The Excited Southerner At A Job Interview Adam Sandler

[Adam Sandler:] And now the excited Southerner has a job interview. [Man:] So why don't you tell me why you would be an asset to this company.

The Excited Southerner Proposes To A Woman Adam Sandler

Setting: A restaurant with music playing in the background] "And now the Excited Southerner proposes to a girl." Girl: "You wanted to ask me something?" Excited Southerner: "Yes, I did.

The Excited Southerner Gets Pulled Over Adam Sandler

[Adam Sandler:] And now the excited Southerner gets pulled over by a cop. [Cop:] Do you realize how fast you were going sir?

The Excited Southerner Meets Mel Gibson Adam Sandler

[Adam Sandler:] And now the excited Southerner gets to meet his favorite film actor, Mel Gibson. [Man:] Mr. Gibson?

The Excited Southerner Orders A Meal Adam Sandler

Hi, how are you...I was...if you could, tell me, if you...eh, the chef salad, if it, does it come, if you come... a la carte, if you see the...I saw the breakfast menu and the, and they got the, and

What The Hell Happened To Me? Adam Sandler

I used to ride a big wheel. And sell lemonade. Eat popcorn with Grandpa while we watched a parade. But now I'm only happy when I'm drinkin' J.D. What the hell happened to me?

The Mule Session Adam Sandler

My girlfriend left me for a seven foot Indian My grandma hung herself on a tree in the Caribbean My sister's on the dope and my brother always picks his nose And Daddy's only happy when he's wearing Mama's

Cool Guy 5 Adam Sandler

[Sean pulling up in his car to a hooker] [GIRL #5:] Hey, honey. [SEAN:] S'up baby? Looking all smooth, standing on the corner at 3 in the morning and shit. You cold, baby?

four years old Adam Sandler

I'm not in the mood To play your games Or sit on your lap You Where's my Yankees drinking glass?

Sid & Alex Adam Sandler

[telephone rings] I'll be up in a few! Hello? Hey, Sid, it's Alex. Just callin to wish ya a happy birthday, man. Alex, Alex, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you for remembering, thank you.

The Goat Adam Sandler

I am a simple goat I live on the back of a pick-up truck The Old Man tied me here with a 3-foot rope Am I happy he don't give a fuck He's filled with anger, and filled with rage And tells me I smell

the lonesome kicker Adam Sandler

Me, I'm the Lonesome Kicker Extra points, field goals at your service One might think it comes with glory You might think different after you listen to my story My helmet is equipped with a tiny

The Lonesome Kicker (Album Version) Adam Sandler

Me, i'm the lonesome kicker Extra points, field goals at your service One might think it comes with glory You might think different after you listen to my story My helmet is equipped with a tiny face

The Goat Song (Album Version) Adam Sandler

The Goat Song I am a simple goat I live on the back of a pick-up truck The Old Man tied me here with a 3-foot rope Am I happy he don't give a fuck He's filled with anger, and filled with rage And

the goat song Adam Sandler

I am a simple goat I live on the back of a pick-up truck The Old Man tied me here with a 3-foot rope Am I happy he don't give a fuck He's filled with anger, and filled with rage And tells me I

Crazy Love Adam Sandler

a pair of scissors a long time ago (ha-ha-ha) [Adam:] And you don't care that I collect dead animals from the side of the road then pretend they're alive and think I'm a famous football player [Lisa:]

Whitey Adam Sandler

Whitey: Oh they day cant begin Till the gard lets me in Then I walk for some exersise In less then a snap I complete my daily lap Then it's time to SOCILIZE I see Raidy and Ruth at the Information Booth

Pibb Tries The Skateboarding Adam Sandler

Snug as a bug in a rug playin Dig Dug, my friend! Uh huh... I'm all set to give this skitchboard a whirl! Okay, we should really put a helmet on you first...

at a medium place Adam Sandler

Put your arms around me baby Can't you see I need you so Hold me close against your skin I'm about to begin Lovin' you Spit on your hand and stroke my cock At a medium pace Play with my balls

Calling Home Adam Sandler

I'm okay at basketball... baseball was more my thing.... Well, uh, I think they have a pickup game goin on at 10 AM tomorrow morning in the main gym for us freshmen You playin?

At a Medium Pace Adam Sandler

Spit on your hand and stroke my cock at a medium pace. Play with my balls and tell me how big they are. Honey rub your beaver up and down my face.

Oh Mom... Adam Sandler

Silverware clicking] M1: "Can you pass the beats please?" F1: "Here you go" M1: "Thanks" Brad: "Hey Mom, guess what? I got invited to a party tonight! And I'm gonna go if that's ok with you."

The Adventures Of The Cow Adam Sandler

And now a cow at bat in the bottom of the 6th inning of a little league game getting hit by a pitch" [Baseball sounds and cow bell ringing,ball is hit and hits cow] [Cow:] Moo "And now a cow who goes skydiving

The Champion Adam Sandler

she about to fall from grace In the land of the rising sun shadows are falling again The die is cast, the future and past coming to her at last Oh, oh, oh All she needed was a Champion Oh, oh, oh Crying

Dee Wee (My Friend The Massive Idiot) Adam Sandler

He said he'd be here at seven The clock just hit 7:22 It's too cold outside To wait for my ride Watching mama try out a new doo (Bruins) He said he'd be here at seven But it just hit 7:35 (already?)

The Buffoon and the Dean of Admissions Adam Sandler

And now a buffoon's meeting with the dean of admissions at a prestigious college."

The Peeper Adam Sandler

The peeper, The peeper, Whats going through his head? Whoah! Climbing the tree. Slowly, quietly, Looking for next branch. Found it, got it. Window height, great view. Settlin' in, keepin it quiet.

steve polychronopolous Adam Sandler

- "Polychronopolous" I'm a big fuckin' dick I'm a pain in your ass I drink all your beer I'll eat the last slice I'll give you charley horses I'll pull your shorts down at the beach I always

Sweet Beatrice Adam Sandler

Hangin' with my sweet amour She came out with a lion's roar Yellin' "I'm goin' to the corner store," Be back at quarter to four "Don't slam you pinkies in the drawer" She can be like a maiden from

sweat beatrice Adam Sandler

Hanging with my sweet amour She came out with a lion's roar Yelling, "I'm going to the corner store, Be back at quarter to four" "Don't slam your pinkies in the drawer" She can be like a maiden

moyda Adam Sandler

Schnine He's a pretty good guy He's nice to his neighbors You can count on him to buy your school candy bars He's a real nic guy He's always got the jumper cables He'll take your mail in when you're

Best Friend Adam Sandler

When I'm at the bus stop and you drive by in your mom's car You tell me the bus already left Cause you're my best friend!

The Buffoon and the Valedictorian Adam Sandler

And now the buffoon's date at the drive-in with the school's valedictorian." Valedictorian: "I really appreciate you're asking me out. Most people are intimidated by my high academic achievement."

bad boyfriend Adam Sandler

I had the beer at work, for God's sake Fuck you! By the way, would it be cool to go golfing tommorrow? Fuck you!

Pickin' Daisies Adam Sandler

mom knows i'm fakin' it, but she understands what'll happen if i go the last four days the tough guys have been on a roll (they show him no mercy) plenty of name calling and pushing my head in the toilet

The Mayor Of Pussytown Adam Sandler

about cheddar or the paper chase i'm a fuckin grown man with zits on my face a straight up chicken shit a pansy ass punk If i'm if i'm guarding your ass it's an automatic slam dunk while thugs are at

The Hypnotist Adam Sandler

Gary Phelps: To be honest with you, I saw your name in the Yellow Pages, and It said you're good at this stuff, so I just, I gotta give it a shot, just kick this whole cigarette thing... Dr.

red hooded sweatsuit Adam Sandler

But we stuck together, we didn't quit, and now the children say, "What a perfect fit."

Red Hooded Sweatshirt Adam Sandler

But we stuck together, we didn't quit, and now the children say, "What a perfect fit." I love you sweeeeatshirt red hooded sweeeeatshirt dip dip dip sweeeeatshirt shama lama ding dong sweeeeatshirt.

Toll Booth Willie Adam Sandler

Toll Booth Willie: "The state charges a dollar twenty-five, pop." M2: "That's fine. Now should I give you the money, or should I shove the quarters directly up your fat ass!?"

Joining The Cult Adam Sandler

sun's too bright and the sun hurts his eyes or something you show up all sunburned and that guy's gonna get pissed at you and me!"

the chanuka song Adam Sandler

This is a song that uhh.. There's a lot of Christmas songs out there and uhh.. not too many Chanukah songs. So uhh..

Memory Lane Adam Sandler

] [M4:] "It reminds me of smelling a 60 year old guys ass" [car screeches, he drops out of the car] [M4:] "Hey, screw you guys I am who I am deal with it" [M1:] "I'm glad we got rid of him his was

Do It For Your Mama Adam Sandler

Momma: "You don't know how to tug on the cock and balls? You need momma to show you? Get me a carrot, sweetheart. Where are you going!?" J.N.: "Mom, where's the suntan lotion?"

Inner Voice Adam Sandler

I'm happily married with a house and three mistresses Even with the beard I'm not as hairy as my sister is Got a new Hummer, two Ferraris, and some Lexuses And all the girls I know got the big big breasteses

the thanksgiving song Adam Sandler

[Starts playing] Love to eat turkey Love to eat turkey Shout from Crowd: "I love you Adam!" Adam Sandler: "Ohhh, I love you!"

Assistant Principal's Big Day Adam Sandler

Speaking through a microphone] "Good morning students and faculty, If I could have your attention please.

Teenage Love on the Phone Adam Sandler

Hey Richie, my dad's down the hall, and he doesn't want me on the phone. So if I hang up on you, it's just because he's coming." Richie: "Ok.

mr. bake Adam Sandler

I'm sitting in my chair watching the TV It's not even on but there's plenty for me to see I just lit some crazy ass shit that my friend overnight mailed to me I'm fucking wasted It's the best

Mr. Bake-O Adam Sandler

I think they fuckin laced it Cause i'm so damb lambaseted Well my friend came over So i packed him a pipe I told him he better go easy with this shit But he didnt beleave the hype He sparked three bowls