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The Goat Song (Album Version) Adam Sandler The Goat Song I am a simple goat I live on the back of a pick-up truck The Old Man tied me here with a 3-foot rope Am I happy he don't give a fuck He's filled with anger, and filled with rage And the goat song Adam Sandler boat, the Old Man told me I would be a present for his wife "A talking goat!" The Goat Adam Sandler boat, the Old Man told me I would be a present for his wife "A talking goat!" The Lonesome Kicker (Album Version) Adam Sandler mask What it possibly could protect, i do not know The other guys on the team Like to make fun of my little shoulder pads And also like to hide the special shoe I need to kick in the snow People the thanksgiving song Adam Sandler "They wanna hear the thanksgiving song! All right.." "This is uhh, This is the Thanksgiving Song" "I hope you enjoy it." the chanuka song Adam Sandler This is a song that uhh.. There's a lot of Christmas songs out there and uhh.. not too many Chanukah songs. So uhh.. The Chanukah Song Adam Sandler Put on your yarmulke Here comes Chanukah So much funukah To celebrate Chanukah Chanukah is the festival of lights Instead of one day of presents, we have eight crazy nights When you feel like the only the chanukah song part ii Adam Sandler Simpson Still not a Jew But guess who is, The guy who does the voice for Scooby Doo Bob Dylan was born a Jew Then he wasn't but now he's back, Mary Tyler Moore's husband is Jewish 'Cause we're the beating of a high school janitor Adam Sandler "And now, the sever beating of a high school janitor." Forgetful Lucy Adam Sandler La-woo-kee-low is the place Where I first saw your face We liked each other right away But you didn’t remember me the very next day Forgetful Lucy Has got a nice caboose-ie I used to trick you The Excited Southerner Meets Mel Gibson Adam Sandler [Adam Sandler:] And now the excited Southerner gets to meet his favorite film actor, Mel Gibson. [Man:] Mr. Gibson? lunchlady land Adam Sandler "This is a song..." "This is uhh, This is a new song..." "It's through the eyes of one of the greatest people alive, I feel..." 7 Foot Man (Live) Adam Sandler We just wrote this song on the bus the other day so just sit back and relax I'm the 7 foot man, I've commited no crime, Bumping my head into doorways, It happens all the time, I'm 7 feet tall, And I repeat The Mule Session Adam Sandler My girlfriend left me for a seven foot Indian My grandma hung herself on a tree in the Caribbean My sister's on the dope and my brother always picks his nose And Daddy's only happy when he's wearing Mama's Memory Lane Adam Sandler "Hey, it reminds me of smelling a pussy" [all agree] [M2:] "It reminds me of smelling an ass" [all agree] [M4:] "It reminds me of smelling a 60 year old guys ass" [car screeches, he drops out of the dip doodle Adam Sandler Zippity doo dang lipidee ay oompa loompa doo A piggly wiggly dooda stinky winky linky foo man choo Plus you gotta dip, you gotta doodle, you gotta shave Grandma's poodle 'Cause Grandma would do the Inner Voice Adam Sandler I'm happily married with a house and three mistresses Even with the beard I'm not as hairy as my sister is Got a new Hummer, two Ferraris, and some Lexuses And all the girls I know got the big big breasteses Sex Or Weight Lifting Adam Sandler [Adam Sandler] : Hey how ya doin'? My name's Barry Lakin and I'm here with the man on the street quiz. This weeks's show is a doozy man, it really is. The Boss And The Secretary Adam Sandler No, to the left! Left? Damn, bitch, do I gotta do everything? Pull down my pants! O.. Okay... Now the tighty whities, pull that shit down too Mmmm.... Watch out now, here it comes! Boing! The Buffoon and the Valedictorian Adam Sandler And now the buffoon's date at the drive-in with the school's valedictorian." Valedictorian: "I really appreciate you're asking me out. Most people are intimidated by my high academic achievement." The Adventures Of The Cow Adam Sandler And now a cow at bat in the bottom of the 6th inning of a little league game getting hit by a pitch" [Baseball sounds and cow bell ringing,ball is hit and hits cow] [Cow:] Moo "And now a cow who goes skydiving The Hypnotist Adam Sandler Stewart: Basically I just want you to sit back and relax let yourself sit back and relax and sink into the chair, and , um, just feel comfortable and trust me. The Peeper Adam Sandler The peeper, The peeper, Whats going through his head? Whoah! Climbing the tree. Slowly, quietly, Looking for next branch. Found it, got it. Window height, great view. Settlin' in, keepin it quiet. The Champion Adam Sandler she about to fall from grace In the land of the rising sun shadows are falling again The die is cast, the future and past coming to her at last Oh, oh, oh All she needed was a Champion Oh, oh, oh Crying The Cheerleader Adam Sandler We'll be 'cause we're the Tigers, we're out for vic-tor-y - Yeah!" [No response] Cheerleader: "Come on you guys! I wanna hear you!" [Still no response] Cheerleader: "Come on! Joining The Cult Adam Sandler Because this guy, Russell he's the leader-guy of the cult " Allen: " yeah " Sandler: " he was rambling on during one of the speeches about the sun being bad, like the beast can't come out because the The Excited Southerner Orders A Meal Adam Sandler Hi, how are you...I was...if you could, tell me, if you...eh, the chef salad, if it, does it come, if you come... a la carte, if you see the...I saw the breakfast menu and the, and they got the, and the lonesome kicker Adam Sandler face mask What it possibly could protect, I do not know The other guys on the team Like to make fun of my little shoulder pads And also like to hide the special shoe I need to kick in the snow Whitey Adam Sandler have rigged the hearing lady at Ben and Jerry's Shake Then I go to Pet Land where the manager stands has about to be the dangorous stake Then I pass the tie rack on my way to Radioshack where I pretent The Buffoon and the Dean of Admissions Adam Sandler And now a buffoon's meeting with the dean of admissions at a prestigious college."