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The Adventures Of The Cow Adam Sandler And now a cow at bat in the bottom of the 6th inning of a little league game getting hit by a pitch" [Baseball sounds and cow bell ringing,ball is hit and hits cow] [Cow:] Moo "And now a cow who goes skydiving Memory Lane Adam Sandler [M4:] "It reminds me of smelling a 60 year old guys ass" [car screeches, he drops out of the car] [M4:] "Hey, screw you guys I am who I am deal with it" [M1:] "I'm glad we got rid of him his was a I'm so Wasted Adam Sandler [Sound of crickets. Guy walks across grass] [Joe:] "Hey pal! How ya doin?" [M2:] "I'm so wasted, man." [Joe:] "Yeah, you are, oh ho ho!" [M2:] "Thanks man." [Joe:] "It's good party, huh?" The Mayor Of Pussytown Adam Sandler in 9 duce i got pissed on 10 times I roll solo i ain't got no clue i said please don't hit me more than a cow says moo afraid of heights i'm a-scared in the dark i walk an extra 3 miles to avoid crazy The Champion Adam Sandler she about to fall from grace In the land of the rising sun shadows are falling again The die is cast, the future and past coming to her at last Oh, oh, oh All she needed was a Champion Oh, oh, oh Crying The Buffoon and the Valedictorian Adam Sandler Buffoon: "That girl in the fucking car in front of us, she gives everybody head." Valedictorian: "Well, I guess she's strong for attention and she feels promiscuity is the only way to obtain it." The Goat Adam Sandler this bad Why, when I was a young talking goat The Old Man was just like my dad I come from the hills of Europe That's where I met the Old Man He was lost in the woods, I gave him directions He ode to my car Adam Sandler Here we go Piece of shit car I got a piece of shit car That fuckin' pile of shit Never gets me very far My car's a big piece of shit 'Cause the shocks are fucking shot And my seatbelt's fucking The Cheerleader Adam Sandler Sound of pom-poms] Cheerleader: [With annoying feminine voice] "Ok you guys, let's hear some spirit!" [Performing cheer] Cheerleader: "United, we are united.. the chanuka song Adam Sandler There's a lot of Christmas songs out there and uhh.. not too many Chanukah songs. So uhh.. I wrote a song for all those nice little Jewish kids who don't get to hear any Chanukah songs. The Buffoon and the Dean of Admissions Adam Sandler And now a buffoon's meeting with the dean of admissions at a prestigious college." The Chanukah Song Adam Sandler Put on your yarmulke Here comes Chanukah So much funukah To celebrate Chanukah Chanukah is the festival of lights Instead of one day of presents, we have eight crazy nights When you feel like the only lunchlady land Adam Sandler "It's through the eyes of one of the greatest people alive, I feel..." Joining The Cult Adam Sandler Sounds of Basketball being shot around] Sandler: "Hey man, I'm joining a religious cult." Allen: "Now, that's ridiculous." Sandler: "Well, I'm joining it, so you gotta sign up too." The Boss And The Secretary Adam Sandler Now what you think of that? What do I think of what? This! My ding-a-ling! Come on, play with the shit a little Uh, okay... Lower, baby! Gettin warmer... Okay... The Mule Session Adam Sandler My girlfriend left me for a seven foot Indian My grandma hung herself on a tree in the Caribbean My sister's on the dope and my brother always picks his nose And Daddy's only happy when he's wearing Mama's The Goat Song (Album Version) Adam Sandler The Goat Song I am a simple goat I live on the back of a pick-up truck The Old Man tied me here with a 3-foot rope Am I happy he don't give a fuck He's filled with anger, and filled with rage And the goat song Adam Sandler always this bad Why, when I was a young talking goat The Old Man was just like my dad I come from the hills of Europe That's where I met the Old Man He was lost in the woods, I gave him directions The Beating of a High School Science Teacher Adam Sandler And now the severe beating of a high school science teacher." [Lecturing] "Zinc is by far the best element." "I also like plutonium." "It's just fun to say." "Plutonium." The Amazing Willy Wanker Adam Sandler When I was just a little wee lad I hopped on the lap of my dear old dad Something jumped and poked me good 'That' he said 'just me morning wood' A little tin soldier's marchin by Sergeant major unzips The Hypnotist Adam Sandler Stewart: and I just want you to relax, and you're going to fall into a deep state of mind of subconsciousness you're very comfortable, I'll be counting back from five, I just want you to relax, and Assistant Principal's Big Day Adam Sandler As you may, or may not know, Principal Cambell will not be here for the rest of the week due to a throat infection. the beating of a high school janitor Adam Sandler "And now, the sever beating of a high school janitor." The Excited Southerner Orders A Meal Adam Sandler Hi, how are you...I was...if you could, tell me, if you...eh, the chef salad, if it, does it come, if you come... a la carte, if you see the...I saw the breakfast menu and the, and they got the, and Inner Voice Adam Sandler I got a ten story mansion on the beach With a swimmin' pool filled up with the drool of Robin Leach Richer than a Twinkie, I got so much cash That to me Paris Hilton is poor white trash I take forty-seven the chanukah song part ii Adam Sandler Put on your yarmulke Its time for Chanukah So much funnaka To celebrate Chanukah Chanukah is the festival of lights Instead of one day of presents We get eight crazy nights When you feel like The Excited Southerner Proposes To A Woman Adam Sandler Setting: A restaurant with music playing in the background] "And now the Excited Southerner proposes to a girl." Girl: "You wanted to ask me something?" Excited Southerner: "Yes, I did. Sweet Beatrice Adam Sandler Hangin' with my sweet amour She came out with a lion's roar Yellin' "I'm goin' to the corner store," Be back at quarter to four "Don't slam you pinkies in the drawer" She can be like a maiden from Dancin` And Pantsin` Adam Sandler But I found a place where the stars hang out And they taught me how to funk Real nasty It ain't too far away It's just on the edge of town Nearby But be ready when you get there 'Cause these folks sweat beatrice Adam Sandler Hanging with my sweet amour She came out with a lion's roar Yelling, "I'm going to the corner store, Be back at quarter to four" "Don't slam your pinkies in the drawer" She can be like a maiden