and no surprises Perform a series of exercises Hold your fire Take your place around an open fire Before A Nervous Tic Motion Of The Head To The Left Andrew Bird Over prescribed under the mister we had survived to turn on the history channel and ask our esteemed panel why are we alive and here's how they replied you're what happens when two substances collide The Trees Were Mistaken Andrew Bird This is a story, some kind of a story this is a story about about a boy and girl, a girl and a boy, a boy. ( ), only fighting. that some boy in the dark while he learned to evolve inverted crystal mountain Auld Lang Syne Andrew Bird Should old acquaintance be forgot And never brought to mind Should all acquaintance be forgot And auld lang syne For auld lang syne my dear For auld lang syne We'll take a cup o' kindness yet For auld Skin Is, My Andrew Bird Cement shoes, so that you sink much quicker 'Cause me, I gotta have it, one way or the other I'm takin' out your family, your sister and your mother And your brother, undercover I got to keep my ass clean The Naming Of Things Andrew Bird Met the girl I, I love in a town way down in Dixie Beneath the stars up above She was the sweetest girl I ever did see So I held her in my arms and told her of her many charms I kissed her while the guitars Sweetbreads Andrew Bird When I was a little boy I threw away my action toys I became obsessed with operation with Hearts and minds and certain glands You learn to keep a steady hand And thus began a morbid fascination with... First Song Andrew Bird to hear the pond frogs all calling on his ear They were calling on his ear They were calling on his ear with what seemed their joy Soon the sound was pleasant for a boy Listening in the smoky dusk and Way Out West Andrew Bird Elder Green is dead and gone Lost his way going to town Don't know who he is or what he's done But it sure sounds sweet rolling off the tongue Yeah it sure sounds sweet rolling off the tongue If I was Sovay Andrew Bird And a feeling like you've been here before 'cause you've been here before And you've been here before ? Then a word washed to shore a word washed to shore a word washed to shore ? Scythian Empires Andrew Bird Five day forecast bring black tall rains and hellfire While handpicked tenderness kid gloves tear at the inseam Their Halliburton Attach？？ Don't Be Scared Andrew Bird whenever paul thinks of rain, swallows fall in a wave and tap on his window with their beaks whenever paul thinks of snow, soft winds blow round his head and his phone rings just once late at Opposite Day Andrew Bird I got home this morning with the sun right in my eyes And there was no warning as it took me by surprise as it Hit me like an Act of God, causing my alarm That I had now become a cephalopod I still Sisyphus Andrew Bird Did he raise both fists and say, "To hell with this" and just let the rock roll?