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Welcome My Son Adam Sandler Welcome my son to your very first day So proud to be the one who brought you this way I love you with all my heart And my love is here to stay But I can't help worrying will you eventually smoke weed? The Buffoon and the Dean of Admissions Adam Sandler Dean: "Well Michael, I would like to extend my warmest congradulations on your upcoming graduation and I understand you are interested in matriculating here in the fall." Toll Booth Willie Adam Sandler Car approaches] Toll Booth Willie: "Welcome to Worchester. Dollar twenty-five please." M1: "Hey, how ya doin' Toll Booth Willie?" Toll Booth Willie: "Good! Thanks fer askin, pop!" Do It For Your Mama Adam Sandler I'm just going to put some on my face so I don't get sunburnt." Momma: "Smart thinking honey. And while yer at it you can put some on your brother's ding dong and knock around his nuts for him." the lonesome kicker Adam Sandler Me, I'm the Lonesome Kicker Extra points, field goals at your service One might think it comes with glory You might think different after you listen to my story My helmet is equipped with a tiny The Lonesome Kicker (Album Version) Adam Sandler Me, i'm the lonesome kicker Extra points, field goals at your service One might think it comes with glory You might think different after you listen to my story My helmet is equipped with a tiny face Pickin' Daisies Adam Sandler it's okay, mama will take care of you) not really sick, but don't you know i still say i am dad just mumbles, 'there goes my girlie son actin' up again' ("how could you be my kid?") Calling Home Adam Sandler I'm okay at basketball... baseball was more my thing.... Well, uh, I think they have a pickup game goin on at 10 AM tomorrow morning in the main gym for us freshmen You playin? Sex Or Weight Lifting Adam Sandler My name's Gregory Miner. [Adam Sandler:] Oh terrific. My name's Barry Lakin. [Man:] Uh huh [Adam Sandler:] And let me tell you what I did man. my little chicken Adam Sandler When I'm feeling down And feeling sad You come around And make me glad I got you Oh, my little chicken I love your feet I love your breasts I love the way you eat gravel To help you digest Secret Adam Sandler Shhh don't tell, Shhh don't tell I trimmed my buuuuuu-shhh don't tell I trimmed my buuuuuu-shhh don't tell And nobody knows that my bush is cut low as I dance and I sing and I put on a show And i'm feeling Best Friend Adam Sandler clothes You're my best friend! at a medium place Adam Sandler Put your arms around me baby Can't you see I need you so Hold me close against your skin I'm about to begin Lovin' you Spit on your hand and stroke my cock At a medium pace Play with my balls At a Medium Pace Adam Sandler Spit on your hand and stroke my cock at a medium pace. Play with my balls and tell me how big they are. Honey rub your beaver up and down my face. food innuendo guy Adam Sandler Ooooh yeah Baby, baby, baby, I wanna stew your tomato Baby, baby, baby, I want to french fry your potato Baby, baby, baby, won't you pluck my grapes Won't you peel my banana like a pack of wild apes Secret (Orange Factory's 'Shhh Don't Tell Club') Adam Sandler Things haven't been the same Since you came into my life You found a way to touch my soul And I'm never, ever, ever gonna let it go Happiness lies in your own hand It took me much too long to understand The Amazing Willy Wanker Adam Sandler his fly Pulls his weapon from his camouflage pants Slaps away til it starts to dance A shootin star's above my bed Changin colors of my mushroom head A rainbow jizz flys across the room Little white spermies The Mule Session Adam Sandler My girlfriend left me for a seven foot Indian My grandma hung herself on a tree in the Caribbean My sister's on the dope and my brother always picks his nose And Daddy's only happy when he's wearing Mama's Mr. Bake-O Adam Sandler I'm sit'n in my chair Watching my TV It's not even on But theres plenty for me to see I just lit, some crazy ass shit That my friend overnight mailed to me I'm fuckin wasted It's the best shit i ever tasted Crazy Love Adam Sandler Adam:] You don't mind that I think everybody's a robot and all my conversations are being recorded [Lisa:] And you don't mind that all of my pants are way too short on me and I also stabbed someone with mr. bake Adam Sandler I'm sitting in my chair watching the TV It's not even on but there's plenty for me to see I just lit some crazy ass shit that my friend overnight mailed to me I'm fucking wasted It's the best sweat beatrice Adam Sandler Hanging with my sweet amour She came out with a lion's roar Yelling, "I'm going to the corner store, Be back at quarter to four" "Don't slam your pinkies in the drawer" She can be like a maiden Sweet Beatrice Adam Sandler Hangin' with my sweet amour She came out with a lion's roar Yellin' "I'm goin' to the corner store," Be back at quarter to four "Don't slam you pinkies in the drawer" She can be like a maiden from corduroy blues Adam Sandler When I was a boy There was no limit to what I could eat Shake after shake after shake after shake Followed by all kinds of red meat Metabolism runnin' around so fast My body never gained to weight four years old Adam Sandler Hey Why'd you wake me from my nap? I'm not in the mood To play your games Or sit on your lap You Where's my Yankees drinking glass? zitty van zittles Adam Sandler Well, I had myself a girlfrield For almost two whole years We had no secrets We had no fears There was nothing we wouldn't do When we were in the sack She'd even pop the zit on my back But one Pibb Tries The Skateboarding Adam Sandler Snug as a bug in a rug playin Dig Dug, my friend! Uh huh... I'm all set to give this skitchboard a whirl! Okay, we should really put a helmet on you first... The Mayor Of Pussytown Adam Sandler ain't seen shit yet eh yo man let em know Oh yeah, guess who's back it's the mother fuckin pussy with the little nutsack don't care about cheddar or the paper chase i'm a fuckin grown man with zits on my Zittly Van Zittles Adam Sandler well i had myself a girlfriend for almost two whole years we had ourselves no secrets we had no fears there was nothin we wouldn't do when we were in the sack she'd even pop a zit on my back one night ode to my car Adam Sandler Here we go Piece of shit car I got a piece of shit car That fuckin' pile of shit Never gets me very far My car's a big piece of shit 'Cause the shocks are fucking shot And my seatbelt's fucking