ode to my car Adam Sandler

Here we go Piece of shit car I got a piece of shit car That fuckin' pile of shit Never gets me very far My car's a big piece of shit 'Cause the shocks are fucking shot And my seatbelt's fucking

Cool Guy 5 Adam Sandler

[Sean pulling up in his car to a hooker] [GIRL #5:] Hey, honey. [SEAN:] S'up baby? Looking all smooth, standing on the corner at 3 in the morning and shit. You cold, baby?

Memory Lane Adam Sandler

screeches, he drops out of the car] [M4:] "Hey, screw you guys I am who I am deal with it" [M1:] "I'm glad we got rid of him his was a wierdo" [M3:] "Oh my God, that was a little out there, hey

Toll Booth Willie Adam Sandler

Car approaches] Toll Booth Willie: "Welcome to Worchester. Dollar twenty-five please." M1: "Hey, how ya doin' Toll Booth Willie?" Toll Booth Willie: "Good! Thanks fer askin, pop!"

The Buffoon and the Valedictorian Adam Sandler

Buffoon: "That girl in the fucking car in front of us, she gives everybody head." Valedictorian: "Well, I guess she's strong for attention and she feels promiscuity is the only way to obtain it."

Forgetful Lucy Adam Sandler

La-woo-kee-low is the place Where I first saw your face We liked each other right away But you didn’t remember me the very next day Forgetful Lucy Has got a nice caboose-ie I used to trick you

The Adventures Of The Cow Adam Sandler

the chicken hot drivethru and then gets halfway home before realising they forgot his french fries" [Cow opening paper bag] [Cow:] Moo,moo [Car screeches, and turns back around] [Cow:] Mrr "And now a

Best Friend Adam Sandler

When I'm at the bus stop and you drive by in your mom's car You tell me the bus already left Cause you're my best friend!

Dee Wee (My Friend The Massive Idiot) Adam Sandler

He said he'd be here at seven The clock just hit 7:22 It's too cold outside To wait for my ride Watching mama try out a new doo (Bruins) He said he'd be here at seven But it just hit 7:35 (already?)

Teenage Love on the Phone Adam Sandler

Do you wanna meet Samantha: "Umm, well my brother gets the car on Friday nights." Richie: "Well that's ok, I'll come by and get you. Lets say around..." [She hangs up phone] Richie: "Come on.."

Inner Voice Adam Sandler

A god among men, only without the tan It's simple, every time I have to make a choice I just listen to my little inner voice, and he says "Shave all the hair off your butt and glue it to your nostrils"

Do It For Your Mama Adam Sandler

I'm just going to put some on my face so I don't get sunburnt." Momma: "Smart thinking honey. And while yer at it you can put some on your brother's ding dong and knock around his nuts for him."

Sex Or Weight Lifting Adam Sandler

My name's Gregory Miner. [Adam Sandler:] Oh terrific. My name's Barry Lakin. [Man:] Uh huh [Adam Sandler:] And let me tell you what I did man.

Welcome My Son Adam Sandler

Welcome my son to your very first day So proud to be the one who brought you this way I love you with all my heart And my love is here to stay But I can't help worrying will you eventually smoke weed?

corduroy blues Adam Sandler

When I was a boy There was no limit to what I could eat Shake after shake after shake after shake Followed by all kinds of red meat Metabolism runnin' around so fast My body never gained to weight

four years old Adam Sandler

Hey Why'd you wake me from my nap? I'm not in the mood To play your games Or sit on your lap You Where's my Yankees drinking glass?

the lonesome kicker Adam Sandler

Me, I'm the Lonesome Kicker Extra points, field goals at your service One might think it comes with glory You might think different after you listen to my story My helmet is equipped with a tiny

The Lonesome Kicker (Album Version) Adam Sandler

Me, i'm the lonesome kicker Extra points, field goals at your service One might think it comes with glory You might think different after you listen to my story My helmet is equipped with a tiny face

at a medium place Adam Sandler

Put your arms around me baby Can't you see I need you so Hold me close against your skin I'm about to begin Lovin' you Spit on your hand and stroke my cock At a medium pace Play with my balls

Whitey Adam Sandler

Whitey: Oh they day cant begin Till the gard lets me in Then I walk for some exersise In less then a snap I complete my daily lap Then it's time to SOCILIZE I see Raidy and Ruth at the Information Booth

The Mule Session Adam Sandler

My girlfriend left me for a seven foot Indian My grandma hung herself on a tree in the Caribbean My sister's on the dope and my brother always picks his nose And Daddy's only happy when he's wearing Mama's

Mr. Bake-O Adam Sandler

I'm sit'n in my chair Watching my TV It's not even on But theres plenty for me to see I just lit, some crazy ass shit That my friend overnight mailed to me I'm fuckin wasted It's the best shit i ever tasted

Cool Guy 4 Adam Sandler

[Sean presses 'play' button on tape player] [SEAN:] My name's Sean, I want to get it on. [GIRL #4:] Ooh.

my little chicken Adam Sandler

When I'm feeling down And feeling sad You come around And make me glad I got you Oh, my little chicken I love your feet I love your breasts I love the way you eat gravel To help you digest

At a Medium Pace Adam Sandler

Hold me close against your skin, 'Cause I'm about to begin Lovin' you. Spit on your hand and stroke my cock at a medium pace. Play with my balls and tell me how big they are.

Crazy Love Adam Sandler

And you don't have a problem with me when I follow people I've never met before and force them to look at the portrait of Neil Diamond I have tattooed on my back [Adam:] It's very pretty, baby [Both:]

mr. bake Adam Sandler

I'm sitting in my chair watching the TV It's not even on but there's plenty for me to see I just lit some crazy ass shit that my friend overnight mailed to me I'm fucking wasted It's the best

Secret Adam Sandler

There's something I know That no one else does You want me to tell you what it is?

the thanksgiving song Adam Sandler

[Starts playing] Love to eat turkey Love to eat turkey Shout from Crowd: "I love you Adam!" Adam Sandler: "Ohhh, I love you!"

Pibb Tries The Skateboarding Adam Sandler

Snug as a bug in a rug playin Dig Dug, my friend! Uh huh... I'm all set to give this skitchboard a whirl! Okay, we should really put a helmet on you first...

Secret (Orange Factory's 'Shhh Don't Tell Club') Adam Sandler

Things haven't been the same Since you came into my life You found a way to touch my soul And I'm never, ever, ever gonna let it go Happiness lies in your own hand It took me much too long to understand

The Amazing Willy Wanker Adam Sandler

his fly Pulls his weapon from his camouflage pants Slaps away til it starts to dance A shootin star's above my bed Changin colors of my mushroom head A rainbow jizz flys across the room Little white spermies

Sweet Beatrice Adam Sandler

Hangin' with my sweet amour She came out with a lion's roar Yellin' "I'm goin' to the corner store," Be back at quarter to four "Don't slam you pinkies in the drawer" She can be like a maiden from

Cool Guy 2 Adam Sandler

[GIRL #2:] Oh my god. [SEAN:] Yeah. [GIRL #2:] And how about you take off clothes, Sean. [SEAN:] Oh, oh is that right, baby? You want me to show my stuff, too?

Cool Guy 1 Adam Sandler

Slowly, slide them to the ground. [taking down her panties] (Gasps) yeah, baby yeah. That's what I'm talking about. [GIRL:] It's my turn sean. Let me take down your pants.

sweat beatrice Adam Sandler

Hanging with my sweet amour She came out with a lion's roar Yelling, "I'm going to the corner store, Be back at quarter to four" "Don't slam your pinkies in the drawer" She can be like a maiden

The Mayor Of Pussytown Adam Sandler

hit me more than a cow says moo afraid of heights i'm a-scared in the dark i walk an extra 3 miles to avoid crazy fucks in the park denied by the bloods, turned down by the crypts my fuckin auntie kicked

Somebody kill me Adam Sandler

you don't know how much I need you while your near me I don't feel blue And when we kiss I know you feel it to.

Somebody kill me Adam Sandler

you don't know how much I need you while your near me I don't feel blue And when we kiss I know you feel it to.

lunchlady land Adam Sandler

know everything's doing fine Down here in Lunchlady Land Well I wear this net on my head 'Cause my red hair is fallin' out I wear these brown orthopedic shoes 'Cause I got a bad case of the gout

The Goat Song (Album Version) Adam Sandler

Would you like to live with me?

What The Hell Happened To Me? Adam Sandler

I used to ride a big wheel. And sell lemonade. Eat popcorn with Grandpa while we watched a parade. But now I'm only happy when I'm drinkin' J.D. What the hell happened to me?

Calling Home Adam Sandler

When you hand them out to the other kids, you say 'hi, my name's Tyler, here's to a sweet first year at college!' Uh... okay...

Listenin' To The Radio Adam Sandler

Where's my Peggy Sue? I could use a Rosalita If there's a Long Tall Sally out there I'm dyin' to meet her Why can't I hear Beth callin' me? Why can't I be the one to make Sara smile?

The Buffoon and the Dean of Admissions Adam Sandler

Dean: "Well Michael, I would like to extend my warmest congradulations on your upcoming graduation and I understand you are interested in matriculating here in the fall."

The Goat Adam Sandler

Would you like to live with me?

the goat song Adam Sandler

Would you like to live with me?

The Excited Southerner At A Job Interview Adam Sandler

[Adam Sandler:] And now the excited Southerner has a job interview. [Man:] So why don't you tell me why you would be an asset to this company.

moyda Adam Sandler

Schnine He's a pretty good guy He's nice to his neighbors You can count on him to buy your school candy bars He's a real nic guy He's always got the jumper cables He'll take your mail in when you're

red hooded sweatsuit Adam Sandler

My mom bought you when I was just 13, the brightest red sweatshirt I ever seen. She got an extra large so I wouldn't grow out, "That's too big for you!" the other kids would shout.