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The Excited Southerner Proposes To A Woman Adam Sandler Setting: A restaurant with music playing in the background] "And now the Excited Southerner proposes to a girl." Girl: "You wanted to ask me something?" Excited Southerner: "Yes, I did. The Excited Southerner At A Job Interview Adam Sandler [Adam Sandler:] And now the excited Southerner has a job interview. [Man:] So why don't you tell me why you would be an asset to this company. The Excited Southerner Meets Mel Gibson Adam Sandler [Adam Sandler:] And now the excited Southerner gets to meet his favorite film actor, Mel Gibson. [Man:] Mr. Gibson? The Excited Southerner Gets Pulled Over Adam Sandler [Adam Sandler:] And now the excited Southerner gets pulled over by a cop. [Cop:] Do you realize how fast you were going sir? The Excited Southerner Orders A Meal Adam Sandler Hi, how are you...I was...if you could, tell me, if you...eh, the chef salad, if it, does it come, if you come... a la carte, if you see the...I saw the breakfast menu and the, and they got the, and What The Hell Happened To Me? Adam Sandler I used to ride a big wheel. And sell lemonade. Eat popcorn with Grandpa while we watched a parade. But now I'm only happy when I'm drinkin' J.D. What the hell happened to me? Sex Or Weight Lifting Adam Sandler [Adam Sandler] : Hey how ya doin'? My name's Barry Lakin and I'm here with the man on the street quiz. This weeks's show is a doozy man, it really is. Creepin' On The Mayor Adam Sandler Gotta be somewhere to hide around here! No bushes, no trees, what the fuck!? I'll just hide my ass in this garbage can! There we go, safe and sound... No motherfucker's gonna find me here! The Buffoon and the Valedictorian Adam Sandler I think her maternal biology may play a role in that. She looks fabulous for a woman her age, doesn't she?" Buffoon: "I put a firecracker in a bullfrog's mouth and blew his fuckin' head off." at a medium place Adam Sandler Put your arms around me baby Can't you see I need you so Hold me close against your skin I'm about to begin Lovin' you Spit on your hand and stroke my cock At a medium pace Play with my balls At a Medium Pace Adam Sandler Hold me close against your skin, 'Cause I'm about to begin Lovin' you. Spit on your hand and stroke my cock at a medium pace. Play with my balls and tell me how big they are. The Goat Adam Sandler I've got a house with a pick-up truck In a place across the sea" I said, "Sure, why not, I've got no family You seem like a nice guy" So we went off to America The home of the apple pie On the voodoo Adam Sandler Leaf Blower Man Keep it down for goodness sake It's way too early in the morning Can't you please use your wooden rake? red hooded sweatsuit Adam Sandler But we stuck together, we didn't quit, and now the children say, "What a perfect fit." Red Hooded Sweatshirt Adam Sandler But we stuck together, we didn't quit, and now the children say, "What a perfect fit." I love you sweeeeatshirt red hooded sweeeeatshirt dip dip dip sweeeeatshirt shama lama ding dong sweeeeatshirt. the goat song Adam Sandler I've got a house with a pick-up truck In a place across the sea" I said, "Sure, why not, I've got no family You seem like a nice guy" So we went off to America The home of the apple pie On the The Goat Song (Album Version) Adam Sandler I've got a house with a pick-up truck In a place across the sea" I said, "Sure, why not, I've got no family You seem like a nice guy" So we went off to America The home of the apple pie On the boat Crazy Love Adam Sandler a pair of scissors a long time ago (ha-ha-ha) [Adam:] And you don't care that I collect dead animals from the side of the road then pretend they're alive and think I'm a famous football player [Lisa:] The Boss And The Secretary Adam Sandler Okay, a little lower, though... Umm... alright... Little... little lower... Yeah? No, to the left! Left? Damn, bitch, do I gotta do everything? Pull down my pants! O.. Okay... The Champion Adam Sandler she about to fall from grace In the land of the rising sun shadows are falling again The die is cast, the future and past coming to her at last Oh, oh, oh All she needed was a Champion Oh, oh, oh Crying The Mule Session Adam Sandler pantyhose, yeah I just lost my job to a God damn robot (Good times!) Inner Voice Adam Sandler I got a ten story mansion on the beach With a swimmin' pool filled up with the drool of Robin Leach Richer than a Twinkie, I got so much cash That to me Paris Hilton is poor white trash I take forty-seven Whitey Adam Sandler Whitey: Oh they day cant begin Till the gard lets me in Then I walk for some exersise In less then a snap I complete my daily lap Then it's time to SOCILIZE I see Raidy and Ruth at the Information Booth The Hypnotist Adam Sandler Gary Phelps: To be honest with you, I saw your name in the Yellow Pages, and It said you're good at this stuff, so I just, I gotta give it a shot, just kick this whole cigarette thing... Dr. The Adventures Of The Cow Adam Sandler And now a cow at bat in the bottom of the 6th inning of a little league game getting hit by a pitch" [Baseball sounds and cow bell ringing,ball is hit and hits cow] [Cow:] Moo "And now a cow who goes skydiving ode to my car Adam Sandler broken I got to tie it in a knot (It's a piece of shit) I can't see through the windshield 'Cause it's got a big fucking' crack And the interior smells real bad 'Cause my friend puked in the back Listenin' To The Radio Adam Sandler I could use a Rosalita If there's a Long Tall Sally out there I'm dyin' to meet her Why can't I hear Beth callin' me? Why can't I be the one to make Sara smile? corduroy blues Adam Sandler That pissed off all my Momma's friends And made my big-boned sister irate But now I'm a man And all that frolicking has caused my ego to hurt 'Cause even when I'm in the shower alone I'm to embarrased Joining The Cult Adam Sandler Sandler: "Hey, don't fuck me on this, man, just sign up." Allen: "No, I'm not going to join a cult!" Sandler: "I can't believe you're pulling this shit on me after Monday night " Allen: "What? She Comes Home To Me Adam Sandler Though I have been a fool for love I have finally made my score I got a girl, and I don't mean to boast But she loves me the most Even though she's a highly paid whore She'll give head to a sheep She can