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The Excited Southerner Gets Pulled Over Adam Sandler [Adam Sandler:] And now the excited Southerner gets pulled over by a cop. [Cop:] Do you realize how fast you were going sir? The Excited Southerner Meets Mel Gibson Adam Sandler [Adam Sandler:] And now the excited Southerner gets to meet his favorite film actor, Mel Gibson. [Man:] Mr. Gibson? The Excited Southerner Proposes To A Woman Adam Sandler Setting: A restaurant with music playing in the background] "And now the Excited Southerner proposes to a girl." Girl: "You wanted to ask me something?" Excited Southerner: "Yes, I did. The Excited Southerner At A Job Interview Adam Sandler [Adam Sandler:] And now the excited Southerner has a job interview. [Man:] So why don't you tell me why you would be an asset to this company. The Excited Southerner Orders A Meal Adam Sandler Hi, how are you...I was...if you could, tell me, if you...eh, the chef salad, if it, does it come, if you come... a la carte, if you see the...I saw the breakfast menu and the, and they got the, and The Adventures Of The Cow Adam Sandler for the very first time, and thinks his parachute isn't gonna open when it finnally does 40 feet from the ground" [Plane sounds] [M1:] Alright cow, don't even think about just jump and enjoy the ride What The Hell Happened To Me? Adam Sandler What the hell happened to me? I used to have fun throwing snowballs. With my best friend Billy. Then Mom would make us cocoa if we got too chilly. But now I only get excited when I see a girl pee. Do It For Your Mama Adam Sandler [Sails over and falls to the ground] Jimmy: "Nice throw. Right over the fence and into the Chasen's yard." Momma: "Don't get all huffy puffy. I'll get it. Momma will make everything all right. ode to my car Adam Sandler Here we go Piece of shit car I got a piece of shit car That fuckin' pile of shit Never gets me very far My car's a big piece of shit 'Cause the shocks are fucking shot And my seatbelt's fucking The Buffoon and the Valedictorian Adam Sandler And now the buffoon's date at the drive-in with the school's valedictorian." Valedictorian: "I really appreciate you're asking me out. Most people are intimidated by my high academic achievement." Secret (Orange Factory's 'Shhh Don't Tell Club') Adam Sandler How it could be Until you shared your secret with me Mmm mmm (skip for the first two times) Something's comin' over, mmm mmm Something's comin' over, mmm mmm Something's comin' over me My baby's got a Pickin' Daisies Adam Sandler what's the matter honey, are you not feeling well? The Respect Chant Adam Sandler Respect Respect You gotta show the fucking respect [Repeat Over And Over Respect Adam Sandler Respect You gotta show the fucking respect Over And Over The Longest Pee Adam Sandler "Oh Man" [.......gets louder] "OH MAN" [..........and louder] "OH MAN!!" [............as loud as a hose] "OH MAN!!! OH.." [...........] "Oh no!" [........] "Oh Man!" Teenage Love on the Phone Adam Sandler Hey Richie, my dad's down the hall, and he doesn't want me on the phone. So if I hang up on you, it's just because he's coming." Richie: "Ok. Gay Robot Adam Sandler Nah, it was my neighbor, his robot's comin over What? Yeah, he built a robot a while ago and the robot came out gay Yo, we're out of Hunnyduffers so I grabbed a couple of Gooseheads... Secret Adam Sandler But if I did that then it wouldn't be, a secret I've gotta move my body tonight, I'm gonna go dancin' Dreamin' bout the nights at the club, with the fun and romancin' Mommy sees the look in my eyes, she mr. bake Adam Sandler I'm sitting in my chair watching the TV It's not even on but there's plenty for me to see I just lit some crazy ass shit that my friend overnight mailed to me I'm fucking wasted It's the best Mr. Bake-O Adam Sandler I think they fuckin laced it Cause i'm so damb lambaseted Well my friend came over So i packed him a pipe I told him he better go easy with this shit But he didnt beleave the hype He sparked three bowls Oh Mom... Adam Sandler Silverware clicking] M1: "Can you pass the beats please?" F1: "Here you go" M1: "Thanks" Brad: "Hey Mom, guess what? I got invited to a party tonight! And I'm gonna go if that's ok with you." At a Medium Pace Adam Sandler Now sit on the corner of the bed and watch me whack off. You see that shampoo bottle? Now, stick it up my ass. Push it in and out at a medium pace. The Buffoon and the Dean of Admissions Adam Sandler And now a buffoon's meeting with the dean of admissions at a prestigious college." The Goat Adam Sandler Present day, I've been on the truck for 51 years My only friend is the AM radio Sometimes the neighborhood children stop by But it's always rocks and beer bottles they throw At first they're excited Forgetful Lucy Adam Sandler La-woo-kee-low is the place Where I first saw your face We liked each other right away But you didn’t remember me the very next day Forgetful Lucy Has got a nice caboose-ie I used to trick you the goat song Adam Sandler Present day, I've been on the truck for 51 years My only friend is the AM radio Sometimes the neighborhood children stop by But it's always rocks and beer bottles they throw At first they're excited The Goat Song (Album Version) Adam Sandler Present day, I've been on the truck for 51 years My only friend is the AM radio Sometimes the neighborhood children stop by But it's always rocks and beer bottles they throw At first they're excited The Boss And The Secretary Adam Sandler You know what I need Uh, no I don't, sir I want you to come on over here, fish my cock out of these trousers, and suck on it for a while! Sir, I don't think I can do something like that! She Comes Home To Me Adam Sandler Though I have been a fool for love I have finally made my score I got a girl, and I don't mean to boast But she loves me the most Even though she's a highly paid whore She'll give head to a sheep She can lunchlady land Adam Sandler "It's through the eyes of one of the greatest people alive, I feel..."