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The Beating of a High School Science Teacher Adam Sandler And now the severe beating of a high school science teacher." [Lecturing] "Zinc is by far the best element." "I also like plutonium." "It's just fun to say." "Plutonium." the beating of a high school spanish teacher Adam Sandler "And now the severe beating of a high school spanish teacher." [Lecturing] [Writing on chalk board] "Juan es muy guapo." [Door opens, walking towards her] "Hola." "Senor?" the beating of a high school janitor Adam Sandler "And now, the sever beating of a high school janitor." the beating of a high school bus driver Adam Sandler "And now, the sever beating of a high school bus driver." [Kids getting on the bus] "How are ya, Bryan?" "Good morning, Lisa." "Good to see ya, Tommy!" "Hey, good morning, Cyle! The Buffoon and the Dean of Admissions Adam Sandler And now a buffoon's meeting with the dean of admissions at a prestigious college." Best Friend Adam Sandler When I'm at the bus stop and you drive by in your mom's car You tell me the bus already left Cause you're my best friend! moyda Adam Sandler Schnine He's a pretty good guy He's nice to his neighbors You can count on him to buy your school candy bars He's a real nic guy He's always got the jumper cables He'll take your mail in when you're The Mule Session Adam Sandler Then my dog got in the freeze box, he ate everything I got But I've got my mule He's a very, very nice mule He walks with me home from school Cause he's a very, very nice mule When he was a baby my mother The Cheerleader Adam Sandler Sound of pom-poms] Cheerleader: [With annoying feminine voice] "Ok you guys, let's hear some spirit!" [Performing cheer] Cheerleader: "United, we are united.. The Mayor Of Pussytown Adam Sandler in 9 duce i got pissed on 10 times I roll solo i ain't got no clue i said please don't hit me more than a cow says moo afraid of heights i'm a-scared in the dark i walk an extra 3 miles to avoid crazy Assistant Principal's Big Day Adam Sandler Speaking through a microphone] "Good morning students and faculty, If I could have your attention please. The Buffoon and the Valedictorian Adam Sandler And now the buffoon's date at the drive-in with the school's valedictorian." Valedictorian: "I really appreciate you're asking me out. Most people are intimidated by my high academic achievement." The Goat Adam Sandler I am a simple goat I live on the back of a pick-up truck The Old Man tied me here with a 3-foot rope Am I happy he don't give a fuck He's filled with anger, and filled with rage And tells me I smell Pickin' Daisies Adam Sandler mom knows i'm fakin' it, but she understands what'll happen if i go the last four days the tough guys have been on a roll (they show him no mercy) plenty of name calling and pushing my head in the toilet I'm so Wasted Adam Sandler [Sound of crickets. Guy walks across grass] [Joe:] "Hey pal! How ya doin?" [M2:] "I'm so wasted, man." [Joe:] "Yeah, you are, oh ho ho!" [M2:] "Thanks man." [Joe:] "It's good party, huh?" The Goat Song (Album Version) Adam Sandler The Goat Song I am a simple goat I live on the back of a pick-up truck The Old Man tied me here with a 3-foot rope Am I happy he don't give a fuck He's filled with anger, and filled with rage And the goat song Adam Sandler I am a simple goat I live on the back of a pick-up truck The Old Man tied me here with a 3-foot rope Am I happy he don't give a fuck He's filled with anger, and filled with rage And tells me I Calling Home Adam Sandler Hey mom, I'm at school, I'm all moved in, everything's great... Oh, wonderful... what side of the room did you take? You mean left or right or... what do you mean? What side of the room? Whitey Adam Sandler Whitey: Oh they day cant begin Till the gard lets me in Then I walk for some exersise In less then a snap I complete my daily lap Then it's time to SOCILIZE I see Raidy and Ruth at the Information Booth four years old Adam Sandler I'm not in the mood To play your games Or sit on your lap You Where's my Yankees drinking glass? ode to my car Adam Sandler Here we go Piece of shit car I got a piece of shit car That fuckin' pile of shit Never gets me very far My car's a big piece of shit 'Cause the shocks are fucking shot And my seatbelt's fucking The Champion Adam Sandler she about to fall from grace In the land of the rising sun shadows are falling again The die is cast, the future and past coming to her at last Oh, oh, oh All she needed was a Champion Oh, oh, oh Crying The Adventures Of The Cow Adam Sandler And now a cow at bat in the bottom of the 6th inning of a little league game getting hit by a pitch" [Baseball sounds and cow bell ringing,ball is hit and hits cow] [Cow:] Moo "And now a cow who goes skydiving The Hypnotist Adam Sandler Stewart: and I just want you to relax, and you're going to fall into a deep state of mind of subconsciousness you're very comfortable, I'll be counting back from five, I just want you to relax, and the chanuka song Adam Sandler This is a song that uhh.. There's a lot of Christmas songs out there and uhh.. not too many Chanukah songs. So uhh.. Memory Lane Adam Sandler ] [M4:] "It reminds me of smelling a 60 year old guys ass" [car screeches, he drops out of the car] [M4:] "Hey, screw you guys I am who I am deal with it" [M1:] "I'm glad we got rid of him his was The Chanukah Song Adam Sandler Put on your yarmulke Here comes Chanukah So much funukah To celebrate Chanukah Chanukah is the festival of lights Instead of one day of presents, we have eight crazy nights When you feel like the only corduroy blues Adam Sandler to remove my shirt What made a millionaire out of Mr. lunchlady land Adam Sandler "This is a song..." "This is uhh, This is a new song..." "It's through the eyes of one of the greatest people alive, I feel..." Inner Voice Adam Sandler I got a ten story mansion on the beach With a swimmin' pool filled up with the drool of Robin Leach Richer than a Twinkie, I got so much cash That to me Paris Hilton is poor white trash I take forty-seven