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The Boss And The Secretary Adam Sandler Reach in there and get yourself some candy Okay... Okay, a little lower, though... Umm... alright... Little... little lower... Yeah? No, to the left! Left? Damn, bitch, do I gotta do everything? The Excited Southerner At A Job Interview Adam Sandler [Adam Sandler:] And now the excited Southerner has a job interview. [Man:] So why don't you tell me why you would be an asset to this company. Pibb Goes Surfing Adam Sandler So listen to me for a sec, when the set comes in, just stay flat on the board, pointed towards the beach. I'll tell you when to start paddelin, and keep paddelin til the wave grabs you I hear ya! The Adventures Of The Cow Adam Sandler And now a cow at bat in the bottom of the 6th inning of a little league game getting hit by a pitch" [Baseball sounds and cow bell ringing,ball is hit and hits cow] [Cow:] Moo "And now a cow who goes skydiving The Hypnotist Adam Sandler Stewart: Basically I just want you to sit back and relax let yourself sit back and relax and sink into the chair, and , um, just feel comfortable and trust me. The Goat Adam Sandler I am a simple goat I live on the back of a pick-up truck The Old Man tied me here with a 3-foot rope Am I happy he don't give a fuck He's filled with anger, and filled with rage And tells me I smell The Cheerleader Adam Sandler We'll be 'cause we're the Tigers, we're out for vic-tor-y - Yeah!" [No response] Cheerleader: "Come on you guys! I wanna hear you!" [Still no response] Cheerleader: "Come on! The Buffoon and the Valedictorian Adam Sandler And now the buffoon's date at the drive-in with the school's valedictorian." Valedictorian: "I really appreciate you're asking me out. Most people are intimidated by my high academic achievement." Sex Or Weight Lifting Adam Sandler [Adam Sandler] : Hey how ya doin'? My name's Barry Lakin and I'm here with the man on the street quiz. This weeks's show is a doozy man, it really is. Dancin` And Pantsin` Adam Sandler But I found a place where the stars hang out And they taught me how to funk Real nasty It ain't too far away It's just on the edge of town Nearby But be ready when you get there 'Cause these folks the lonesome kicker Adam Sandler on the goal line But some of the players were running into them And getting hurt So screw the kicker Who cares about the kicker? The Lonesome Kicker (Album Version) Adam Sandler the goal line But some of the players were running into them And getting hurt So screw the kicker Who cares about the kicker? The Excited Southerner Orders A Meal Adam Sandler Hi, how are you...I was...if you could, tell me, if you...eh, the chef salad, if it, does it come, if you come... a la carte, if you see the...I saw the breakfast menu and the, and they got the, and The Chanukah Song Adam Sandler Put on your yarmulke Here comes Chanukah So much funukah To celebrate Chanukah Chanukah is the festival of lights Instead of one day of presents, we have eight crazy nights When you feel like the only Whitey Adam Sandler Whitey: Oh they day cant begin Till the gard lets me in Then I walk for some exersise In less then a snap I complete my daily lap Then it's time to SOCILIZE I see Raidy and Ruth at the Information Booth the thanksgiving song Adam Sandler [Starts playing] Love to eat turkey Love to eat turkey Shout from Crowd: "I love you Adam!" Adam Sandler: "Ohhh, I love you!" The Champion Adam Sandler she about to fall from grace In the land of the rising sun shadows are falling again The die is cast, the future and past coming to her at last Oh, oh, oh All she needed was a Champion Oh, oh, oh Crying the chanuka song Adam Sandler Put on your yarmulke Here comes Chanukah So much funukah To celebrate Chanukah Chanukah is the festival of lights Instead of one day of presents, we have eight crazy nights When you feel like the lunchlady land Adam Sandler and cheese But don't forget to return your trays And try to ignore my gum disease No student can escape the magic of Lunchlady Land Hoagies & grinders, hoagies & grinders Hoagies & grinders, hoagies The Amazing Willy Wanker Adam Sandler The amazing Willy Wanker! (Aaaah!) The amazing Willy Wanker! And my scrotum sack he says Lalalalalala, tickle me! Inner Voice Adam Sandler I'm happily married with a house and three mistresses Even with the beard I'm not as hairy as my sister is Got a new Hummer, two Ferraris, and some Lexuses And all the girls I know got the big big breasteses the goat song Adam Sandler I am a simple goat I live on the back of a pick-up truck The Old Man tied me here with a 3-foot rope Am I happy he don't give a fuck He's filled with anger, and filled with rage And tells me I The Goat Song (Album Version) Adam Sandler The Goat Song I am a simple goat I live on the back of a pick-up truck The Old Man tied me here with a 3-foot rope Am I happy he don't give a fuck He's filled with anger, and filled with rage And The Mule Session Adam Sandler My girlfriend left me for a seven foot Indian My grandma hung herself on a tree in the Caribbean My sister's on the dope and my brother always picks his nose And Daddy's only happy when he's wearing Mama's Secret Adam Sandler But if I did that then it wouldn't be, a secret I've gotta move my body tonight, I'm gonna go dancin' Dreamin' bout the nights at the club, with the fun and romancin' Mommy sees the look in my eyes, she The Excited Southerner Gets Pulled Over Adam Sandler [Adam Sandler:] And now the excited Southerner gets pulled over by a cop. [Cop:] Do you realize how fast you were going sir? Joining The Cult Adam Sandler Sandler: " I wanted to watch Monday Night Football and you wanted to watch that other show and we watched your show I did that for you!" Allen: "Yeah, well, you kept flippin' back to the game." The Excited Southerner Proposes To A Woman Adam Sandler Setting: A restaurant with music playing in the background] "And now the Excited Southerner proposes to a girl." Girl: "You wanted to ask me something?" Excited Southerner: "Yes, I did. The Respect Chant Adam Sandler Respect Respect You gotta show the fucking respect [Repeat Over And Over Mr. Bake-O Adam Sandler , spent the last two hours Hiding under my bed Cause i looked in the garbage can And i think i saw my uncle louies head I'm fuckin wasted Well my friend blew a hit Into my pet birds face The bird laughed